LITTLE JACK HORNER
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie.(He obviously wasn't allowed at the table.)He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum.(He obviously never heard of a fork.)and said,"What a good boy am I?(Liar! If he had been good, he wouldn't have had to sit in the corner.)
MORAL:Wash your hands before every meal.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet(that's like an ottoman or a footstool)eating her curds and whey.(That's cottage cheese.)Along came a spider who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.(O.K. So lots of people suffer from arachnophobia.)
MORAL:Don't sit near spider webs.
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty had a great fall.(How can you have a great fall? I think they're pretty awful myself.) All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. (I'm sure the men tried, but the horses? Besides what was Humpty Dumpty doing on the wall in the first place?)
MORAL:Be careful where you sit.
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown.(That's his head)and Jill came tumbling after.(Obviously she wasn't looking where she was walking either.)
MORAL: Don't cry over spilled water.
LITTLE BOY BLUE
Little Boy Blue come blow your horn. The sheep's in the meadow: the cows's in the corn. Where is the little boy who looks after the sheep? Under the haystack fast asleep.(What's with the horn? That won't get cows back to the barn. If he isn't smothered or sneezing his head off from sleeping under the hay, that kid better get up before he loses all his livestock.)
MORAL: Sleeping employees don't get to count sheep.
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them.( Duh! If they're lost, of course she can't find them.)Leave them alone and they'll come home wagging their tails behind them.(If she hadn't left them alone in the first place they wouldn't be lost. She better look for them. As for their tails, where else would they be?)
MORAL: Sometimes it helps to have the wool in front of your eyes.
OLD KING COLE
Old King Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he.(That's redundant.)He called for his pipe,and he called for his bowl, and he called for his fiddlers three.(Do we know who he was calling? Did he ever get them? Why didn't he get them himself?)
MORAL: Smoking is hazardous to your heath, but after dinner music is fit for a king.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK
Hickory Dickory Dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and down he run. Hickory Dickory Dock.(Nice ryhme, but very bad grammar.)
MORAL: Always keep a spare mousetrap in the house.
