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WHAT?

Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: He didn't want any advice.

Q: How many Zen Monks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - 1 to do it and 1 not to do it.

Q. What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A. They both have the same middle name – THE

 Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshippers?
A. They sold their souls to Santa.

 

Miracles Abound

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the minister's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the minister.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The minister looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

 

Say What?

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.

"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such a Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."