Pain Is Temporary, Pride Is Forever

I open my eyes and see her beautiful face looking down at me. I smile at first, but then realize that something is wrong. Instead of looking happy she is worried. I suddenly begin to panic because I realize where I am. I’m on a back board being carried, my head and neck in a brace. I can’t figure out why I’m in this condition. It’s so quiet, so quiet. The people all around me are saying nothing. I see her lips move as she says something but I can’t hear her. My head is killing me, I can feel blood trickling out my nose. The only thing I can see is the ceiling of the arena. I close my eyes and try to remember what had happened, what oh why can’t I remember what happened to me. I feel them sliding me into the ambulance, I open my eyes and see the medical people. They say something but again I can’t hear them. I begin to realize that I’m deaf and I don’t know why, my head feels like its going to explode. In the frustration of whats going on around me and the pain I can feel tears running down my face. I’m terrified now, I realize my career might be over. I think to myself why is this happening to me. I arrive at the hospital and the doctors begin to check me out, they ask me questions that I can’t hear. It takes them a minute to realize why I’m not responding to them, they realize that its more serious than they had thought. I just close my eyes and drift off as they inject me with pain reliever. The last thing I remember is them shaving my head.

I begin to remember things as I’m under. Not much, but enough to grasp what may have happened to me. They asked me if I would be willing to fight Robert. Yeah, Robert Houser. Rob was a huge guy, about 6’7” and about 300 lbs of pure muscle. Now I’ve fought plenty of guys but none like Rob, none had his passion or skills. Tracy, my girlfriend and manager, warned me that it may not be a good idea for me too fight Rob. But no, I had to be stubborn and say that I’d be fine and that I could handle Rob. I knew that I would lose but as long as I got the job done, I’d be happy. All of a sudden I stop remembering, I was waking up.

Oh man, I feel like crap. There are tubes coming out of me all over the place. Wait, I....I can hear. I feel myself crying tears of happiness that I can hear again. Tracy comes to my side after hearing me sob. I can see she is excited that I’m awake. I try to speak but can’t think of how to do it. She can see the look of confusion come over my face, and she tries to console me. She says that its all right if I can’t say anything, I’ve been out for two weeks. Two weeks, I had no idea that I was that bad off. People come to see me but I can’t say anything to them, I can’t figure it out.

Its been two weeks since I woke up, and after long rehabilitation, I can finally hold a conversation with someone. Rob came to see me and told me how sorry he was for what happened. I told him that I still had no idea what had happened to me. He told me that while we were fighting he knocked me while I was on the top rope. I lost my balance more than he thought I would and fell off. When I fell I didn’t fall with it as I had been trained and landed right on my head. I was out for ten minutes before they finally got the ambulance there. I was bleeding all over and from everywhere. Tracy was crying, as was most of the people in the crowd. All the guys in the back were freaking out, some came out to see what could be done. I ask him what they did to me when I got to the hospital. He told me that they had to go in and relieve the pressure in my head, they almost lost me once. I realized for the first time how close I had come to death and began to get sick.

I’m finally being released to go home. Tracy is here to take me. Some of the other guys are here as well. I get home and they sit me down on the couch and ask me I’m sure I want to see the tape of what happened. I say I have to see it, its the only way I’ll know what happened that night. Sure enough, it happened just as Rob had told me, purely accidental. I smashed my head so hard, but that wasn’t why I’m crying as they stopped the tape. I see the people in the crowd, they were scared, worried, crying, and in complete shock. I never realized that something like this could effect so many people. I look over at my bedroom and see huge bags of mail. All the people had sent me stuff. I once again look at the screen and then the bags. I decided that no matter what I’m going to sit down and answer all the mail. For three days I toil on the mail and finally get it all done.

Two months I have been home, answering mail, getting my strength back, preparing for my return. I have some hair again and a huge scar where they cut me open, I think it looks cool, yet extremely scary at the same time. I’m going to make an appearance on tv tonight, Tracy is preparing my stuff. I get out in front of the crowd for the first time in three months. Everyone is cheering for me, I can feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks. I love this job, no matter what happens. Later on people ask me how I can even think of getting back in the ring. I tell them that if they felt what I have felt from those people out there they’d realize that its not just for me its for them. They want to see me and I want to give them that. This isn’t for money, its because I love what I do, its who I am, and I need to do it. That is why I’m going to get myself back to one hundred percent, and find Rob. They say I’m crazy, and I say they’re right, but I love it and I’ll never go down.

Back To My Room

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