~In Loving Memory~
Crystal "Judson" Brame
April 24th ,1968 - May 3rd, 2003
Read the entire story here
This tragedy has devastated her family and friends
and has shook up the entire community of Tacoma, WA.
If you need help or know
somebody that does
please visit the link below.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Website
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Domestic violence always seemed like such a far away problem, one that
never would touch my life. I never dreamed that someone that I love and that has
been a friend to me practically my whole life would loose her life to this.
I can't remember my childhood without Crystal in it. We became
very best friends in Kindergarten and stayed that way all through our elementary school
years. She lived just around the block from me and I spent a great deal of time at
her house playing Barbie's with Crystal and her sister Julie. Her dad built the best
Barbie house ever and we spent hours playing with it. I had to move about an hour
and a half away in the middle of our 6th grade year. I remember telling my mom that
I wouldn't move unless I could bring Crystal with me. We always stayed in touch with
Birthday and Christmas cards though, I don't think we ever missed a year. Crystal
always called me on my Birthday, she never forgot! I was so thrilled when she
finally got a computer and got hooked up to the Internet. We started emailing each
other often. I loved getting her emails. They were so full of details about
her children. She loved them with a passion. I had never met Crystal's
husband. I knew that I didn't like him though. That is something I never told
her. He really bugged me because although Crystal was always very polite and never
uttered a bad word about him I could read between the lines. She was TOO careful
with what she said. She never talked about how much she loved him or what fun they
had together. It really annoyed me that when she had to have a hysterectomy he
wouldn't help her out around the house or with the kids. He was always "too
busy". We always talked about getting together but I always had a feeling that
he wouldn't approve. She didn't talk about other friends besides her sister.
Always after talking to Crystal I would later talk to another friend of mine and complain
that I felt Crystal's husband was extremely controlling although I never had proof of
that, It was just a feeling.
When Crystal married her husband he was a police officer. He
had been promoted to the Chief of Police for Tacoma, WA only a year or so ago. She
wrote me and told me that he had been selected and I wrote her back about how proud she
must be of him. I never got a response to that statement, I now know why.
In mid-February I came home after running some errands and noticed I had
a message on my answering machine. It was Crystal, talking a mile a minute about not
emailing her at her house, she left David, affairs, threats, and to call her at her mom
and dads. She had left him! OMG!!! I immediately called her back.
She spilled her guts and talked like she never had before, which is something for
Crystal because she was always one that could talk, she sounded so alive and free.
She went into great detail about all that she had gone through and that she had been
hiding it for years, she hadn't even told her parents or sister the depth of it until she
left him. They knew he was controlling but never the daily horror she had to endure
with him. I won't go into all the details here but I will include a link where you
can read all the details of all the events in this tragedy.
It was very hard for Crystal to leave David, not because she loved him
but because of who he was. Being the Chief of Police he was the very one in control
of the people that she needed help from. Who would believe her? She was so
careful and tried to do everything right as not to provoke him. Maybe she was too
careful, maybe she should have marched right into the police station and announced it at
the top of her lungs, maybe then they would have investigated him, taken his weapon away,
something. There are so many maybes and what-ifs to this. She told me and
everyone else that would listen that David threatened to kill her if she left him.
He pointed his service revolver at her and told her "accidents happen".
Even though she told me about these threats many times after she left him, and even though
I was scared for her and her children, I only thought that this would drag on for
years and that he might constantly torment her but not that he would actually kill her
himself.
On April 26th, just 2 days after her 35th birthday, Crystal went to a
class that had to do with what to do for your children when your going through a divorce.
That shows you just what a loving mother she was and that she wanted to do
everything right for her children to make this as easy as possible for them. She was
on her way back to town and talking to her mom on her cell phone, I assume she was filling
her in on the events of the day. Suddenly she spotted David in a car ahead of her
and told her mom that she thought she saw David. He had the kids as had been
arranged She told her mom that she had to go and hung up the phone. 4 minutes
later in a drug store parking lot he shot Crystal and then killed himself. Crystal
clung to life and was even making some improvements and was responding to commands from
the Dr. but she slipped away from us all a few days after being shot. She had
so many people praying for her and she has touched so many peoples lives through all of
this. I wish she could know just how many people love her.
I'm sitting here now not knowing what else to say. I miss her so
much! She was such a special friend in my life. I find myself thinking about
her daily and breaking into tears. I am going to miss her chatty phone calls and her sweet
cards with the pretty stickers on the envelopes.
I wish I would have done something or called someone and told what I knew. What if
what I said had made somebody investigate him. I'll never know.
I have included links to help those of you that need help or know
somebody that does. Crystal's dad is trying to get a law passed for victims
protection. They want to name it the "Crystal Clear Act/Initiative"
When I have more details about it I will post it here. I will do all I can to
support this cause, I hope you will to.
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