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Rick the Super Pig | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
1.Once Upon a Time in a Texas Bar Once upon a time, there was a farmer named John who had a pig called Rock. John used to tell everyone that his pig was a super pig, but no one believed him. However, John was correct; Rick was indeed a Super Pig. |
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One late night, John and his Super Pig went to the famous bar "The Happy Crocodile" in Texas. John asked the bartender for two bottles of beer. The bartender gave the two bottles of beer to the farmer and the pig. stared at the pig for a few seconds, and then tried to ask the farmer something about the pig. The farmer, however, was so proud of his pig that he didn't even listen to what the bartender had to ask and said: "My pig is the bravest pig in the world, you'll be amazed when you'll hear what he did today!" |
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2.The Bravest Pig in the World John's story continued: "Rick is the braves pig in the world, believe me! Today, he saved my sheep from beeing eaten by the big bad wolf. You should bave seen the look on that wolf's face when he saw my pig coming towards him and beating the hell out of him. He also saved twenty-five people from an airplane that was going to crash to the ground. My Super Pig was there, in time! He put his magic wings on, flew to the airplane, and helped the metallic, endangered bird to land softly and undamaged." |
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After John finished his story he asked for more beer for Rick and for himself. This time, the bartender tried again to ask the farmer his question about the pig, but, again, the farmer started telling the bartender something more about his pig. This time, John got carried away. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 The Most Athletic Pig on the Planet Farmer John continued his story about how athletic his pig was. The bartender was kind of bored but he listened to what the farmer siad; "My pig is the most athletic pig in the world. He can play any game. He is good at all of them, including Flying on Maple Leaves. When he was two years old he started watching sports on TV. By the time he was five he watched TV all night and day. He watched nothing but sports. By the time he was seven he really got into sports. He started playing football, basketball, hockey, golf, and many more. Next year he was in gymnastics, after that he played polo at the Olympic Games. It is hard to believe, dear bartender, but last year Rick won every possible gold medal on this planet." |
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The farmer continued his story but soon he stopped when he realized that Rick did not have any more beer and that he was ready to go crazy for getting more of that good beer. The farmer asked the bartender for two more beers and just like before, the bartender tried again to ask his question but again, the farmer cut him off quickly. |
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4. The Most Musical Pig on the Planet John went on with his story: "My pig is the most musical pig in the world! He plays the piano everyday. Did you ever hear Rick playing Mozart and Chopin? He is really marvelous! He plays the violin too, and is truly outstanding when it comes to play Diabelli and Bach. He also likes guitars, and he is a member pf erased Heads, the hottest rock group in LA. Have you ever been to one of his concerts?" |
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"No, no, no, and no!" said the bartender red faced. "I have never been to a pig concert before and I can tell you that I never ever will go to one. Look Mr John: you interrupted me three times today and I'm getting sick about it. I just want to know why your Super Pig has only three legs?" At which, the farmer said, "Let me tell you his story!" |
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5. The Truth about Rick's Missing Leg With an incredibly sad voice, John the farmer spoke: "Two months ago my Rick met Bunny the Rabbit. Bunny, a mediocre piano player, said that he never heard about Rick's musical performances and, besides, he said Rick is a coward. Rick couldn't stand it and he provoked Bunny to a Wrestling match. Unfortunately, Bunny not only won but also broke Rick's leg. This is what happened!" And John, very saddened, continued: "Two more beers, please..." |
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