A
The buses that they give us
They say their mighty fine
But when they turn a corner
They leave their wheels behind
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The councilors that they give us
They say their mighty fine
But without their make-up
They look like Frankinstein
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The food that they give us
They say it's mighty fine
But a doughnut rolled of the table
And killed a friend of mine
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The lifeguards that they give us
They say their mighty fine
But when your in the water
Your life is worth a dime
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The water that they give
They say it’s mighty fine
But it looks like dirty water
And tastes like turpentine
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The nurses that they give you
They say they’re mighty fine
But when you come in dying
They sit on their behind
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The lats that they give you
They say they’re mighty fine
But when you sit upon them
The bugs are right behind
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The beds that they give you
They say are mighty fine
But when you lay upon them
You break your little spine
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The spagetti that they give you,
They say it's mighty fine
But they rinse it in the toilet
And drain it on the line
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The chicken that they give you
They say it's mighty fine
But once two drumsticks got up
And started beating time
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The cocoa that they serve you
They say is mighty fine
But it's good for cuts and bruises
And it tastes like iodine
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The tents that you sleep in
They say are mighty fine
But whoever said that
Has never slept in mine
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The bug spray that they give you
They say it's might fine
But when you spray it on you
The bugs all wait in line
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What were you doing,
Henry my son?
What were you doing,
My beloved one?
Eating dear Mother, Eating dear Mother,
Oh Mother come quick
cause I'm very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
What were you eating,
Henry my son?
What were you eating,
My pretty one?
Eels, dear Mother,
Eels, dear Mother,
Oh Mother, come quick
cause I'm very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
What color were they,
Henry my son?
What color were they,
My beloved one?
Green and Yellow,
Green and Yellow,
Oh Mother come quick
cause I'm very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
Those were not eels you ate
Henry my son,
Those were not eels you ate,
My beloved one.
What then?, dear Mother,
What then?, dear Mother,
Oh Mother come quick
cause I very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
Those were snakes you ate
Henry my son
Those were snakes you ate
My beloved one
Ewww!, dear mother
Ewww!, dear mother
Oh Mother come quick
cause I very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
Shall we bury you
Henry, my son
Shall we bury you,
My beloved one
Yes, dear mother, yes, dear mother
Oh Mother come quick
cause I very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
What color of flowers do you want,
Henry my son?
What color of flowers do you want,
My beloved one?
Green and Yellow,
Green and Yellow,
Oh Mother come quick
cause I'm very, very sick
and I wanna lay down and die.
And there was mama, and there was papa, and there was brother, and there was sister.
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this ... big.
But anyway,
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And there was mama, and there was papa, and there was brother, but where was sister?
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this .... big.
That makes me so ANGRY!
But anyway,
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And there was mama, and there was papa, but where was brother?
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this ..... big.
That makes me so ANGRY!
But anyway,
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And there was mama, but where was papa?
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this ...... big.
That makes me so ANGRY!
But anyway,
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But where was mama?
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this ....... big.
That makes me so ANGRY!
But anyway,
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And there was Hermie, the family pet and he let out the most disgusting, repulsive, grossest belch. BURP!
And there was mama, and there was papa, and there was brother, and there was sister.
And there was Hermie, the family pet and he was this ... big
Mama jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws (bend your hands at the wrist and make medium jaws)
Mama jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws
Papa jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws (bend arms at the elbow and make big jaws)
Papa jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws
Grampa jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws (bend hands at wrists and curl fingers in to make a toothless mouth)
Grampa jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws
Lady swim, swim, swim, swim, swim (do the front crawl)
Lady swim, swim, swim, swim, swim
See the shark, "Eek, eek, eek, eek!" (throw your hands up)
See the shark, "Eek, eek, eek, eek!"
Shark attack: Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh (shake body violently)
Shark attack: Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh
Swim away, "Yum, yum, yum, yum" (rub your belly and lick your lips)
Swim away, "Yum, yum, yum, yum"
Karami-Aki go Linstead market; not a quaddy would sell
Karami-Aki go Linstead market; not a quaddy would sell
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All the people go feel 'em, feel 'em; not a quaddy would sell
All the people go feel 'em, feel 'em; not a quaddy would sell
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Hit me mama, don't beat me, hit me; not a quaddy would sell
Hit me mama, don't beat me, hit me; not a quaddy would sell
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All the children go lingo, lingo; not a quaddy would sell
All the children go lingo, lingo; not a quaddy would sell
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Hello, operator.
Please give me number 9
And if you disconnect me
I will chop off your...
Behind the 'frigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susy sat upon it
And cut her little...
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping down their...
Flies are in the meadow
And bees are in their hives
The boys and girls are kissing
In the D A R K, D A R K, D A R K
Dark, dark, dark
The dark is like the movies
The movies is like the show
The show is like t.v.
And that is all I know, I know
I know, I know my mother
I know, I know my pa
I know, I know my sister
With the forty acre bra
One day, while I was riding on the subway
My big-a-tall hat; It looka like that
I placed it on the seat beside me
My big-a-tall hat; It looka like that
A big a fat a lady came and sat upon it
My big-a-tall hat; It looka like that
A big a fat a lady came and sat upon it
My big-a-tall hat; It looka like that
Christopher Columbus, now what do you think of that?
A big a fat a lady she sat upon my hat, my hat
She broke, it was no joke, my hat she broke, it was no joke
Christopher Columbus, now what do you think of that?
My hat!
I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot
And I wear my flannel nighty in the winter when it's not
And sometimes in the spingtime and the fall
I jump beneath the covers with nothing on at all
Glory, glory hallelujah
Glory, glory what's it to ya?
Balmy breezes blowin' right through ya
With nothing on at all!
Ding Dong, Ding, Dong
Wedding bells on an April morn
Carve you name on a moss covered stone
On a moss covered stone
Mother, Father dig my grave
Dig it with a golden spade
Send two friends and a turtle dove
To say that I died for love
Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose
Will I ever see thee dead?
I will kill you at thy will sire
At thy will
Ding Dong, Ding Dong
Funeral bells on a September morn
Carve your name on a grave stone
On a grave stone
Oh, they built the ship Titanic to sail the ocean blue
And they thought they built a ship that the water wouldn’t go through
So the good Lord raised his hand and said that ship would never stand
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Oh they were not far from England and they were not far from shore
When the rich refused to associate with the poor
So they put them down below where they were the first to go
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Oh, they put the lifeboats out on the cold and crule sea
As the band struck up “Oh, Near my God to Thee”
Little children wept and cried as the waves swept over the side
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Oh the mighty ship went under, the mighty ship went down
All the men and the women and the children all did drown
The captain climbed the mast, they saw him standing last
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The moral of this story as you can plainly see
Is to wear a life preserver and never go out to sea
The Titanic never made it across the ocean blue, ooooo!
Oh it was sad when the great ship went down!
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Oh, they built another ship and they called it Mary Lou
And the top was pink and the bottom it was blue
And they christened her with beer as she sank right off the pier
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
You were so big and green and fat
But now you're small and red and flat.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see that car ahead
And you were flattened by the tread.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
You did not look from East to West
Now on the road there's such a mess.
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
You thought you'd beat that bus across
Now you look like a pile of moss.
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Across the yellow line you strayed,
The truck hit you - like a grenade!
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
You didn't look as you jumped out,
A ten-ton truck ran up your snout!
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
In the air you'd quickly speed,
An eighteen-wheeler made you bleed.
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Out in the lane you boldly went,
Now your bod's not worth a cent!
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Out on the road you quickly jumped,
You didn't count on getting bumped.
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Along the road you swooped and flapped,
But a trucker's windshield got you zapped!
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
In the road you thought you'd travel,
Now you're ground into the gravel.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
Oh, Tom the toad, oh, Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road
You used to be so good and cautious,
But now you just make me nauseous.
Oh, Tom the toad, oh, Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road
Oh, Tom the toad, oh, Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road
You used to be so big and sweet,
But now you're just coyote meat
Oh, Tom the toad, oh, Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road
He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar, smoked his cigar,
smoked his cigar
He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar
Smoked his cigar
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
He said that he loved her but oh how he lied, oh how he lied, oh
how he lied
He said that he loved her but oh how he lied
Oh how he lied
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
They were to be married but somehow she died, somehow she died,
somehow she died
They were to be married but somehow she died
Somehow she died
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
He went to her funeral but just for the ride (beep-beep), just
for the ride (beep-beep), just for ride (beep-beep)
He went to her funeral but just for the ride (beep-beep)
Just for the ride (beep-beep)
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
He sat on her tombstone and laughed till he cried, laughed till
he cried, laughed till he cried
He sat on her tombstone and laughed till he cried, laughed till
he cried
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
The tombstone fell over and squish-squash he died, squish-squash
he died, squish-squash he died
The tombstone fell over and squish-squash he died
Squish-squash he died
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
She flew up above him and flittered and flyed, flittered and flyed, flittered and flyed
She flew up above him and flittered and flyed
Flittered and flyed
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
He went down below her and sizzled and fried, sizzled and fried,
sizzled and fried
He down below her and sizzled and fried
Sizzled and fried
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, pluck
The moral of this is never to lie, never to lie, never to lie
The moral of this is never to lie
Never to lie
Um plucky, plucky, um plucky, plucky, um pluck, pluck, plink!
When I was just a wee-wee tot
They took me off my wee-wee cot
And put me on my wee-wee pot
To see if I could wee or not
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And when the saw that I could not
They took me off my wee-wee pot
And put me on my wee-wee cot
And then I gave it ALL I GOT!
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