Shortly after graduation from high school in 1959, I broke up with my boyfriend. We had been together throughout all of junior and high school. We had been engaged and my parents had taken me to Pikes Peak and Milwaukee as a graduation gift. He had been given access to our home and to our automobiles during the 2 weeks that we were gone and he was there to watch over the house and our dog.. When we arrived in town after our trip, I pulled up beside him at a traffic light, he wasn't aware of when we would be coming home. There was Nicki, all curled up beside him, his arm was around her and her head was on his shoulder. You can imagine their surprise when I pulled up and we all sat there watching the two of them together. The immediate fear on both of their faces was exhilarating. After unpacking the car, I asked my parents if I could take the car for a while. They asked where I needed to go and I said I had an engagement ring to give back and an engagement to break. They probably would have driven me there if I'd asked because I knew it wouldn't disappoint either of my parents if I broke off the engagement.
The following fall, I went to Capital Beauty School in Columbus. I can look back today on the different jobs I've had over my adult years, ponder all my mistakes and hope and pray my children and grandchildren don't make some of the same mistakes. My first mistake was going to beauty school instead of college. I could have had either, but evidently chose the easiest way and became a beautician. I enjoyed Columbus, you have to remember that I'm the one that had never been out of the state of Ohio until after graduation, there was so much to do, many people to meet and many places to go. I knew my parents would frown upon the places I went and we frequented the OSU campus area and drank a lot of beer that fall. I came home from Capital in June, 1960, after graduation and started to work in a shop in downtown Bellefontaine.
Life was great. My ex had quit school, joined the Navy and was out of my life. His parents stayed in contact with my family and would call me whenever he called home from boot camp. His dad would drive across town to tell me he was on the phone and ask if I would come down and talk to him at their house. I held off and ignored them as long as I could. Finally I gave in and thought that if I talked with him, he would get out of my life entirely. I don't remember the numerous conversations that followed, but I wasn't as strong as I thought I could be in this particular situation. I eventually agreed to drive with his parents to Waukegan to his Naval Graduation ceremonies. This became my second mistake because we made up that weekend and on December 17, 1960, we married.
The greatest day of my married life was in October, 1961 when our first son was born. My husband continued with his Naval obligation and in April, 1962, our son and I moved to Rhode Island to an apartment so we could be together as a family. This became my third mistake. Six months later the Cuban Crisis broke out and my parents drove to Rhode Island. I came back to Ohio with them while my husband was on a ship on his way to Cuba.
Prior to the completion of his military obligation, and the second greatest day of my life, our first daughter was born in 1964. When he returned to Ohio, he was a married man, the father of two young children and living in the home of his in-laws. I was working and it wasn't long before he found employment and we bought our first home. But something in my life was still amiss. I was used to having him come home on leave over a weekend, once every six weeks or so, then having the rest of the time as my own with our two children, but soon became a wife as well as a mother. He wasn't used to telling anybody where he was going or when he was going or how long he was going to stay. He started drinking heavily, running around, and staying away from home more often than he was home.
Our home was 7 miles and long distance from my parents in a new housing development. Maybe we would finally become a complete family. He changed jobs, out of our county and was spending a lot of time at a local bar in the area, drinking alcohol and meeting women in bars, which seemed to be first and foremost in his life. In one of his drunken frenzies, I became pregnant with our third daughter and she was born in 1966. In my mind, I had been contemplating divorce and another child was the last thing I needed if I was going to get out of my marriage. I remember the day I called the hospital and they informed that I was definitely pregnant. In time, I accepted the pregnancy and couldn't wait until the day I had another sweet baby to take care of and the day she was born became the third greatest day of my life.
I enjoyed our children daily and was always involved in their school, after school, church, and summer activities. The four of us became the family. He was running up bar tabs in our county and surrounding counties. I went to one bar that wasn't very far from us and asked that they stop giving him credit for drinking and if he didn't have the money to pay cash, to refuse to give him the credit because he was taking our tax refund check and paying off his bar tabs. I was told by the female owner of the bar to get out of her establishment and to mind my own business. She told me to go home and take care of my children and they would take care of their business. They were stuck with a very large bar tab that I refused to pay in later years as I was approached in the parking lot of a bank and the owner asked me if I knew where he was living. I'm sure my comment back to her was not the nicest comment I could have made to her. But it was another great day!!
In 1975, he had taken a voluntary lay-off from a good paying job and ended up with a few thousand dollars in benefits. This money never made it home to pay bills, he drank it up or gave it away. Did you know that employers don't come knocking on your door or call you on the telephone and ask you to work for them? He didn't either because he wasn't looking for employment, he was sitting at the bar where they told me to get out. Finally with a lot of squabbling between us, he decided he was going to move back to our home town and live with his parents for a while. We divorced in 1976. He remarried once, divorced again and then lived with his parents until 2001 when his mother passed away. He was finally on his own and moved in with his girlfriend.
Life was great. I was no longer looking out the window for a car to drive up with a drunken husband in it or a police car driving up with the information that he had been in a terrible wreck because he was so drunk he couldn't make it home. I wasn't receiving hang up telephone calls when I answered the phone from the women he was running around with. All the utility bills were paid to date and when I came home from work there wasn't a 24 hour notice of disconnection hanging on the front door. The bills were paid, the kids and I were happy and life was great. Even though he is their father and in their own way, they love him, they often said in later years, 'why did you wait so long mom?' Another mistake!!
Now, life has changed for everybody. The kids are grown, married, have children and lives of their own. Mom has remarried and is very happy with her life.
Dad passed away on September 10, 2008 in a nursing facility in Bellefontaine. He had had Alzheimer's for several years and died of pneumonia, for those of you that know him.
