Things that you would do if you were president:

1. Learn to spell

2. tax loud music

3. offically change Chris's name to Rita

4. appoint the Stevens sisters (to what?)

5. Declare national Bowdish day.

6. Declare English N+1 language

7. Kill all the worthlass stupid people who piss me off!!

8. Have sex with young female white house staff members (add/or interns!)

9. Set aside arenas + make gang wars a national pasttime.

10. Declare every Wednesday South Park Day

11. Have Carman Electra read state of the Union Address in the nude.

12. Annex Sweden as the 51st state of the USA. (because Swedish women kick ass)

13. Federal Jail time for anyone who tries to ban Porn on the Internet.

14. Make Pat's woman the offical symbol of the U.S.

15. Big Mac's for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner.

16. Eliminate every fraternity on the planet (Ha Ha Ha)

17. Have Secret service beat the shit out of Dent in his sleep.

18. Seal the Crack with cement

19. Make Preventas grow the coo back. (It's comming back, Goddammit!!!)

20. Declare war on Canada

21. Deport Brown

22. Change Lane w/ national insanity

23. Take a crap on the White House front lawn, what can they do, impeech ya?

24. Impress the chicks by offering free rides on Air Force One.

25. Answer every other question from the press with "yo mama."

26. Outlaw loud bass.

27. Impose stiff fines and/or jail time for failure to flush public toilets.

28. Plaster the walls of the Oval Office with nude posters of Victoria Silverstedt!

29. Take a vacation.

30. Have the Secert Service secretly (ha!) assassimate annoying people like O.J. and most of Springer's

guests.

31. Order the assassination of Saddam

32. Fake my own assassination

33. Have sex with Jennifer flowers and the White House staff interns

34. Deport people who don't speak Pakistani.

35. Have national Orgie Day

36. Preventas National Faggot Day

37. My Job

38. Give myself a pay raise!!! (if La Tourette can, I can!!!)

39. Give gov. subsidies to women who have breast enlargements

40. Go get drunk 'cause I'm over 21.

41. Make the proper spelling and speaking of the English language MANDATORY understanding for all

high school graduates.

42. Require forced abortions to be performed on preanant genotic trash (stupid people).

43. Renumber the U.S. and interstate highways

44. Iraq

45. Have McLean marry Preventas, then promptly torture + kill McLean

46. Make everyone honor Buster

47. Things just because I can.

48. draw very detailed vaginas on this door!

49. Actually fuck #48

50. Was Florence Nightengale really Preventas?

51. Have Prevenas name his first born son McLean

52. Rename Washington D.C. to Stevens D.C.

53. Reinstate U.S. 466 from Las Veges westward

54. Fart

55. Make a tent

56. Watch Jerry Springer

57. Rob's odor problem

58. (ask the sick FUCK named Andy Arison RM#195 Phone 3-3933) lets see if he has the balls to write it

on his door....

59. Pet #58.

60. Watch Andy Arison play with his own #58

61. I know who's pussy #58 is! (ask Ted Arison RM#195 Phone 3-3933) but he will never tell the truth.

62. Get federal aid to fun therapy for the Arisons

63. Give federal aid to #58

64. Do something that is benefical to the country

65. Nuke ourselves

66. Get impeached in what is later called Bubbagate: "The Prison Incident"