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TIPS For a Successful Life |
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> If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. > A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. > Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. > He who hesitates is probably right. > Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. > No one is listening until you make a mistake. > Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. > The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. > The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. > The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. > To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. > To succees in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. > Two wrongs are only the beginning. > You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. > The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. > A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. > If you must choose pick the one you've never tried before. > Don't sweat petty things.....or pet sweaty things. > A fool and his money are soon partying. > Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation. > Attempt to get a new car for your spouse--it'll be a great trade! > Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. > Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. > Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. > Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. > Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back. > Half the people you know are below average. > 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. > A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. > If a first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you! > Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. > Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo. > If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? > Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? > What happens if you get scared half to death twice? > Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. > I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. > I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. > Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. > How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? > Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. > Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? > Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms! > For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. > OK, so what is the speed of Dark? > Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! > Black holes are where God divided by zero. > All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. |
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Inspired by Tana4me2 | |||||||||||||||||
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