*finds hip new joint in right side of town, and wanders in, noticing the lack of doormen*
Hello? Hellooooo?
*goes off to find tacky club with chicks in, since this place sucks*

*Finishes beer and says 'I will be back , I have some unfnished "business" to take care of'.

Tries to look cool walking out the door and promptly trips over a bar stool and then treds on tg*

Hehe (nervous laughter) - runs out of the door before he gets hit.

and i have a great massive glass of red wine

I haven't finished this one yet!

(Just got an Ice-cold Kronenbourg outta the freezer)

No. Your BioPOT. Here look in this mirror and then have another beer.

liar!

i knew it was you

I AM JO KING!

Hey, Is did tg realy fall off that stool or was she jo king?

oh dear, and accuses her of...

tg orders another 10 pints of Stella with vodka red bull chasers and promptly falls off bar stool. At which point her CEO walks in.

Is there a bad smell in here or what?

*Walks in eating a rather dodgy looking kebab bought from Zorba. Looks around and wonders if there is anyone sober enough to talk to*

*lurking outside in kebab van hoping to make some wonga selling dodgy kebabs to drunken revellers coming out of the singles joint*

what are you trying to say?! all yanks are intrusive?!

You fukkkin poof. D'you wanna fight?

mate; just leave the lady alone, alright she's not interested

I'm alright, d'ya wannna fight or fucckin' wa'? Bluuurgh!

will someone pls take Tom home. he's afeckign discrace

Tries to saunter smmothly over to XWP and falls over own feet. And then pukes. Again.

Now I'm doing a runner.. She's freakin mad!

*hic*

100! just like the good old days!

Aaah..... Now I understand... But I'm still scared...

*blup*

sensing; sorry. just blown my chance

mmm, alchohol.

sensing?

Seizing my vulnerability?!?

What the feck does that mean?!?

Staggers to feet and orders more whiskey.

*parp*

xena shuffles up to smc, sesing his vulnerability

jason ' chuck' x

Waddles in.

Orders drink.

Pulls up trousers.

there's a bad smell in here.

A Barley Wine please barman.

*leaves having installed covert camera in both loos*

Struggles with T-shirt falls over and pukes again.

tg commences 10th pint of Stella and 5th whisky chaser

i'm off, only came in here for a cocoa.

xwptakes off her t shoirt and makes tomd give her his

Awright darrrrlin. Blurrrgh!! (Spews all over XWP)

begins whiskey drunk conversation with TomD by saying "R u a John Bull, I f'ucking hate John Bulls" then shoots him for no reason

xena returns from loo, hitching down t shirt and looking flushed

Your my bessshht mate you arrrre. I Fuccking luvvv youu.

allo Tom D

Double Jack Daniels please. (Settles down to a serious getting rat-arsed session)

Sod her then. I always felt like trying a cowboy.

Hey Johnny, mince over here and show me your shooter.

"fondling my six-gun"...sounds decidedly dodgy...

(broods in corner, fondling my six-gun)
"Whiskey, dammit!!!!" I yell at barkeep at inappropriate moment

*looks at Clovis*

Not tonight you little charmer, I've got my eyes on someone else.....

like me?

it's like buses, bobbins. You wait for ages and then two come along at once!

TG - you didn't recognise my chat up lines? As in:

Because you've been running through my head all night.
Because someone must have stolen the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes, and my personal favourite

Neither do I, but it helps break the ice!

*doesn't bother with coat, ignores cab, runs home to drawing board*

Phwoar, I really fancy that Assivolc.

I wonder if i can pull?

"Hello darling, fancy a shag?"

a whole tube of them bobbins?

*Clovissa in equally unconvincing disguise*

HELLO BOYS!!!!!!

I knew I shold have left me helmet at home. Always a give away, that is.

hehehehe - it's like pringles

erm. no. no. dunno. (*looks confused*)

yeah - the helmet gives you away

(cycle helmet I mean)

TG - Are you tired? Is your Dad a thief? How much do polar bears weigh etc?

your disguise isn't very good, is it, Clovis, you sleazy double-crosser!

Hi TG, how about you and me going somewhere quieter?

(adjusts Cowboy hat into menacing fight position, jumps into the air and assumes unkonown karate position, and exclaims YYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!)
*wonders why everyone is staring*

Bing takes custard pie in face from stage left.

xena slips in splieed whiskey and a brawl ensues

phwooar, we were all after him on friday tankie

*rushes over to buy whisky for TG. trips. swears*

bobbs pulled twice? TWICE. God, now I really am depressed! Give me another whisky!

xena petend she hasn't noticed clovis draping himself onn her

laughs at johnny again

*chases philanderer out of door, throwing pint glass after him*

Now where's that nice mr bobbins?

***Sees Clovissa and runs out of this thread forever***

Okay - in the last week it should have said. Don't be pedantic!

jesus

wears=where's

i dunno, yoss, but i think bobbs has found out what he has been missing

*grabs Clovis by the ear*

And wears your ring you little bastard?

Bobbs pulled twice this week? It`s only Monday! What have I been missing?

attempts Del-boy cool with similar results.

recovers cigarette, drops lighter

Not many of us in here is there. Bobbs - get out you pulled twice this week and cannot now join us!

Hmm, I think TG's ignoring me...

Oi............ what do you think you're doing in here you cheating womaniser??????

hehehe!

Tosser

*just off for a wank*

seeya later!

Puts arm around Xena in an attempt at "claiming" her before Yoss moves in.

don't be shy

*Cough*

er ... good afternoon everyone

clovis, you old rogue

*spots new female arrival, takes advantage of Johnny's embarrassment*

joleyn joyleyn I'm begging of you

Walks up to Xena, asks if she is doing anything tonight.

I'd best just have 10 pints of Stella and a whisky chaser then, ta.

xena collapses laughing at johnny then puts some Dolly on the jukebox

it's a bit early for a drink.

Hello barman. veg lasgne please!

*glares at intrusive yank*

I'll have guineess (not that cold ice chill nonsense either) and a Jameson with ice, ta

*removes ring from finger*

Saunters in, trying to look casual, but is convinced that every one is looking at me and laughing.

wild turkey on the rocks, please.
(looks around bar for attractive lady types, ambles over to Xena)
"So what's a purdy thang like ya, doin' in a dive like this?" I say as I fumble my marlboro out of the pack and drop it on the floor

Why thank you, ma'am. What are you having?

i lined it up and you knocked it down. have a drink sir

Nah, I just let her go.

there you go mate. you were too good for her. plenty more fish in the sea. chaser?

Oh, hello. Yeah, may as well XWP.

all in the same glass, bing?

single again?

Lager, red wine and a rum & coke please.

(pause)

Yeah, so I'm single. What of it?

guiness please

*drums fingers. barmen seem to be taking their time with XWP's brandy*

can someone get the doorperson pls? this place is worse than a gay club full of straight people.

I am sooo not single, as you all found out on Friday...

expletive off! you have a ladyfrend!

lager please

*glances up*

single? I thought it said simple

*gets coat and leaves*

can I buy you a drink, love?

so Twixes, Time Outs and Spiras are banned??

*wanders in. looks around. takes a pew*

hehe

a place for single 40%ers to just hang out, chat and not pick people up. Brandy pls!