Things that you would do if you were president:
1. Learn to spell
2. tax loud music
3. offically change Chris's name to Rita
4. appoint the Stevens sisters (to what?)
5. Declare national Bowdish day.
6. Declare English N+1 language
7. Kill all the worthlass stupid people who piss me off!!
8. Have sex with young female white house staff members (add/or interns!)
9. Set aside arenas + make gang wars a national pasttime.
10. Declare every Wednesday South Park Day
11. Have Carman Electra read state of the Union Address in the nude.
12. Annex Sweden as the 51st state of the USA. (because Swedish women kick ass)
13. Federal Jail time for anyone who tries to ban Porn on the Internet.
14. Make Pat's woman the offical symbol of the U.S.
15. Big Mac's for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner.
16. Eliminate every fraternity on the planet (Ha Ha Ha)
17. Have Secret service beat the shit out of Dent in his sleep.
18. Seal the Crack with cement
19. Make Preventas grow the coo back. (It's comming back, Goddammit!!!)
20. Declare war on Canada
21. Deport Brown
22. Change Lane w/ national insanity
23. Take a crap on the White House front lawn, what can they do, impeech ya?
24. Impress the chicks by offering free rides on Air Force One.
25. Answer every other question from the press with "yo mama."
26. Outlaw loud bass.
27. Impose stiff fines and/or jail time for failure to flush public toilets.
28. Plaster the walls of the Oval Office with nude posters of Victoria Silverstedt!
29. Take a vacation.
30. Have the Secert Service secretly (ha!) assassimate annoying people like O.J. and most of Springer's
guests.
31. Order the assassination of Saddam
32. Fake my own assassination
33. Have sex with Jennifer flowers and the White House staff interns
34. Deport people who don't speak Pakistani.
35. Have national Orgie Day
36. Preventas National Faggot Day
37. My Job
38. Give myself a pay raise!!! (if La Tourette can, I can!!!)
39. Give gov. subsidies to women who have breast enlargements
40. Go get drunk 'cause I'm over 21.
41. Make the proper spelling and speaking of the English language MANDATORY understanding for all
high school graduates.
42. Require forced abortions to be performed on preanant genotic trash (stupid people).
43. Renumber the U.S. and interstate highways
44. Iraq
45. Have McLean marry Preventas, then promptly torture + kill McLean
46. Make everyone honor Buster
47. Things just because I can.
48. draw very detailed vaginas on this door!
49. Actually fuck #48
50. Was Florence Nightengale really Preventas?
51. Have Prevenas name his first born son McLean
52. Rename Washington D.C. to Stevens D.C.
53. Reinstate U.S. 466 from Las Veges westward
54. Fart
55. Make a tent
56. Watch Jerry Springer
57. Rob's odor problem
58. (ask the sick FUCK named Andy Arison RM#195 Phone 3-3933) lets see if he has the balls to write it
on his door....
59. Pet #58.
60. Watch Andy Arison play with his own #58
61. I know who's pussy #58 is! (ask Ted Arison RM#195 Phone 3-3933) but he will never tell the truth.
62. Get federal aid to fun therapy for the Arisons
63. Give federal aid to #58
64. Do something that is benefical to the country
65. Nuke ourselves
66. Get impeached in what is later called Bubbagate: "The Prison Incident"