WELCOME
............WELCOME TO MY RECOVERY PAGE AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
.........My name is Marsha and I am 51 and a grateful recovering alcoholic. I have been in the program since July 20th, 1996. I am writing this story hoping that I may be able to help others, and if I touch at least one heart and you find AA to help you have a better life as I have done, then God has blessed you as well as myself.
......As long as I can remember I lived in a very disfunctional house where alcohol was always around. Both of my parents drank very heavy. So that is all I knew. At the age of 12 my father died and my life went down hill. My mother worked and continued to drink and I was out of control. I too started drinking. I thought it was normal. I took my mothers booze just to get drunk. At the age of 13 I ran away from home and got introduced to drugs, Uppers, Downers, L.S.D., and good ole weed. You name it I did it except for herion and cocaine. After 3 weeks I returned back home to find my mother drunk again, this went on for about 2 years until she married my step-father who I love to hate. At the age of 15 they married and at the age of 16 I got pregnant just to get out of the house and away from my mother and step-father. But I was still being abused and I still drank. At the age of 19 I already had 2 children and married to a man I hated. I married him for all the wrong reasons. My life was totally out of control. I finally got divorced from this man and lost my two children to him. At the age of 23 I was married again and another son and still partying heavy. Still being abused and still out of control. Later on in this marriage I found out that my then husband was a child molester. I divorced him in 1978. I was raising my 1 year old son alone and holding 3 jobs and still drinking. I once again married in 1982 to a man who was a good person, but once again I screwed that marriage up by drinking and drugs, we divorced in 1989. I got a good job and met my fiancee of 5 years who meant the world to me. I stopped drinking in Oct of 1990 and that was also my last drug. So for 5 years I was on a dry drunk. In Janurary of 1994 he suddenly died in my arms of a massive heart attack. I again started drinking and my life was totally out of control again. Well in May of 1994 ( 4 months later) I married my best friend because I was scared of being alone, I was angry, lonely, and scared. I got a job as a waitress and made good money and continued to drink for 2 more years. Hideing my booze and waiting for my husband to go to work so I could drink. I was a closet drinker. I worked from 4 to midnight on weekdays and 6 to 2 am on week ends and my husband worked from 11:30 pm to 8 Am. So you see it was perfect timing for me to be alone and if I had a bad night at work, time to drink. A good night at work, time to drink. Anytime was a good time to drink. But I was still drug free. I met this lady one night at work ( who was a customer) who had just lost her husband. At the time I did not know she was in the program of A.A. Well we became good friends and she come home with me from work one night to have coffee and talk. I had my bottles sitting on my kitchen counter and I found myself trying to hide them. I realized then that I had a problem. This was July 20, 1996 and my last drink. I started going to meetings and very scared. I thought to my self " you people have nothing I want" but I was told to keep coming back and I did. Well I stuck around the tables and started to work the steps of A.A. and my life started to change. In 1998 my husband told me that I had changed so much that I was causing his depression. Well my marriage started to go down hill. I continued to go to meetings and tried to get my husband to get involved in Alanon but he wouldn't see to it. Oh he went to a few meetings but soon gave up on them and continued to blame me for his depression and putting him into his shell. My marriage was over. But I found my Higher Power. I lost my favorite aunt in Feburary of 1999 but I didn't have to drink to get through it. I just asked my Higher Power for strength and guidance. I met my now husband in A.A. and our relationship is great. We can share and feel the same feelings and be the best of friends. In June my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and I have been taking care of her. Since she had become ill we have gotten closer than ever before. She has told me that she is proud of me and can see the change in me since I have became sober and started A.A. We have a relationship today that I only dreamed of as a young child. On December 18, 1999 my mother went home to the Lord and I was blessed to be there and held her hand when she went home. So you see it is never to late to make your life right and do right for others that you may have hurt in the past. But I have found the way through the program of A.A. and my Higher Power in which I call God. So you see I am a blessed woman today. I have God in my life today and been sober since July 20th of 1996 now and finally getting my life in order. As long as I keep working the steps, go to meetings, and don't drink, I can walk through anything and I don't have to do it alone unless I choose to.
......Well that is my story and I hope you enjoyed reading it. I really want to thank you for taking the time and stopping by. And if you have heard your story here, let me know. Thanks again and God bless you
...............................................................................................Marsha D.
................................................................................................Fresno Ca.
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