Poem Page ~My Last Night~ I look out of my window and ponder all the ways that I can change my life throughout all of my days Then a thought comes to mind of an easy way out many fear this thought while others don't have a doubt This thought has one true meaning this thought is suicide this thought is scary yet... this thought is world wide What has come upon me? why do I feel this way? I need some way out but is this the game to play? I look around my room and think a real long time listening to the deep silence I wonder if this is a crime A crime to take one's life a crime that's hard to bear a crime hard to commit a crime that isn't fair What will happen when I die? what will people think? No one truly knows my life has many cinks Iknow the one's I care about will get upset and cry I just hope that they know I don't want to live, but die More and more questions come to mind and completely fill the air but I honestly must say I really do not care It has come to a point as I stand here with a knife it is time to chose... either death or life As I stare at my wrists the sweat drips from my brow the clock strikes twelve I must decide now A knock is heard at my door who could this be? Whoever it is they won't stop me I hide the knife behind my back as a figure comes to the door it grabs me as we both fall onto the floor I felt a trickle of something wet was this his blood or mine? I turned on the bright light and noticed the blood's his not mine Panic ran through my veins as I turned off the light what was I gonna do? the night of all nights! I drug the body into the hall and stared at the figures face I didn't recognize him but there was a name tag in it's place And what is this I see? Oh no this can not be! he is from the insane isalem He was here to get me! I wrapped the body in a sheet and took it outside now all i have to do is find a place to hide Wait, what am I hiding for? what did I do wrong? I have to go back to my room to end this night, it's already too long I ran into my room and quickly locked the door I closed all the blinds, even scanned the floor I took the knife and ran my finger across the blade watchign theblood dripped from my finger tip I realized the memories will never fade I said to myself "It is time" to purify my body and procede with this "crime" The slits weren't painful to my suprise as the blood streamed out I then realized I realized something most don't know yet, something I can't say you will not understand until you have your day My body is relaxed as everything gets dark I just hope and pray that I have left a mark A mark for the world to see that life can still go on I know it is too late for me and I know my life is almost gone Please forgive me for what I had done Please realize that you... the reader of this poem can have your life re-newed. PLEASE.... learn from my mistake REALIZE... a life is something too valueble to take         ~GLITTER GIRL~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Without You~ I sit here and watch the leaves on the bushes move. thinking of how nice it would be to be with you. I sit here and ponder "what would happen if you were gone" "How would I live. How would your friends live without you" These things went through my mind when I though about what you said what you said about killing yourself. The every day things that I really don't notice I notice now. The things that you would miss if you left. The joy of going out to the mall or just sitting chatting. These things would mean nothing to me without you. Without you, my life would be nothing. No joy, No happiness, and No love. Even if the sun was nice and bright and cheery, to me it would still be gloomy and dull and raining. Everything would be black and dull and lifeless. Without a friend like you to look out for me The way that you do life as I know it would be dead. Please If you are thinking about suicide talk to someone.  even if it just someone from a service.  You could save someone from these feelings and save your life at the same time. {Precious}@--}--- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Love~ I look at you and I can't imagine life with out you. when you not around I feel like there is a big whole in my heart. When I see you the whole fills with love. When I am not near you or able to talk to you, my head fills with thoughts of you. I think about you, me, us. I think about us together, holding hands, kissing, making love. There isn't anything I haven't thought of you, me or us together doing. I see stars and fireworks when I kiss you I imagine what I see when I will make love to you. My day fills with joys and happiness when I am with you. When you leave my day fills with lonelyness and sorrow. I can't imagine my life going on with out you. and at the same time I can't imagine being with you my whole life. and at that moment I am stumpted I don't what to do. whether to dup you or stay with you either way I am stumpted. {Precious}@--}--- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -Torn- I love you or so I think. I think about you all the time. I think about him all the time. is it wrong to have these feelings? Is it wrong to feel what I feel for two men? I sit and think. what if I go to him what would be left of us. would you be here when I came back? or would you leave? I feel like someone ripped out my heart becuz I don't deserve it I made two men feel like crap like they are not wanted but they are do they know that? Do I enjoy this? of course not. I love these men. Do I really? I dunno I am so so confused that everything seems unreal. not human. these things I am feeling are they bad are they good or are they something god throws at you to see if you can handle it. or to make you stronger. these are things that we will never know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I could never be her; I could never be what you wanted me to When I didn't know what that was. I could never ask you to love me, But I could never ask you to hurt me. I could never live up to your expectations I could never live up to mine. I could never make your kissed seem anyless important Or turn your back time and make that day disappear. I could never put a leash on my heart and because of that A part of me has died. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sit here Listening to the cars and trains moce ethereally outside My cigarette comforts me How do I wish it was you instead Doubt and worry seep into my mind And tears come to my eyes Oh, how easily I fall apart Don't touch me-I will break But how I want you too... Do not touch me if you will not be there to help me pick up the pieces My heart is so fagil- labeled 'handle with care' so many have ignored that so many have made my heart ache I have a burning inside Help me put it put it out THe night comfort me yet seems to hurt me at the same time   Be my friend - be more then that Kiss me and make the pain slip away Hold me through the good and the bad If only you could I feel so alone....... without you ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    Oh my friend Where have you gone? I look for you, Wait for the sound of you voice... It's never there... The freedon of befriending whoever I may choose So wonderful yet causeing so much pain... You care for him so much I care for you so much more... You mean the world to me Yet I've lost a part of you Never to return... Where are you? The song says to me "Hold on to yourself, This is gonna hurt like hell" And it does... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's when you look into someone's eyes And you see yourself capable of looking there forever; or when you kiss their lips and you think them to be the most luscious pair You'd ever watn yours to caress; It could even be when You touch their skin, and No matter what it's like, To you, it feels like silk. Thats when you know. You know that's who you want to have thei arms around you; It's who you're dying to share Every little detail of you life with; That's the one person who can make Everything right with one touch; The one who will be saying 'I love you' For eternity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have you ever leaned close to me and noticed the way my yes crinkle around the edges when I smile? or how my nose moves when I laugh? Have you ever asked me a question just to be close enough to smell me? Did you ever secretly watch me as I slept Taking note of my pattern of breath? or perhaps the slow rise and fall of my chest? Have you ever wanted to run you finger down from the rop of my face and along the gentle slope of my neck? And taki in each part of me that you felt? Don't be afraid to do this. Journey along the physical to find what's inside. I will give myself for you to learn. Do not hold back for I want you to know me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    I love you not for what I want you to be but for what you are I loved you then For what you were I love you now for what you have become I miss you and not only you I what I am When you are here... - Leonard Nimony ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What is a friend? Many ask exactly is a friend? A friend always has a heart to lend They are always there for you. And rescue you from being blue. They're sad when you're sad and mad when you're mad. A friend is someone you'll always remember; Year after Year, January through December. Friendship is the key to sucess. It is truly something God has blessed. A friend is someone who makes you feel secure. A friend showers you with love in galore A friend knows you from the inside out. And will come to your aid in a single shout. There is only one word for a someone with these qualilties And that sole word is a..................friend  ~Glitter Girl~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Softly, through the years of tears, yesterdays whisper they're gone. Dimly, though a mist of fears, tomorrow's promise lures him on. Somewhere by in a cloud-tossed sky calls a lonesome mourning dove. Chill winds cry and tell a tale of years of discontent; and a young man strives to rend a veil that plainly can't be rent. Downcast, he pales, while banshees wail and he visits where pain lies pent. And somewhere by in a cloud-gray sky keens a lonesome mourning dove. No art he commands can breach the wall that always obscures his sight. Tomorrow, though he gives his all, remains dark as ink-stained night. But yesterdays stay plain and clear though he prays with all his might. Still, somewhere by in a cloud-hung sky laments a lonesome mourning dove. [The Forgotten One] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A TITAN CAN I BE There is a girl,   Someone for me, The one that will   Set my heart free. And in a sea of thousands,   You alone can I see, Only with your love,   A titan can I be. I seek your charm,   Your beauty, your grace, In my dreams alone,   I may caress your tender face. Love truly can reign in me,   For you, a beautiful dove, Fallen from the heights of heaven,   Only you I will forever love. Your eyes lore me in like a raging trap   Which no man can resist, Their beauty compares to diamonds,   I see them through the mist. I've fallen head first in my own dreams,   Where you stay until I sleep again, Only in my thoughts may I speak to you,   When did this madness all begin. I wish I could turn back the clock of my life   To the day we first made contact, If I could risk it all for one day, one hour with you,   I would gladly but reluctantly sign that contract. You must understand, I only mean good, No harm or depravation did I intend, You alone can make my soul take flight, Nothing can brake the silence of a soft candle light. [The Forgotten One] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Paradox       by Benjamin "Jamm" L. Villanueva   Life, as described, is all happiness;   Contradicting the fact, there is something else.   The sight of poverty is rarely brought   To the mind of a joyful man when everything's bought.   War, they say, is just a mere misunderstanding,   But to the eyes of the youth, it is the most devastating.   Like a child, soldiers play guns   Until they realize their days are gone.   This worn out world has a filthy reality:   Nuclear tests, money, and the villainy   Of men with greed no God to proclaim;   They are all subject to their earthly aim.   The ozone we preserve is no longer alive;   Trees are almost gone, and now we are deprived.   The longing for progress is a vain intuition   For without a stepstool, the program's a destruction.   Peace was once freedom, but now a false regime   Of corrupt gunlords and pure illegal gambling;   The system of justice, just a method of business   Of paid lawyers with habits of nonsense.   When can the triumph be for the deserving?   Honesty is not even a thing in this living.   The promises they had are the reverse of the present,   Lest the ruling confusion of man is finally ended.   But despite the chaos and all the troubles,   There is an Overseer who has purposed these all.   The future he holds is the future I follow.   There is peace amidst sorrow and a glorious tomorrow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Everyday i've learned from you..   when your soul has caught my eye..   I would gaze and stare, and deeply search,   for answers to how and why...   And now i walk this confusion filled earth..   with new knowledge that i have found..   and its to you i thank for the making sense,   of a shaky unstable ground...                   Author: UNKNOWN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~