Playoff Punks,

Well, the first round of the playoffs is over. The Florida Fuegos continue on their quest to become the first 2-time winners of our ultimate prize by pasting the Feeney Flakes. In the other game, a true travesty of justice occurred with the Wily Weasels NARROWLY squeaking by the formidable Angry Amoebas (un-biased opinion). Will they be Angrier next year? Damn straight!

Anyway, congrats to the 2 winners and good luck to both on their bid for FFL immortality.

Note, there are 2 Saturday games this week so get those lineups in.

Another note...so there is no confusion, like in past years, the high score booty is only available to those 8 teams not making the playoffs (during the 2 playoff weeks). Dammit, those teams are already cashing in (except for the Angry Amoebas who deserve oh so much more) (once again--un-biased). So the Legends pull in the 10 simoleons this week.

So revel in the fact that this may be my next-to-last email of the season!!!! Hooray, we'll shut that guy up already! I'll send the last (hopefully) email on Tuesday telling everyone what they owe/receive.

Good luck to Keese and Matt!!! (mostly Keese)
(sorry Matt, you won once already...)

Dark lord
From Paul:

And can I have the dark lord's effing address so I can send my effing rubber check for my effing add drops.
From Ellen:

Taking this a little on the rough side, are we Mr. Diggity Dog????????????? who knows, you may take high score this week and owe $10 less (hey, i did you, so you certainly have a shot!!!)
From Paul:

Please read your email...specifically the part where you let everyone know "I did you". You said you wont tell!
From Ellen:
oops, i guess i messed this up!!!!! now everyone knows our little secret!!! but some things are just toooooo good to keep to yourself LOLOLOL

From Paul:

BEWARE the CHADS

From John:

I say we give Keese some serious luck by stating openly in e-mail that Matt has all but won it. Let's just give him the money. Why even play the game. Matt's the clear winner. Yeah, nobody can compare to Mighty Matty. Two-timer. Four flusher (but only after Taco Bell).

(that should do it for ya Keese)

And now onto to business at hand, other than me openly berating Dave (wasn't that fun? ha ha ha ... nervous laughter abounds) I've been quiet this year. I've been sitting in my bunker formulating plans. Doing add/drops (to the tune of $75 smackers - yee-ow, why didn't somebody stop me!). Losing games. *ahem*

So, out the window goes my excuse that running the league cut into valuable analysis time. Hmmm, what can I think up now. Oh yeah, this is the year Keese made it to the Stupor Bowl. In a year when that happens ANY and ALL excuses are valid. Dogs and cats, living together. Total chaos rules. I was drunk.

How do get a handkerchief to dance? Blow a little boogie in it. And blow a little boogie into the league we did this year.

Good job everyone. That will be all. Move along. Nothing to see here. Matt has won it all. Grumble grumble grumble.

I get first dibs on NOT being in Matt or Mike S's division next year. I will however take on that punk of a Dark Lord (yeah, take that Mr. Undefeated!)

Thanks to Sean for taking over the league office and infusing us with a minimalist make-over that silenced the dogs. Not much was heard this year from the league office or the teams themselves. This saddens me. It used to be so much fun to trash talk the saps, err, opponents but now that has all gone by the wayside. *sigh*

Observations:

- Plenty of trash talk was going on at oour lunches though. Kevin has to be the odds on favorite to repeat as Wing Nut of the Year. I never saw a guy who had a .500 record trash talk so badly, but he more than tripled his wins from last year with only 1 add/drop (I think someone died on his team....send flowers if ya can) so he gets the clap (I mean applause).

- Mike S fought hard to get into the plaayoffs but then the season began and it all was over for him.

- The Dogs of War (hey, can I trademark that name since you're changing yours next year?) didn't bark or bite much )ok, so they bit ALOT but I don't want to be brutal...Paul's on suicide watch)

- The Flakes proved that no draft strateegy is a great draft strategy. His team should be called the Seinfelds. It's a strategy about nothing.

- Csaba vowed to be involved more this yyear. Well, you there pal? ... tap tap tap (taps on monitor)

- Frank fell off the face of the Earth aand dragged his team with him. Someone check Frank's pulse.

- Dave kicked some major ass and wins thhe coveted "Oh So Close" award. But in the end, the joke was on him. One last jab there Dave. Oh yeah, just kidding. :-)

- Sean proved that his team was really rreally good. A man who loves hockey so much knows the term "Second Season" very well. One of these years you'll prevail because you certainly lay waste during the First Season. But until then, man you lost to KEESE! (psssst: say you threw the game to absolve yourself of all sins)

- Matt good luck pal. Make our divisionn proud. What am I saying, you already won. Spend it wisely (read: stay away from the stock market)

- Ellen faired well again. Oh wait, no she didn't. But to be fair she was in a division with the red hot Amoebas and Crunch. Remember Ellen, real men drive jeeps. (repeats over and over under his breath ... stupid name, stupid name, stupid name....)

Bye bye, buy Bonds
from Dave:

I agree with Paul (hard to believe).

BTW, Paul what is this with you and Ellen?
from Paul:

I carry her love child and I'm not afraid to admit it. I carry it to the bridge and try to throw it over, but it always grabs my collar and hangs on. Good grip too, hangs on even when I am punching it in the face.
from Ellen:

Paul,
I thought we were keeping the love child a secret???????? just because i slipped and let part of the story out, didn't mean you had to tell ALL!!!!!!! and of course she has a good grip!!!!

Dave wrote:

and all this time I thought it was former Shock Co-Owner ( GUS), I realize that I am going to hit really, really hard for this one.

Ellen wrote:

REALLY REALLY HARD does not even come close to what is in store for you the next time i see you......i would say goodbye to Kathleen/Darlene, and the girls, cause you are a DEAD MAN!!!!!!!! It's always been Paul.....and we kept the secret for a long time......but my slip must have been a freudian thing.....and now everyone knows :)

After Sunday's games, I wrote:
Subject: It Ain't Over Yet!!!

If Al Gore can get away with not conceding for 6 weeks, then I can too! I must admit, it's a heavy load asking Torry Holt to produce 43 points tomorrow... I just got a call from the Ravens, they were asking what day their game was - seems Matt told them it was tomorrow. James Allen had his shoelaces tied together.

Hey, Sean, can I use last week's score for this week??? No, I can't? Well, then, I will claim I was confused by the plethora of choices in setting up my lineup - I meant to start New Orleans defense - EVERY POINT MUST COUNT!!!

OK, I will appeal to the Florida Supreme FFL Court. Just that I think that the "Fuego" party has undue influence there (the "Florida Fuegos", remember) so I may have to start a Sore Loser League after all - no one with the initials M.C. is allowed to join.

Actually, if Matt does eventually win despite my efforts to confuse and confound, it would be fitting - after all, the "Connie" is rightfully his! (altho he already has one!!). And I will have to content myself with a new web page "We're Number Two!!!"

Good season, everyone, and looking forward to next year - REMATCH!!!

Keese

John replied:

Wait, this just in. It's over.
I started babbling:

Sources tell me that there were irregularities in Sundays games - so in leiu of a laxative treatment, we should go with only Saturday's scores, thereby giving me a resounding 6 to 3 victory!!!!

OK, gotta go now, I think I'm just looking a little bit foolish...

Mike F astutely replied:

It took you 16 weeks to figure this out??
reality sets in on Tuesday:
subject: Hail to the Chump!

Weary Combatants,

Congrats to Matt on his second consecutive Stupor Bowl title!!! Keese returned to his usual scoring trend (one week AFTER playing me, but I'm not bitter) and Matt handed him the loss.

Well, it's the moment you've been waiting for...time to pay up (HOORAY!)

People who OWE money:
ed note - amounts have been edited
Paul: 80 centavos
Mike S: 40 lire
John: 75 pfennig
Frank: 25 groschen
Ellen: 40 sheckels


Please send a check (do NOT use Paypal, please) to the following address:
Dark Lord
BMSFFL League Headquarters
Back Door
By the Dumpster
Route 1, NJ by the road construction


Upon receiving ALL of these checks, I will send checks to the following:
Me: 13 sawbucks
Mike F: 12 doubloons
Matt C: 55 haffa-dollahs
Dave M: 9 euros
Keith S: 22 gold bars
Kevin O: 10 kruggerands (I'll just stop by your desk)

(In case any one is interested, I'm attaching a spreadsheet that breaks down all the finances.)

I had a fun time running this motley group of owners this year and look forward to taking the mantle again next year. I will send one more email when I have received all payments to notify the winning owners that their checks are on the way. Or (hopefully not) an email harrassing those who haven't paid yet. If there is a problem with sending a check (please refrain from smart-ass emails...yeah, right), let me know ASAP.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season and a cool 2001:A Space Odyssey New Year! Watch out for the Y2K1 bug!

Be safe,
Dark lord

Greetings to my fellow BMSFFLers,
Well, another season has passed us by and what have we learned? Let's review:
See you all next season......and Happy Holiday's
THE CHAMP!


Ellen wrote:

Matt,
Finally we hear from you.... i guess perhaps your strategy of no trash talk pays off..... congrats on the win, but i must take exception to your comment about the Philly teams.....both the Eagles and the Flyers are doing well (and for the Eagles that is nothing short of a miracle!!!)
My preference for beer is either Pete's Wicked Ale or Sam Adams.....
Happy Holidays to all,
The "Next Year HAS to be Better" Princess
Mike S wrote:

Matt,

There's nothing worse than a sore winner (or whiner), didn't your mother ever tell you its not polite to gloat with your mouth open!

However, I do have to admit that you assembled a strong team and congratulations are in order.

Next year - well that's another story!

Congrats,

Mike

I wrote:

Matt? Is it really you? I thought Bob W. was managing your team this year, it did so well...
Congrats and all that schmaltz... speaking of schmaltz, that's the beer you should get for the draft.

Also, I'm happy to unite everyone even if it's to root for me to lose... (exceptions noted, I know who you are - the "Anti-Matt" contingent of the league). I think Matt put that Italian curse on my team last week - I mean, 1 stinkin' point for my QB! My reserve defense gets 19 points!!! OK, enough crying, I'll be back next year, you can count on it!!!

Just for fun, anyone care to guess who will win the Super Bowl? After careful thought I am picking the Saints - Ricky Williams is back now and the passing game is going great. (altho the Rams could do it as well, I predict they will get into the playoffs at least). And then, Philly fans, there's the EAGLES!! I won't complain if they make it...

Great season, guys, hit the showers! (except Ellen, you may go to the sauna).
Keese

ps - now I shall go back to Archiving the old Heralds and put a final one out for this season. Happy holidays!