How can I miss you if you never go away?

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up

Few women admit their age, even fewer men act theirs.

Oh, wait, sorry, I didn't mean to look interested.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.

You can only be young once, but you can be immature FOREVER!

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson

"When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other." --Rita Rudner

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

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