While
visiting the Missouri Botanical Garden with my son, we noticed a
sweet, wonderful smell in the air. This fragrance caused us both to
stop and look around to find where it was coming from. It was
fruity; sweet and light, and only in certain places. Although
it was a warm day, it was winter. What could be blooming at this
time of year? Whatever this plant was, I wanted it for my own
garden. We made a beeline for the Kemper Center. Surely the
people at the answer desk would know what on earth this wonderful
plant could be. They didn't know immediately, but would call me
later with the answer. Sure enough, by the time we got home, a
message was waiting for us on the answering machine. The
wonderful, sweet smell we noticed that day was called "Goose
Chase." I never heard of a plant called Goose Chase.
The message went on to say that
Goose Chase is the name of a product used on the grass to keep the geese
from eating there. (Oops)
This substance is made
from the by-product of pressed grapes (hence the sweet smell).
The tannins in this substance makes the grass taste bad to the geese.
Well, I learned something for having asked that question, but I was glad
they couldn't see my face when I heard the answer!
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CLOSE
CALL?
I
visited some local nurseries one Friday, to collect plants for my new and
improved flower garden. Tommy, my eight year old, didn't have school
that day and came along. Bees and butterflies were
making the rounds among the plants as we walked. Suddenly, he
did what I call "the bug dance," from a flying
insect that got too close. Then a look of relief came over his face
as he bravely said, "A butterfly landed on me and tried to pollinate
me, but I shook him off and he flew away."
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FOR A GOOD
TIME... You know you're a true gardener when instead of going
bar-hopping with your friends you go "nursery hopping" for a
REALLY good time! You return home loaded (with plants) and the buzz
is from the bees!
LET'S CHAT OVER COFFEE
My good friend Tracy lives in a small town in
Wisconsin. She uses her composted grass clippings, leaves, etc. to
amend her sandy soil. Last year, she discovered that a local coffee
business was willing to give her their used grounds so she could use them
for composting. She routinely picks up heaping buckets full of used
grounds and filters which are also compostable.
One day, her neighbor had company over, and they
had remarked that my friend must really be into organic gardening.
When the neighbor asked why, the visitor made a comment about the heaping
piles of “stuff” in that garden, and asked if my friend “did it”
in a pail and dumped it outside (the exposed filters looked like toilet
paper, not to mention the appearance of the coffee grounds). The
neighbor then explained about the coffee!
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Said the papa pumpkin to
his new son in law: "Treat her in the manure in which she is
accustomed"
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A GRAVE DECISION
My friend Tammy explained to
our garden club that she moves plants around so much in her yard, her
husband told her that when she dies, he will have to move her grave every
year to make her feel more comfortable!
IT'S ALL TOAST
A dry spell this year forced
our water company to encourage rationing in our city to save water.
Of course, when you have an investment such as gardens to maintain, one
has to sacrifice the lawn for the flowers and vegetables. So I gave up
trying to water my lawn. During this time, my friend Maureen and her
husband Vance had shared some divisions of their plants with me, including
a fabulous "Zebra" grass that I had admired. Maureen told me
that after planting the grass, I should water the "heck" out of
it. So the grass was planted and faithfully watered each day, though
the weather continued to be dry. Two weeks later, in a phone
conversation, Maureen asked me "How's your grass?"
Thinking she meant the lawn, I told her "It's toast. Pretty crispy
right now." I heard gasps from the other end of the phone.
"Really? Oh that's terrible! The grass I gave you?"
That's when I realized which grass she meant!
Don't eat onions in
your car!!
Yesterday on the way home from work, I spotted a
hot dog shack with a big sign that said "Chicago Style" hot
dogs. I ate a delicious dog, dripping with onions, hot peppers, pickles and tomatoes. A piece of onion fell on the
carpet, which I retrieved; however, my hands were so stinky from touching the
onions
and stuff falling off the bun, that I had to make a quick stop at home to wash off, before going to the gym.
Once there, my hands still smelled so bad, I
couldn't believe it. I got into the car and smelled that unmistakable odor. After brushing my fingernails
and hands with liquid detergent, the smell was still there.
This morning I took the room deodorizer into the
car with me to work, for a couple of sprays before leaving the car. Maybe one stinky smell will cover
over the other stinky smell!
Sandra Schmitz
President-Gardeners
of Parkway
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MY FISH STORY
Coming home from a trip to the store, my 10
year old son kept asking what was in my bag. I told him it was
fish emulsion. "What's compulsion?" he asked me.
I think I will save that explanation for the spring plant sale...
-Fran
"Kids love instant results, so having
them help with bedding plants in bloom or close to it is a great way to
get little ones interested in the garden. And they love to water things
with the hose. My three-year-old grandson was sprinkling a new patch of
grass when his 20-month old brother decided to get wet, too.
"Okay," I said, stripping the little one to a diaper,
"sprinkle Benny." "And he will grow big like me," said
Spencer. I nodded, but was unprepared for his next remark. "Then
we'll mow him!"
Lynn
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An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden,
but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in
Prison. The old man wrote to his son and mentioned his predicament. Shortly,
he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden,
that's where I buried the BANK MONEY!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen police showed up and dug up the entire
garden, without finding any money. Confused, the old man wrote another note
to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next. His
son's reply was:
"Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do at this time."
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