"I am a dude."

name: Heath Bergensen. aka. Rubetubes, Rubes, Rubins, or Stud Muffin.

dude factor: 100%

screening on: Channel Ten's Breakers 3:30pm & 11:30pm weeknights.

traits: DUDE (nothing more nothing less).

We at Big Boy Sconestm feel that a Dudetm comes along, but once in a life time...

As pro dudes ourselves, we can smell true quality dudenesstm a mile away.

In this case Heath Bergensen has not only passed the painstaking task of being a dude,

He has given hope to you fucking losers who hope to some day become dudes.

So in our infinite wisdom we suggest that you watch Breakers, and worship at the

almighty dudeness that Rubetubes displays every time he takes center stage baby!!!

note: We really are wankers, we have no life, we are fat, and we site on our fat asses and do this day in and day out. Also we eat chips and gravy and i smell when I sit down for too long. And remember, we own the rights to the word "dude" so every time you say it, you owe us money you turkeys!!! Oh jeah!!! Channel Seven sucks big time. If you watch it, you are part of mainstream Australia, and you don't have an original thought in that puny brain of yours. Your favourite celebrity is Bruce McAvany or Denise Drysdale, and you love Live & Kicking, and Blue Heelers. We have five words for you: Get A Life!!!... (Channel Seven will probably steal our ideas and you'll soon be seeing the Big Boy Scones hour starring Denise and Alf from Home and Away. If this ever occurs we will come 'round your house put blow up chickens on your doorstep, ring the doorbell and run away. And there's nothing you can do about it baby!!! Belinda Carlisle RULES! so does Philip Glasp. Fill in your "Dude of The Year" application forms at this e-mail address: bbs9@yahoo.com that'll do... seeya.