Joshua's Story


The day that my husband and I found out that I was pregnant, we were very surprised. We had not been trying, and were not even considering having any children for quite some time. Of course, we were very excited and bought a crib that same week. We purchased all kinds of baby books to show us the progress that our little sweet pea was making. I had a calendar that showed what day his arm and leg buds started forming, the day his heart would start beating, and when other essential organs were being developed. I remember reading my books and glancing at the calendar several times a day in awe of what was taking place. My husband and I decided that if our baby was going to be a boy, we would name him Joshua, because Joshua means "Jehovah is salvation".

On July 31, 1998, we went in for a ultrasound. I was 26 weeks along. What we thought would be one of the most exciting moments of our pregnancy turned out to be one of the worst days in our lives. We wanted to know what sex the baby was going to be, we could not wait to find out. However, we did not find out the sex of our baby, instead we found out our baby could have Potter's Syndrome. The doctor explained that our baby did not have any kidneys and that they produce the amniotic fluid. Without amniotic fluid our baby's lungs would not develop properly, and he would not survive outside the womb. He also let us know that he could pass away in the womb before my due date. I was hysterical at this point. He told us that we would have to see a specialist on Monday to confirm the diagnosis. My husband and I would have to wait all weekend long.

Monday came and we drove to the Portland University Hospital. The diagnosis was correct and our baby had Potter's syndrome and would not survive. They asked us if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy. We both agreed not to terminate the pregnancy for two reasons. We do not believe in abortion, and we also wanted to cherish every single moment we had left with our baby. He was our life and love.

At times I would cry forever knowing that he had no amniotic fluid to protect him from shock and to regulate the temperature in the womb. I would pray to Jehovah and ask Him to listen to my heart when I cried. I could not speak or tell Him my feelings, there were no words for my grief and pain. I opened up to Jehovah and gave Him everything in my prayers, through my tears. I knew Jehovah was with me and gave me immense strength to deal with my grief. I feel I would have lost my mind if it were not for my faith in Jehovah and His grand promise of a resurrection of life on paradise earth.