^{THE GREAT STUMPER}

I am an animal, I breathe, but I have no lungs.

If you can answer the riddle that sometimes inhabits this area you will win a cool Net Tip, a link to your hompage on W.E.I.R.D. (as long as it is considered appropriate by the W.E.I.R.D. Council) a MIDI File for your homepage AND a secret prize!

If you think you know the answer, e-mail us at erickj@cybermail.net

1. Zebulon and Xanthan Gum were in a boat. Zebulon fell out. Neither of them wore life preservers or knew how to swim. Xanthan couldn't reach Zebulon even with the oars to help. Xanthan didn't know how to row over to Zebulon. Why didn't Zebulon drown?

2. Beverly Beetlebaum was filling a bathtub for her duck to swim in. The room had been made watertight. Beverly tried to turn off the water, but she turned it the wrong way and the knob came off! She tried the door, but it refused to budge. The water overflowed the bathtub. Since the room was watertight, it just kept filling. It was soon up to her ankles. There was no way out! There was a phone in the room, but she knew that the fire department would never get there in time. The water was now more than halfway up her shins! OH NO! What should she do?

3. Imagine you are driving a car. The steering locks, the brakes fail, the gas tank is full, there is no sunroof, the doors are jammed, the windows won't open, the gas pedal stays down when you take your foot off and to make it worse, you're heading for a cliff! You are an inch from the edge of the cliff. What should you do?

4. Mr. Splurgewenby was taking a shortcut over a narrow train bridge that was 250 feet over a river rapids, when he heard the sound of a loud whistle from behind him. He spun around and saw a train barreling towards him at 70 mph. He wasn't insane and he had no urge to die. Yet, he ran towards the train. Had he run away, he would have surely died. He survied only because he ran at it. Why did he survive?

5. What breaks at the end of the night?

6. Why does a firefighter wear red suspenders?

Riddles 7, 8 and 9 are taken from

7. I never was, am always to be, No one ever saw me, nor ever will And yet I am the confidence of all to live and breathe on this terrestrial ball. What am I?

8. The beginning of eternity The end of time and space The beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I?

9. Runs over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night sits not alone, With long tongue hanging out, A-waiting for a bone.

10. A man lies dead in a puddle of red, two sticks in his hand. How did he get there, and how did he die?

11. What's big enough to fill the whole sky, small enough to squeeze through any hole, and scentless, tasteless, and colorless.

Answers:

1. They weren't in the water.

2. Pull the plug.

3. Stop imagining!

4. He had just gotten on the bridge. So, if he had run away, the train would have overtaken him. But, he was so close to the begining of the bridge that he just had to run off it to get away.

5. The day breaks!

6. You don't know this one?! Oh well, to hold up his/her pants!

7. Tomorrow.

8. The letter "E".

9. A shoe

10. He was sucking a red popsicle when he choked to death.

11. Air. (unless there is alot of pollution. Then the last few facts wouldn't be true.)