The Undertaker's Brides

Kiri eventually cried herself out but continued to hold her dream father who now seemed lost in hopelessness because of his situation.

She reflected on how exciting this world had been in the beginning and wondered why so many things had gone wrong - Judy and Kaliegh now rivals for Taker's attention, herself caught in the role the other Brides had cast for her so that her own longings remained unfulfilled, Jean's withdrawing from the group because she preferred to wander alone...but then, Jean had learned useful things during her previous absences so maybe she could cast some light on these complex situations.

Kiri had no idea where Annwn was but she decided to try what Bearer had done to summon her. She wished Jean was with them.

Somewhere deep within the Dreamworld Jean sat in a cave, the walls of which were covered with paintings of animals. Her companion was a man/animal hybrid with antlers; an ancient Lord of the Hunt whose origins were from the Ice Age. He had come into being during a time when human consciousness was just emerging from the Dream and peoples' lives had followed mythic patterns with only the occasional flash of insightful awareness. Through his teaching she had seen how peoples' lives in her time still followed these patterns but now society had decreed that the old stories were retold on far less grand a scale. The great dramas of the gods manifesting on Earth had become the plot of the TV soap opera, fertliser had replaced the blood of the sacrificial king and many of those who would once have been revered as sacred were now classed as insane.

She heard Kiri calling her and the Lord of the Hunt nodded in acknowledgement that she had to leave. As time was relative in the Dreamworld she didn't transport to her destination instantaneously but walked and crawled her way through a labyrinthan cave system until she emerged from the Underworld into the night. Here she took the shape of an owl and flew through dreamtimes and realms to the source of the summons. Her method of travel would make no difference to Kiri's perception of when she arrived but it gave her the opportunity to gather her thoughts together where the Brides, Taker and Kane were concerned. She knew she wouldn't have been gone long from their point of view but from hers it had been many years since she had last seen them all.

Kiri turned as she heard the sound of a window opening and saw a white owl land on the sill. It sat there watching her and Bearer for a second or two before spreading its wings to glide into the room. Then it shimmered and changed into a familiar form.

Jean directed her thoughts into conversational mode. "I heard you call me."

"Paul, this is Jean - one of the Brides" Kiri said. "I called her here because she might be able to help in some way."

Bearer looked up slowly as if he was doing it out of politeness more than interest.

"So much has happened since you've been gone and I don't know where to start," Kiri told her friend.

"Just open your mind to me and think of what you'd like to tell me," Jean instructed. "I shan't attempt to look deeper than you want me to."

Kiri allowed her thoughts to go over everything that she had seen and learned since Jean had left on her travels. When she'd finished the other Bride reached out and placed a hand on her arm in a gesture of support and reassurance.

"Kiri's a role you play in the physical world the same way as the Mistress of the Morgue is a role you're currently playing in this one." Jean told her. "But it's much easier to change the script here. You just have to believe you can and really want to do so. Maybe the other Brides do see you as a solo act but it's the impression you gave them because, for some reason, you think that's how things should be."

"But what about Paul being my father?" Kiri argued.

"You believe he's your father so this makes it seem real," Jean explained. "And as you wrote that part of his script he now has the relevant memories."

Kiri moved away from Bearer. "If that's true I feel so stupid," she said. "But why would I create a fictional past like that?"

"Because it made a dramatic story?" Jean suggested. "We know so little of our real selves who play us. But it's by examining the game of make believe and discovering the reasons why we write our particular scripts that that we learn who we really are."

"But where does that leave me, Kane and the Undertaker?" Bearer asked hopelessly. "I didn't choose to be created evil and my actions were the result of what others willed them to be. Now I've lost everything because of it and the pain and loneliness are unbearable ... why can't someone rewrite things so I don't give a damn?"

"Well, now you're self aware you can start changing things," Jean pointed out. "It won't be easy because you've got the beliefs of millions of people to fight against. But if you REALLY want it, evil can be tranformed into good, cruelty into kindness and hatred into love. And the outcome could be a lot better than not caring about anything."

"But it's far too late to make any difference," he argued despairingly. "Kane, the Undertaker and the Brides regard me as their enemy."

"I don't. Not any more," Kiri told him.

"Neither do I," said Jean. "And Taker is developing self awareness too so there could be a chance of making peace with him."

"And what about Kane?" Bearer wanted to know. "Although his being my son was written into the story the relationship is very real to me."

Kiri sighed. "I don't think he's woken up yet. But Storm's created happiness for him and the rest of us backed her up on this because we wanted it for him too."

"While you all wanted me to hate you because it made things exciting," Bearer accused, his tone and expression revealing that anger was surfacing through his misery.

"Now you have to decide whether you want to continue hating," Jean replied. "It won't be easy but if you succeed, your actions will no longer be dictated by what everyone sees as a good plot."

"It's hard not to hate when I'm here alone," Bearer said, his anger fading.

"I'll stay with you," Kiri told him.

He looked at her with mingled gratitude and confusion. "Why?" he asked. "You aren't really my daughter."

"But right now it feels as if I am," she explained. Then she turned to Jean. "Could you tell Taker what's happened if Paul agrees to it?"

Bearer nodded. "Please do."

"Of course," Jean agreed and immediately willed herself back to the Parlor.

She materialised in the Parlor graveyard and sent out mental feelers to check if Taker was free to talk. She sensed he was occupied with one or more of the Brides and so she shifted in stages through the Parlor realm's timeline until, early the next morning, she knew he was on his own. Then she called him and asked him to join her.

He appeared before her looking careworn and she sighed inwardly because it was obvious that something really serious had happened since Kiri had last been there.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Kiri left a couple of days ago and no-one's heard anything from her since and now Kal has..." His voice was choked as if he were fighting back tears and it was a little while before he could continue talking. "She left because of me ..and Judy's been hurt because of me too."

"I've just come from where Kiri is and she's got everything under control," Jean told him, deciding that the rest of her news might be too much for him to cope with at that moment. "So you needn't worry about her any longer. But what happened to upset Kal so much?"

"I don't know ...that is I did know.... but everything seemed to be alright between us again ..and now I just don't understand.." he said, sounding hopelessly confused by it all.

"It will be easier if you open your thoughts to me" she told him "I won't look deeper than you want me to go."

He did so and revealed far more concerning the events of the past few days than she'd actually bargained for. She knew, however, it wasn't the right time to tell him that certain intimate details ought to be kept to himself although she resolved to let him know this before he used this form of communication with her again.

"I think Kal's probably as confused as you and has gone somewhere to sort herself out the same as Judy did," Jean suggested. "But right now it seems that nobody's ready for the real solution to this problem."

"What solution?" Taker asked her miserably. "The more I've tried to deal with things the worse they get."

"They care for you and you care for them." she replied. "The plain and simple answer would be for you to have a relationship with both of them. But, off course, this is out of the question if they don't agree to it."

"Would YOU be willing to share a man?" he asked her curiously.

"Yes," she said. "On two conditions. The first is that the other woman truly agreed to the arrangement. And the second is that the man didn't regard me as his exclusive property because I, too, might find someone else I could love equally as well."

Something in his expression suggested he would find it hard to accept such a second condition so she was very glad that she had no interest whatsoever in taking him as a lover. Maybe she would change her mind in years to come when he had gained knowledge, experience and enough self awareness not to get drawn into emotional melodramas but right now he was far too young as an individual to attract her.

"So what do I do?" he asked. "I can't ignore Judy because it would hurt her..but if I treat her as a beloved friend then it hurts Kal."

"Judy deserves to be treated as a beloved friend," Jean pointed out. "She was willing to risk her life for you and, as you know, when she believed Bearer could hurt her she was in very real danger. If Kal can't accept this then it's her problem, not yours or Judy's."

"You sound very hard and unsympathetic where Kal's concerned," he accused.

She sighed. "I have every sympathy for her but it IS her problem and ultimately, only she can solve it. Think about her bruise."

"I shouldn't have hit her like that." he said, loking grief stricken and guilty.

"I agree," she said. "But you did and it caused exactly the results she wanted."

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused again.

"Well, in the heat of her anger and jealousy it was understandable she could believe your action would cause a physical effect," she pointed out. "But this is the Dreamworld and she could have willed that injury away within seconds. Instead, she chose to hang on to it even though it must have felt as painful as if it had happened to a flesh and blood body. Don't ask me why she did this because I haven't the faintest idea.. it's a question only she can answer and right now she mightn't have the faintest idea why herself. But there's something else I need to talk to you about."

He knew by her expression that her news was serious and he chewed the inside of his lip, wondering what else he was going to have to deal with.

"Now you must be receptive to my thoughts," she said.

He looked more careworn than ever when she'd finished telling him about Bearer.

"I..I don't know how to handle this," he said, the strain evident in his voice. "I know it's true but the memories .. the pain they've caused me..it's all so real. He was created evil but revenge is so much a part of what I am."

"You are also a warrior who has honor and integrity," she told him. "And you've been equipped with the ability to forgive someone who's hurt you because you've forgiven Kane. Now you have the choice of trying to build on that quality and making it truly your own."

It was then that he remembered the pouch Judy had given him and for some reason he felt compelled to see what was inside. He took it from a pocket, opened it, tipped the contents into his hand and then stared at the circular piece of polished obsidian wondering what it meant. There seemed to be something deep within its glittering blackness and then, suddenly, darkness sourrounded him and he heard a voice.

"See the face of the evil one who has sown the seeds of discord and mistrust amongst you. This evil must be dealt with or you will be lost."

He saw Paul Bearer and the rage and hatred he felt for the man rose in his heart until he feared it would overwhelm him. Then Bearer's face changed into his own before going into further metamorphoses - Jean, Judy, Kaliegh and the other Brides. When, at last, he found himelf back in the graveyard, Jean was watching him with some concern.

"What happened?" she asked. "You looked as if you were in some kind of trance."

He opened his mind to her and showed her what he'd seen. Then he said "When Bearer played the role of our own potential for evil we were united in a common cause. We felt righteous and justified in what we did but he was only a scapegoat. Once he started to become aware and question things he no longer acted as the container of our own darkness and we began to manifest it between ourselves." Then he looked at her and added. "You've faced your darkness already, haven't you."

"Yes," she confirmed. "Annwn has many aspects and the Lord Arawn can be a stern teacher - but he's a pussycat compared to the Lady of Annwn when she decides to take you in hand. Seeing the darkness isn't the same as dealing with it successfully, though, and I have a long, long way to go yet."

He looked into her eyes and saw a far away expression in them as if she were already seeking new horizons. "Something tells me you mean that literally as well as figuratively," he said.

She took his hand in hers in a gesture of friendship and reassurance. "There's nothing more I can do here for the moment because everyone has to fight their own battles. But if you need me you have only to wish for me to appear."

And then she was gone.

Jean was searching for someone - another character in the WWF's story of the Undertaker who, so far, had been absent from events in the Dreamworld. At last she found him standing on the edge of a high cliff contemplating the landscape stretched out before him in the sunlight. He wore the motley clothing of Dude Love teamed with Mankind's mask and when he turned to face her he pointed his forefingers at her and said "Bang, bang."

"Hello,"she replied, unsure how to address him because all three of his personas seemed to be in evidence.

He gave her a sweet, gaptoothed smile. "I knew you were coming to find me. I sensed it. It's how I know a lot of what goes on in the Dreamworld."

"You are aware, then?" she asked rhetorically because his words suggested as much.

"I woke up to myself a long, long time ago," he told her. "Having multiple personalities helped - it gave me multiple perspectives on things. Now I can be anything I want to be and I play the game rather than the game playing me."

"I prefer to watch the game and the players," she replied.

He gave her a sideways look of amusement. "But that's still part of the game too, you know."

She smiled back. "Yes, I do know. But the Gamer needs people to act as spectators at times otherwise how would it be able to observe and evaluate its progress?"

"One day the game will be over." he said, still looking amused. "The Dreamworld and the Waking World all gone because the Universe will have learned everything it wanted to know and will have no need to imagine any of us any more." Then he gave her a good natured grin and added "But it's going to be a long time yet before that happens."

"I think so too," she agreed. "By the way, what name do you go by now?"

He touched his mask. "Mankind, because I represent what lies within the soul of everyone. Uncle Paul's woken up, hasn't he?" "Yes," she confirmed.

"Then I'll go see him if he needs me," he said cheerfully. "But right now I'm playing the part everyone but you's assigned me - the forgotten and disregarded."

"But only because you want to," she replied.

He laughed. "There's no room for me in that particular story right now. And I'm needed elsewhere. We fictional characters play a very important role, you see. As people are the mirror by which the Universe sees its own reflection, so are we the mirror by which people see THEIR reflections. I'm only making sense because I want to, you know." He tugged at his hair, pulled some of it out and let the strands blow away in the breeze. "But, deep down, I'm still as crazy as ever. Do you know what I do now I've woken up?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't."

"I enter the dreamrealms of WWF fans," he replied. "Sometimes I represent what they've despised and rejected. But other times I remind the ones who've been rejected themselves that dreams of their heart really can come true even though it's only for a little while. Dreams must die so there can be other dreams to seek - that way the end of one journey becomes the beginning of the next."

"And does it make any difference?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It can if they really want it to. Most people forget they ever met me when they return to the waking world. But sometimes, when they see Mankind on RAW or a Pay Per View, they hear echoes of what I've said to them deep within their minds. Do you want to travel with me for a while?"

"I'd like that," she told him. "But I want to change into something more appropriate first."

He looked at the result and said "Bow wow" before setting off along the clifftop path with a little dog of nondescript breed trotting at his heels.

Book Fifteen of The Undertaker's Brides

© 1998 by The Brides of Darkness

**This story cannot be used in any way without written permission