Client:  Yes I have a car.  But it doesn't work.  It was a great car - a Holden HJ but the motor's gone.

Officer: Yeah, I had a great car like that...

Client:  (almost interrupting) I have to do some work on the gear box, and brakes too.

Officer: Let's see now, your appointment is for next Tuesday, at 10:30am

Client:  Yes I know - I also have a problem with my back.

Officer: With Margot on the 13th of June.

Client:  Yes I know... (thoughtful pause)  I think they should make Euthanasia legal.  You just get to a point when you have had enough of this problem and then that, and I think you should be able to commit Euthanasia. (Client looks at the Officer, who responds by looking at the computer and typing faster, more quietly now.)

Officer: Margot will be able to talk to you about looking for a job, what you will need to do...

Client:  (Interrupting again) You know, I tried to do it recently.

Officer: Yes?

Client:  I hooked up the hose pipe to the exhaust and got in my car, but the car wouldn't start (looks calmly ahead at the worker)

Officer: Oh! Well, just come on Tuesday at 10.30 and Margot will help you with all your questions.

Client:  (A little surprised) Oh! O.K. Well... goodbye!

Officer: Yes, there's the door now.

Client:  You know, I feel better when I take my tablets.

Officer: Goodbye.

Client:  But I forgot today.
 
 

The Social Security officer continues typing and says nothing.  Suddenly the client is gone; seeing this the officer gets up and goes over to his supervisor.
 
 

Officer: Jenny, I, er.. think that was the client you asked me about this morning.

Supervisor: (tensely) Which client?  What are you talking about? (going to the reception)
There's no one here!

Officer: No - he just walked out.
 
 

Unknown to the officer the client has just come straight back in during his talk with the supervisor, and sat down behind a display board where the officers can't see him.
 
 

Supervisor: What are you talking about??

Officer: you asked me this morning to look out for a client when he came in, you know...

Supervisor: What are you talking about?? What client?!!?

Officer: The, the... SCHIZOPHRENIC MAN. (looking up, the officer suddenly sees  the client and guesses that he probably has heard everything.  The officer looks a little pale).

Supervisor: Oh THAT one. (pointing a bony finger covered in wrinkles in the direction
of the client, and in a loud voice, almost shouting) CAN YOU COME OVER HERE?

Client:  Hello.

Supervisor: Here Mr... (looks at computer screen) Smith... Do you have an appointment?

Officer: He's ... I gave him an appointment for Tuesday with Margot.

Supervisor: Well that's o.k. then (briskly). Good, you can go now. (Client walks out again).

Officer: (to supervisor) But he was trying to kill himself... with a hosepipe!
 

THE END