Jokes
From the Kids Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? 'cause 7 ate 9.
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Riddles Dakota: "What do you call a sheep with no legs?" Kaitlyn: "I don't know. What do you call a sheep with no legs?" Dakota: "A cloud!"
Q: What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon? A. POP!
Q: Name four members of the cat family. A. Momma cat, Dadda cat and two kittens.
Q: Where does a bird go when it loses its tail? A. The retail store.
Q: How does a Momma beetle carry her little baby beetle? A. In a baby buggy.
Q: How did the praying mantis uncover the caterpillar's secret plans? A. She bugged his phone.
Q: What would happen if a ladybug ever got scared? A. Her eyes would bug out.
Joey: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller? Glenda: I give up. Joey: Flatman and ribbon. Glenda: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be? Joey: I don't know. Glenda: His horse's name was Friday.
Q: Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book? A. Because he wasn't very hungry.
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A. An umbrella.
My teacher asked about The Dead Sea Scrolls. I didn't even know they were ill!
Joey: I lost my dog. Lauren:Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper? Joey: Don't be silly! He can't read
Mom knocked on the door and said, "John, get up! You have to go to school." John said, "Mom, I don't want to go to school and I have 2 good reasons. I'm tired and all the kids make fun of me." Mom replied, "You have to go to school and I'll give you 2 good reasons. You're a grown man and you're the principal!"
Q: What's the difference between a hippopotamus and a piece of paper? A: you can't make a spitball out of a Hippotamus!
Q: What do you get when you mix a rhino and a pit bull? A: A very scared mailman!
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? A: Because he wanted to make up for a boring summer
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get to the shell station
Q: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a Jaguar? A: A car with a big trunk
Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mum ? A: Where's pop corn ?
Q: Why did the balloon burst ? A: Because it saw a lolly pop!
Q What do you call a cat that drinks lemonade? A: Sourpuss!
Q: What do you get when you cross adog and a barn owl? A: Barn Howl!!!!
Q: Where do the ducks go when they are sick? A: To the Ductors.
Q: What is a ringleader? A: The first person in the bathtub.
Q: What goes up and never comes down? A: Your age
Q. When was the cook mean? A.When he beat the eggs.
Q. What does a Cloud where under it's rain coat on a rainy day? A. Thunderware!
Q: Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree? A: It was an AX-ident!
Q: What snake is a great builder? A: Boa constructor!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: Because he had no guts!
Q:Why did the coach go to the bank? A: Because he wanted his quarterback?
Q: Why do witches fly on brooms? A: Because vacuum cleaners are to heavy.
Q:How much does a pirate pay to get hisears pierced?? A: A buck n ear
Q: Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers? A: Because his red ones were in the wash!
Q: What can you put in a empty barrel to make it lighter?? A: A hole
Q: What happened when two frogs tried to eat the same the fly? A: They got tongue tied.
Q: Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because the children have to play inside.
Q:What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom? A: She flies off the handle!
Q. What did the cockroach say to the other cockroach? A. get out of here you bug me!
Three tomatoes went for a walk. A Mama a Papa and a Baby.The Baby was walking behind them the Papa went back and squashed him and said "ketchup!".
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the 'possum it could be done!
Q: What can you serve but not eat? A: A tennis ball.
Q: Where does Dracula get his pencils? A: Pennsylvania! HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an attic? A: Cattic
Q - Why did the chicken cross the road? A - To get to the other side.
Q: What did the carpet say to the floor? A: "You go ahead I'll cover you"
Q: What do you call a box full of ducks? A: A box of 'Quacker' oats.
Q: What does the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: " I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
Q; What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job? A; Canned ham!
Q:Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? A: because it is to cold out tide
Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger and a parrot? A: I don`t know, but when it asks for a cracker, you better give it one!!!!
Q:Why do Thanksgiving Turkeys always turn down dessert?? A: They`re stuffed!!!
After a steamroller whent out of control and rolled through a ranch, the rancher looked at all his squashed cattle and said to a hired hand, "Well, at least we still have music." "Music??" said the hand, scratching his head. "I don't hear any music." "Look around!!!Can`t you see that beef-flat??"
Q: Why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff? A: He didn't have the guts to.
Q: What's taken before you get it? A: Your picture.
Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A woolly jumper (jumper is Australian for sweater).
Q: What does a bird eat for breakfast? A: Shredded Tweet.
Q: What does a pig eat for breakfast? A: Oinkmeal
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't a chicken!!!
Why is Count Dracula considered an Artist? Because he wants to draw blood.
Q. Why did the jet land ? A. Because he did not have the skills to fly
Q: Did you hear that McDonald's bought the Baltimore arena? A: They are calling it the Macarena!!!
Q: How do you start a teddy bear-race? A: Ready teddy go!
Q: Why did the boy spit at the man? A:Because his mustache was on fire.
DAD : Why did you get this "O" on your test?!! SON: Dad, that's not a zero. That is a MOON. The teacher was going to give me a star, but she ran out!
Q:. How do you spell MOUSETRAP with 3 letters? A: C-A-T
Q: What insect gets As in English? A Spelling Bee
Q: What doesn't get any wetter, no matter how much it rains? A: The Ocean V
Q: What eye hurts the most? A Bulls-eye
Q: How does a chicken tell time? A: One O'Cluck, Two O'Cluck, Three O'Cluck....
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