Barts Crank Calls to Moe 7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening) 7G03 (Homer's Odyssey) 7G06 (Moaning Lisa) 7F11 (One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish) 7F15 (Principal Charming) 7F22 (Blood Feud) 8F02 (Treehouse of Horror II) 8F08 (Flaming Moe's) 8F09 (Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk) 9F06 (New Kid on the Block) 9F06 (New Kid on the Block) 2F19 (The PTA Disbands) I have no episode information for this one. (anyone?) By
Alejandro Gil Lopez My Home Page |
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Most of the quotes are laid out as follows
7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
as Moe calls for the person
who said what
usually everybody in the bar laughs
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Moe: "Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
wait a minute...
listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass,
if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you! "
Bart and Lisa laugh
alcoholic.wav
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Moe: "Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!"
Marge picks up the extension and hears:
Moe:"Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you,
I swear I'll cut your belly open!"
oliverclothesoff.wav
Bart with Lisa
Moe: "Uh, I.P. Freely? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
wait a minute...
listen to me you lousy bum,
When I get a hold of you, you're dead.
I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!"
Bart and Lisa laugh
Bart with Lisa
Moe: "Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap...
it's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt?
When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"
Bart laughs.
Bart with Lisa
Moe: "Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz?
Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
Oh, wait a minute...
listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket!
When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!"
Bart and Lisa laugh.
Bart (in Principal Skinner's office)
Moe: "Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on,
one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!"
Homer" "Don't look at me!"
Moe: "Oh, no...
you rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you,
I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!"
Skinner:(on the other end of the line)
"You'll do what, young man?"
Moe: "Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you,
and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!"
Bart with Mrs. Krabappel and one of the Sherri/Terri twins
Moe: "Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt
and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
Oh, wait a minute..."
Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then laughs as well.
Bart
Moe: "Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!"
There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's; he takes the call.
hughjass.wav
Bart
Moe: "Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?:"
Barney: "You sure do!"
Moe: "Oh...it's you, isn't it?
Listen, you,
when I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket
and paint my house with your brains!"
Bart laughs.
boproblem.wav
threat.wav
Bart
Moe: "Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss!
Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?"
Barney: "Maybe your standards are too high!"
Moe: "You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are,
I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat
and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
amandahugginkiss.wav
Laura Powers with Bart
Moe: "Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tankle? All right, everybody,
put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!"
Laura and Bart laugh.
ivanatinkle.wav
This isn't at Moe's; Moe is taking over as the substitute teacher
for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike.
Moe:"OK, when I call your name, uh, you say 'present' or 'here'.
Er, no, say 'present'. Ahem, Anita Bath?"
The students in the classroom laugh.
Moe:"All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?"
More laughs.
Moe:"All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks?"
Still more laughs.
Moe:"Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it.
It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!"
Moe runs out of the classroom crying
as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now
former substitute teachers.
Thanks Simon Yung, for emailing me some episode info!!
Mr. Burns wants to call Smithers (who is on vacation).
He dials S-m-i-t-h-e-r-s, and reaches Moe's Tavern.
Moe thinks it is a prank call when Mr. Burns asks for Smithers.
Moe issues this threat:
Moe:"Listen to me, you...when I catch you I'm gonna
put out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants, so
you can watch me kick the crap out of you.
OK? then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
If anyone has the URL where these came from
please email me so I may ask for permission
to have these listed on my page
Thanks
Anyone who has the complete wavs to these calls
I would really appreciate hearing from you
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