Beloved Celebrities ...
Hideous Deaths


You knew them, you loved them, you winced when you heard how they died. Here's a little trip down memory lane for ya'. Missing someone? E-mail me and let me know...



 

John Banner                                                                                                                                 
The rotund actor won everyone's heart as that nutty, yet loveable, Nazi, Sgt. Schultz on everyone's favorite concentration camp comedy, "Hogan's Heroes." Who can forget his comedic presence, his steely glare, and his enduring catchphrase "I know No-THING!"
Manner of Hideous Death: Banner died of an abdominal hemorrhage ... on his BIRTHDAY no less ... in 1973.

Bob Crane                                                                                 
Banner's buddy on the "Hogan's Heroes" enjoyed tremendous status as the slick, intelligent and witty Ohio native, Col. Hogan. Kids wanted to grow up to be like him, and women would even sleep with his creepy buddy in sick three-ways in order to be seen with him. With the resurrection of his show on European TV and domestically on Nick at Nite's TVLand, he's as popular as ever.
Manner of Hideous Death: He was clubbed to death in June of 1978, a crime that is officially unsolved. His creepy buddy who ran the camera while he cavorted with women was charged, but never found guilty. Bummer.

Chris Farley                                                                                                                                 
Known as "That Fat Guy" on Saturday Night Live, Farley parlayed his one-trick act into several successful movies, and had aspirations to branch out into drama. He'll always be best known, however,  for his meek, vulnerable spins on loud, obnoxious characters. He followed in the footsteps of his idol, John Belushi, all the way to the grave.
Manner of Hideous Death: Just like Belushi, Farley died of a drug overdose at the age of 33. He was found in his pajama bottoms in a pool of his own vomit just inside the door of his Chicago condominium. Yuck.

Jon-Erik Hexum                                                                                                                     
Hexum is remembered by literally dozens of people as the dumb guy on NBC's ill-fated 80's adventure series "Voyagers." In addition to that work, he was featured on the pages of "Playgirl" magazine, as well as another 80's adventure series, "Cover-Up." He also pioneered the use of double first names, which would in the 90's become the norm for an entire generation of annoying child actors.
Manner of Hideous Death: In one of the dumbest deaths ever recorded, Hexum put a gun filled with blanks up to his temple and pulled the trigger during a break in filming of "Cover-Up." Hey, just cuz it's hideous doesn't mean it can't be kinda funny.

Brian Keith & Anissa Jones                                                                                       
Keith, a longtime character actor, was known to a generation Americans as "Family Affair's" down-to-earth "Uncle Bill," while Anissa's considerably more-abridged career mainly featured playing "Buffy" in that same series. They provided wholesome family viewing for years and years, preserved in present-day reruns.
Manner of Hideous Death(s): Keith died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1997, effectively ending a protracted battle with cancer. Jones didn't even make it out of the 70's, dying of a publicized drug overdose in 1976.

Mr. Ed                                                                                                                                               
In one of the more sleazy episodes of Hollywood history, studio executives paraded another horse around as the authentic "Mr. Ed" for years after the show was nothing but a pleasant memory to millions of adoring fans. Small wonder ... what captures a flight of whimsy quite as much as a talking horse? And the show's jingly-jangly theme song has kept many a person awake all night ... praying for death.
Manner of Hideous Death: The REAL Mr. Ed was put to sleep in 1968, just two years after the show's cancelation. Studio executives claimed the horse was suffering from numerous maladies, including a broken leg. Euthanasia? Or bitter payback for a failed series? YOU be the judge.

Rocket J. Squirrel                                                          
As one half of the most famous comedy duo in television history, "Rocky" brought joy and laughs to generations of American children. His understated brilliance came in the way he played a dubious straightman to partner Bullwinkle's semi-retarded antics. A troubled genius, he found himself typecasted, and was unable to explore the different areas of his talents. Doubts about his sexuality plagued him, and when he and Bullwinkle had their highly-publicized falling out in late 1974, it was about over for him. A one-squirrel play bombed in New York, and he stooped to writing a tell-all book, "BullSh**: My Life with a Moose" in 1976, which cannonballed a planned reunion.
Manner of Hideous Death: Squirrel's lifeless body was found in a New Orleans brothel in November of 1978. Police couldn't determine how long he'd been there, but autopsies indicated massive amounts of cocaine in his system. Bullwinkle wept openly at his funeral.