MIKE'S MOTS

Mike's words of wisdom, and other tidbits...

"People think there is something wrong with Mike. But there's method in his madness." - Scott Lachance

Mike Milbury has long been notorious for his sarcasm, quick wit, and frequent outbursts of profanity. Every time he opens his mouth, people duck for cover! Here is a collection of just some of the things that Mike has been quoted as saying (accompanied by my personal reaction).

Referring to the Rangers while being interviewed about signing Chris Ferraro:
- "I took the corporate bicycle up and down Long Island to sign this player. Unlike my neighbors, the corporate jet wasn't available."

Wow, that puts some funky images in my mind!

About Ziggy Palffy's agent Paul Kraus:
- "I think the agent is a moron and way in over his head."
-"It's too bad he lives in the city. He's depriving some small village of a pretty good idiot."
-"I get the sense they thought my trip was a ploy. I hope they will be reasonable, but I'm not sure that that word comes into Paul's thinking."
-"We hope that Ziggy will come to his senses. We have no hope Paul Kraus will."

Ouch!

Referring to Travis Green's blind hit on concussion-ridden Kenny Jonsson:
-"He's a gutless puke, that's what bleeping Travis is, that's why he doesn't wear a bleeping Islander uniform anymore. He got overpaid and that's my own bleeping fault."
-"Everyone knows that Travis doesn't exactly have the biggest cajones."

Uhh...no, I didn't know....How does HE know? And what the heck are "cajones" anyway??!

Following a loss to Montreal after the Potvin/Berard trade:
-"Whew. I have to ask: 'Where's the beef?'"

No comment.

When asked what the worst-case scenario would be regarding the team's arena problems:
-"That I don't get paid on the 1st and 15th."

Yeah, that would suck pretty bad..

About team's lackluster play:
-"We were dopey, sleepy. . . . We weren't ready to play."

And I'm Snow White! (heheheh....)

When asked if using defenseman Bryan Berard at left wing in a game was punishment for his frequent roaming into the offensive zone:
-"I hope he didn't take it as a compliment."

Ya never know with these big dumb defensemen...

About the prospect of the owners making him coach and GM again for the 98-99 season:
-"I think slavery went out in the 1860s."

On Ulf Samuelsson:
-"Jerk that he is, he's always wearing that smirking grin that makes you want to punch him in the face."

Sooo...what are you waiting for?

When questioned about the triple rivalry between his team, the Rangers, and New Jersey:
-"Screw the Rangers, and screw the Devils; I work for the Islanders now, and I could care less about them!"

DAY-UM...!

On Eric Fichaud after his NHL debut, a win:
-"He seems to have a competitive type of personality, and he's kinda cute."

Personally, I never really thought so, but whatever puts weight on your Mario, Mike....

About waiting to find out his status w/ the Isles:
-"I can't say that it didn't give me some agita over the last couple of weeks as to how this would play out."

Wow! I thought only us Italians used the word "agita!" Way to go, Mike!

About his own conditioning, in 1987:
-"I'm a 1978 Toyota with 86,000 miles on it, rust spots, and a hole in the floorboard. But hey, I start every morning."

Heheheh....VROOM! VROOM!

When asked what he was going to do to shake things up after a bad home loss:
-"Me, I'm going to have about three vodkas."

Yeah, that'll do it!

About being named Coach of the Year:
-"This isn't microbiology. I've been in the game 16 years and should have figured out something."

He says modestly.... ;-)

On benching underachieving Todd Bertuzzi:
-"He's a big man and big things are expected of him. Every time I saw him (after the benching) he looked like he wanted to punch me in the mouth - which could be a good sign."

For what, a Jerry Springer Show audition??

On waiting for Palffy and Green to show up to camp:
-"I'm trying not to be really annoyed. But you know me. That won't last long."

Yes, and we are eagerly awaiting the big eruption of Mount St. Milbury with much anticipation.

On the signing of goon Eric Cairns:
-"The next time someone whacks Kenny Jonsson, I want someone other than Trevor Linden to drive his head into the boards."

Ooooo...whatta burn!

To a crowd of cynical reporters:
-"Give us a chance!"

When asked about offers for Green from other teams:
-"If I said none, it would be insulting. I don't want to be insulting. It's not my style."

I'm guessing he was smiling as he said this...

On his status for the remainder of the 97-98 season:
-"I'm here for the rest of the season unless I get hit by a truck."

Be careful...you may give John Valenti ideas... >:-/

On the possibility of on-ice friction between him and newly-signed Palffy:
-"This is Ziggy we're talking about. He just got a whopping contract. If anything, he should love me -- more than he already does."

You betcha!

After the Isles pounced the Kings after the Kings pounced them earlier in the season:
-"Payback is a bitch, and we enjoyed it."

Woo-Hoo!!! :::applause:::

Here's a dumb joke about Mike I found on a hockey jokes webpage:

As Mike Milbury's wife was trying on her new fur coat, her friend said to her "Do you realize how much some poor dumb beast had to suffer so you could have that coat?" To which Mrs. Milbury replied, "How dare you speak about my husband like that!"

MiIKE'S ANTICS

Things I would have paid any amount of money to see....

(1) Grabbed a fan who had ridden him unmercifully in his own building, threw him into the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. Mike cursed him all the way up, and the fan just kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

(2) Once climbed into the stands at Madison Square Garden with Peter McNab and Terry O'Reilly and hit a fan with his own shoe!

(3) After a disappointing playoff game, Mike took his Bruins out to dinner, then left the players with the bill! If that wasn't punishment enough, he also checked them into a fleabag hotel!

(4) Once had to be restrained from attacking an organist who kept playing Japanese music as a mock to one of Mike's players, who was of Japanese descent.

(5) Made his Islanders take off their jerseys in practice - because, he said, since they weren't playing like a team, they didn't need to dress like one.

(6) At practice following a horrid Isles game, brought with him a dictionary with several highlighted words. He would read a word and its definition, then drill the team, and then repeat the process.

(7) During an arduous arbitration hearing for goalie Tommy Salo, Mike ripped him to shreds verbally, reducing Tommy to tears!

(8) Took a cue from Jim Schoenfeld's famous quote and told referree Don Koharski during a game against Pittsburgh, "Have another donut, Koho!" (He was subsequently ejected from the game)

"I don't like being mediocre. I won't be."