LATEST MIKE NEWS
Please Note: This page will be updated only when I am able to get around to it. If I appear to be a little behind, oh well, deal with it. I'll catch up eventually....
June 24, 2000:
Let us now be whisked away to Calgary for the 2000 NHL Entry Draft. Why is this such a magical land? Because it is a place where the whimsical New York Islanders prance with the coveted NUMBER ONE DRAFT CHOICE! Oh, how fantastical!
In a move widely considered the most important for the Milbury-era Islanders, our Mike proudly escorted new co-owner Sanjay Kumar to the podium to announce their choice - a gaoltender, Rick DiPietro, to make up the very recent trade of Roberto Luongo. So, what's so impressive about this Rick kid? Well, he played for Boston University for starters...we all know how Mike loves those fellow Beantownies. ;-) Four picks later, Mike was up on the stage again letting Sanjay do his dirty work and announce their Number Five pick: Some weird-looking kid with a weird-sounding name. Hell, if he can play, his name can be...Sanjay.
Mike was seen doing some wheeling and dealing with Edmonton GM, Dr. Kevin Lowe, before the festivities. Mike looked kinda disgruntled through the whole thing, so obviously nothing came of those talks. And that was pretty much it. Mike seems HELLA positive now and TRULY believes the Isles are ready to kick some booty. Well, I've been ready for THAT for years! LET'S GET IT ON! :-)~
June 17, 2000:
A year later and another HAPPY BIRTHDAY to The Mikeage! Today he turns 48. Mazel Tov! ;-)
December 20, 1999:
Well, we figured it wouldn't last long, so finally Mike decided "Oops, my bad" and traded Felix Potvin after only having aquired him less than a year ago. And, of course, he got some no-names in return. The Isles are STILL losing, and yet Mike is still disturbingly optimistic...like, bordering on denial. Something tells me that after each game/loss, Mike walks into a bathroom, looks in the mirror, grabs a handful of hair, and in his best rendition of The Bad Seed, forces a smile and repeats "I have a good team! Such a good team! Such a great, wonderful, super team!"
Is Mike finally gonna have The Big One?! STAY TUNED!!
September 17, 1999:
Oh, this again??
Well, training camp for the 1999-2000 season has begun, and the Isles are fixin' to get some new owners. Sounds like good news, right? Maybe not. Rumor has it that if new owners come in, Mike's gonna be shipped out.
I'm sure you're all waiting for me to go on a rampage and stuff, but to tell you the truth, I'm strangely apathetic about it at this point. If you must know, there was a "transaction" that took place over the summer that Mike either master-minded or just simply aided and abetted. It had nothing to do with the Isles, but it affected me personally and directly. I won't go into it, but let's just say Mike being kicked outta Long Island would make up for it in some small way. Oh, I still love Mike and all, but some amends must be made. Sorry, Mike. :-(
June 26, 1999:
Get out the scouting reports and the rabbits feet cuz it's DRAFT DAY! :-D
As mentioned, the Isles came into the draft with the number 5th, 8th, and 10th picks. Word had it that Mike would trade some away, so I sat in front of my TV with my fingers crossed as Gary Bettman announced each new trade. Fortunately, he never mentioned the Isles, and they kept their 3 picks. For some reason, Mike sent up three different guys to announce the picks for him (so, he's shy now all of a sudden??). The 5th pick was a burly-haired young chap named Tim Connolly. The 8th pick was Nelson Pyatt's cute blond son, Taylor. The guy who announced him must have been really excited about the connection because he actually announced him as Nelson Pyatt! Yeah, Mike got a bit of a laugh out of that. Before the 10th pick, Mike spent a lot of time on the phone, but judging from the whimsical expression on his face, I don't think it had anything to do with hockey. Eventually, he did get around to drafting tall, lanky, and blond Branislav Mezei of Slovakia.
After the top ten, Mike did a lot of sitting around and stuff, and the hometown Boston spectators did a lot of booing. When the damn 28th and last pick came around three hours later, Gary Bettman announced that the Dallas Stars had traded their number 28th pick to --- the New York Islanders! So, Mike put his coat back on and finally got his own butt up to the podium to announce big burly (and blond) Kristian Kudroc. Mike seemed very overly excited about this one - it was kinda weird. Oh well.
In all, Mr. Milbury drafted 9 forwards and 5 defensemen. Sounds about right to me! Way to go, Mike! Now let's see if we can keep these young'uns in the system for any period of time. :-/
June 20, 1999:
Uh-oh! Look out! In the words of Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes, "Damn you all to hell! You've done it! You've finally done it!" Yes, Mike has traded the Zigmeister to Los Angeles. Oh, the shame, the shame...
Actually, I'm not all that bent up about it. I knew it was coming anyway. The most surprising thing about this whole situation is the media's reaction to it. I just read an article by our old Nazi friend Larry Brooks in which he writes, "Milbury is not a villain. He deserves respect. He has ours." UUUUUHHHH.....WHA??? :::shaking head in confusion::: I've just gotten whiplash from that smack of fickleness to the face. Yes, it seems that now that Mike has made the BIGGEST and MOST FEARED trade of the last 6 months, um, everyone loves him now. Yeah, I dunno either...
One bright spot in this trade is that it has added the THIRD 1st round 1999 draft pick in the top ten! As it stands now, the Isles will be picking 5th, 8th, and 10th! :-) Yippee!
June 17, 1999:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKE!!
This crazy ol' Gemini turns 47 today...Let's hope he does not mellow out with age. ;-)
April 30, 1999:
The Isles make some BIG changes, and fortunately, none of them have to do with Mike!
Okay, one of them sort of did - Mike and other Isles officials announced yesterday the replacements for both president David Seldin and coach BILL STEWART (WOO-HOOOO!!!). Seldin's replacement is some guy named John Sanders that I've never heard of. But Stewart's replacement is none other than ex-Isles extraordinaire Butch Goring! Let's keep in mind that it was MIKE who hired Goring and ditched Stewart (woo-hoo!). Now, I don't know how in the world John Valenti is going to discredit this move, but it should be interesting and ought to be very creative but will as always be really lame (that is, if he even writes about it under the condition that he can think of something nasty to say - he hasn't written a column as of yet, so maybe he's keeping his mouth shut for a change). I think this is the smartest move Mike has made this year - um, besides trading Salo and Donato of course. And just that fact that it was made official that Mike will remain the Isles GM is the BEST NEWS OF ALL! :-D
April 20, 1999:
People who know me best know that I love to laugh, especially at idiots like John Valenti. As we all know, the Isles ended their highly dismal season with a bang with a 7-2 win over the Pittsburgh Nazis. The day before that game, Valenti wrote in the Fearless Forcast section of his tragically bleak Sporting News Islanders Team Report: "The team will get bombarded by the Pittsburgh Penguins in Saturday's season finale. Don't be surprised if the Penguins score six or more." As Fancourt Babberly says in Charley's Aunt, "Is this the part where we laugh?"
YES!
Proving once and for all that he is the biggest schmuck ever to put pen to paper, Valenti was, obviously, sorely mistaken. And since we all know very well that this dweeb will NEVER admit that he is wrong, it was only appropriate that he should take FIVE DAYS to write his next overly-dramatic and painfully cynical team report. Not only that, the only mention he gave to the game was a simple "the Islanders routed the Pittsburgh Penguins, 7-2, in the season finale at the Igloo in Pittsburgh Saturday."
"Routed?" Try "spanked viciously like naughty little monkey"!! *Sigh* Some day, my back hand and Valenti's doughy face need to make an appointment...
April 18, 1999:
And on a sadder and digressive note, GOODBYE WAYNE!!!
Yes, Wayne Gretzky, The Greatest One, otherwise none as GOD, played his last game today against, fittingly, the Nazis...I mean, the Penguins. He cried, I cried, we all cried, and I wish him well in the future...There will never be another #99. *sniff*
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