Jennifer Lopez could be the Egyptian Sun God,
No she can't
cos she's a bird
you silly little sod.

bye

seth bye bye
must fly fly
like an ibix

seeya Xy.

and congrats to bobbins for his luxor/trucks or rhyme

I'm off hoem for a nap

goodnight

[continued: It was the rotten teeth which alerted me to the possibility]

[looks shady, whilst drinking cider]

[aside to camera: I had always suspected that Gooner was, indeed, Pam Ayres. This flat denial merely aroused my suspicion even more than it had been aroused previously. It was positively engorged.]

Someone just sent me this. It's very poetic.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked.
Bring beer.

who do you think i am seth? pam ayres?

A wonderful time was had by all,
On the nile in Cairo.
I was about to send some postcards home,
But forgot to bring my biro

Is "luverly" in your poim? I think it should be.

Waterloo twinset

luverly

Waterloo sunset

kid, my only kid,
you've gone all quiet,
now I feel sad too,
I think I know
something,
I won't deny it, Egypt.

we'll build a pyramid in Luxor,
transporting stones by great big trucks or
since they don't currently exist
fok the tomb lets all get pissed

Ahmon Ho Tep?

No, heggburgah actually, mon.

we really need to divert from the egyptian theme.

shall i put it up?

hehehe excellent Seth!

Funky cold Medhina

"Walk like an erection"

I said I was wet I was all washed up
I had no funky style
"You just don't get it yet" she said
"cause you're just in de Nile".

musy be careful in the big city

XWP- your poem was funny,
I'll pass on your wishes in French, Greek or Brummie,
I'll tell her tonight when we're both pissed,
cos I've always been a cunning linguist!

Any rhymes for Luxor? (steps back)

There's two lines, gooner, and they're crackers.

simon groom uneartehed my tomb

(apologies for the rudeness of this one - poetic licence don't you know)

when it goes down your oesophegus
it just like swallowing a sarcophegus

she'll be flattered that so many people care. A combined IQ of 200 writng her a Matt Poom

There's two lines, gooner, and they're crackers.

Egyptian?

No she came of her own accord.

somehow i don't think putting it up here would be the wisest of moves.

key us off with a word then...

may we help?

shit shit shit

i'm two lines from a fuggin masterpiece here.

I've got two ankhs at home !!!

Don't you mean Fanta Canape, tree?

with my tatoo of an ankh
I look like a great big wankh

I will take you to cairo
Just let me cash mee Giro
(Willy Russell)

pls send mrs P my love
that multi lingual lady
have a nice time dancing whales
and eat some marmalady

Bow down to my sun-god
Brace yourself for my hot-rod

stevie - see 'only on this site...'

*gone*

ee love; your skin's just like papyrus

old man lives alone,
lies dead for 4 weeks,
body fat melts,
smelly puddle found

gooner - you'd beetter use all this.

I'm off now to watch Phantom Menape for the first time... seeyas, ta, this has been funny man

I won't be coming for a beer
wiv your mate who is queer
cos I am goin' London to see
the lovely gorgeous MrsP

90 post in the first 25 mins.

midnight at the oasis
bring your camel to bed etc......

mummy! mummy!

and then you will emit a gasp
as a stick you with my Asp

*laughing himself into a nervous breakdown*

i wonder, by my troth, what thou and I did 'til we first loved

you know a pyramid is like a prysm,
would you care to lick my jism?

I want to jab my sausage in a hot furry (laughs and falls off chair)

luncheon meat,
you never know your luck

coem up to my pyramid big boy

see my hyroglyphics" I mean

stevie - thats dead funny

let me take your alabaster hand
let's go for a walk in the sand
let's ride a camel
before bobbins smokes the fecker

cuppa tea,
for an old gypsie woman

time to use chat-up specifics
"come and see hyroglyphics"

I shagged her in the rushes
My favourite peas are mushies

make a sandwich,
give it to a smelly tramp

Lovely, lovely Nubian girl,
Com on anthea; give us a twirl

I'm no Moses
but you know where my hose is?

oh, theres me thinking Im clever

take your PC,
and give it to a poor person right now

Ra

let them eat cak

I hope that with a little guile
I'll get to paddle up your Nile

give to the poor,
right now

cleo, show me that you care
let the sand go everywhere

beastly

I've made myself alugh a lot hahahaaaaa

Come behind that pyramid
you cleopatra type
I'll take my y-fronts off
and jam you in the fanny

I can feel a Bluem Peter expeditono to the valley of the kings poem coming on

Just like Ramasese
i'd like to fill your ass with soft cheese

musy me go for beer
wiv me friend who is queer
in 30 minutes
are you coming along, innit?

cheers bobbs

[scribbles with crayon]

Just like Ramasese
i'd like to ram your ass with ease
but in order to prevent disease
I'll use a condom if you please

the rameses wordplay is dazzling goona

seth - too hard on me as always

this is what i have so far...

Just like Ramasese
i'd like to ram your ass with ease

whaddya think?

tree: C-, must try harder.

If i was a sun-god,
dadadadadada,
i would be a hot rod
dadadadadadadadadada
rub cream all over tree's bod
dadadadadadadadadadadaa

XWP, that's pretty impressive. Had you written it before?

Osiris and Isis
practiced funny vices
when Seth cut Ozzi's willy off
it was eaten by a crab

XWP
mek us a kofi
in bout 'alf an hour
alright me flower?

If you won't be my Cleopatra
I will issue a beastly fatwah

seth
I want to eat your death

you make me weep we tears
of butter joy

get bumf**ked you drunk cunt!

(hows that my mate?)

Remember that great poim in Twin Peaks. Jack Nance is writing it to Josie...

when Josie walks into the room,
all the flowers bloom,
[pauses, thinking of rhyme]
gloom...
doom...
tomb...

poerty kicks ass, mussy

I am seth
My sister, mary beth,
was on of the Waltons

My name is seth
The death
of Jill dando touched me deepley

Ra Ra Ra
we're going to smash the oiks!

stevie - its a deal. Dont' use it in the midlands though?

blimey, this is popular.

"Come around to my pad tonight
So I can smother you in gooey marmite"

try some other egyptian gods or something

I'm as horny as Anubis
I want to tickle on your pubis

..or something sophisticated like that

Not a lot rhymes with Seth, though.

cheapskate

dear turbot

Of course Seth was the Egyptian god of Speed and Leather. Why don't you use him/me in a poim?

tree, i'll buy that rhyme off of ye (2 quid?)

i am the god of the sun
i read the currant bun
I'd like to have soem fun
But, my winkle is stuck in a gun

"If you say that I'm your only fella
I'll cover you in sweet nutella"

yeah, so roses are red,
I made up the rest,
if you've go some big fucking secret,
then why don't you sing me something, ra

the new Datsun Ra

oohh ahh,
i lost my Ra,
must of left it,
some 3,000,000,000 miles from my boyfriends car

"When you're around my heart's a flutter
I want to cover you in crunchy peanut butter"

jesus wants me for a sun beam

gooner - dont use that last one. I want to

oh girl
whenever I am wit you girl my diccy turn to stoine

i am so hornee for your puccy

satch - were you at my desk lunchtime?

My name is ra
I like ya
I'd like to tek off yer bra
in the back of my dar
Lie on this casting couch and I'll mek you a star

"Gonnerette you're such a top bird,
I want to smother you in lemon curd......."

hehe - not quite bobbs.

snap!

ra
show us yer bra

and mek us a cuppa eh you sockhead?

are you going to rhyme Ra with bra (in the back of ya boyfriends ca )

you are ra
my lovely ra
you mek me happy
when skies are grey

Isn't the sun god Garry Bushell?

it's kinda poem/lyrics. it may or may not be for her.

it's fairly universal. i'll let you chaps use it.

bird

comparing yourself to Ra?
isn't that a little...well ... self er confident?

STOP SAYING BIRD YOU WOMAN HATERS!!!

I'm sure Mrs gooner would love apoem co written by us

snap?

snap!

It was DEFINITELY BERT

...Rasputin,
Lover of the Russian Queen...

is this to your bird?
if so can we help....

go team!

Rasputin..lover of the ...etc

love poem for goonerette?

Ra

Sun Ra

space is the place

Ra

Ra

Ra

i'm writing a poem and i can't remember.