Age: under 30
Height: under 6 feet
Weight: under 110
Marital Status: Single
Hobbies: knowing every baseball statistic ever, making fun of nerds, and getting all worked up about stuff.
Favorite drink: Vodka, cream soda, and Juicy Juice (tm)
Favorite beer: Miller High Life
Claim to fame: Drank 38 beers in one evening. The first 24 were consumed in four hours.
Distinguishing characteristics: subcutaneous golf ball hidden in upper arm.
Tim is a kind, friendly guy, the kind of guy who’s always up for a good time. He loves controversy, and he loves competition. He likes to be different, but he is susceptible to being embarrassed in public situations. It seems his greatest weakness is clothing. I can think of a great story where Tim wore some "unusual" clothes to a date function, but I don’t think I’ll tell that one here. Kevin K., however, has a spiffy little Tim story for you.
As for the Tim Leather Vest story:
Nathan and Tim find these two horrible, reddish-brown pleatherette vests and put them on. Wearing nothing underneath them (unless you're counting Nathan's sweater-like chest hair). Then we decide to go out, to ring in the new year at some snobby Buckhead bar. Nathan acts like he's going to wear the vest out in public, and Tim goes along with the plan. As soon as we're in the car, leaving for the place, Nathan takes off the vest and puts on this sweater that Chris brought for him. Tim starts staring, bug-eyed. Nathan says, "You didn't think I was serious, did you?"
Everyone is howling -- I mean, howling -- I thought Dave H.was going to have to pull the car over. We all stroll into this bar, with everyone dressed up from parties and shit that night, and Tim comes walking in like the cowboy from the Village People. He's beet-red, choking on the rage. And it's like 30 degrees outside, so you can pretty much *see* the nipples poking through the pleatherette vest. Hilarious.
Ahh, I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen Tim beet-red, choking on his own rage. As you can see from the photo, Tim is a handsome, well adjusted person. In case you’re wondering, that picture was from his Christmas card. He’s dressed up as his favorite wrestler, Machoman Randy Savage. He’s holding a ceramic monkey. I don’t know what the deal with the monkey is.
Comments from and about the Timster
We all know Tim’s made some great picks this year. He’s also had some great things to say to us in his comments. Let’s remember some of those great lines, shall we?
Do you have anything you'd like to say about Tim? Do you know a good Tim story? Type it below and hit the "submit" button. I'll make sure what you write is reasonably appropriate and then post it on this page.