I
keep on praying but nothing is granted.
I
keep on begging, still misery I am handed.
I
keep on shouting; Dear Lord, please don’t ignore.
Please
take my anger, cure it from the core.
And
I keep crying as the hours are flying.
But
nothing does matter, the Lord is implying.
Then
I start to wail and I start to scream:
“Thought
you would restore me, thought you would redeem?”
But
the great Lord tunes a deaf ear
as
He shows me much more of my fear.
I
have no choice but panic,
a
feeling makes my heart sick.
The
Lord seems to be saying
“Come
on, I am not done playing.”
But
I want to give up, to throw in the towel.
Yet
the Lord is laughing: “I won’t show you how.”
I
claim “You’d help me, that’s in your promise.”
The
Lord is silent and blows me air kisses.
“I
am weary and tired”, I’m starting to whine,
“Got
no more patient, I’m running out of time.
Spreading
real thin, I can’t handle the pressure.”
The
Lord looks away and gives me no gesture.
My
tears start to roll as I stare into space
trying to dream up my daughter’s sweet face.
Searching for comfort deep in my own mind.
Can’t
gather the pieces, my thought seems to be blind.
Looking
for mother’s hug when I was an infant
or
my wife’s loving touch, so soft and elegant.
Yet
a loud voice startles me “IT’S HELL!!!”
to
remind me I am condemned and I’m still in jail.
Huu
Cao
07/29/02
“in the hole”