My sister's bed




Her bed still sits in the very same spot
   Since she left
At night I'll look to my right
   and remember her sleeping
So many nights, so many years
   my sister slept here, next to me
   in the same room
And now I search for some comfort
   recalling her patterns and snores,
   nightmares and dreams
She would sleep in the covers
   all tangled around her leg
Dogs draped in every direction
She always kept one hand on each
Her homework spread out in front of
   her while she sat in that bed
Hiding under the blanket from the dog

This is where she slept-every night
unaware of my curiousity and adoration-
   She slept. I watched and she slept
Getting up in the middle of the night
   to check her breathing when she
   wasn't snoring
So much care, so many worries
   If only I had told her so while she
   was awake
***************************************

I find myself waking in the middle of the
  night in sweats
I sit up recalling my bad dream and looking
  directly to my right
And there sits her empty bed leaving
  me with no hope for the morning
So I close my eyes and lay back into
  my pillow searching for comfort
forgetting my tears-I remember her sleeping
She slept in that bed for fourteen years
Right next to me-in the same room
I can't say we stayed up hours on end
  talking about boys and school
  and sister stuff
because we hadn't gotten there yet
But I can say I watched her while she
  slept and thought about when these
  things would come up-when she got older
I hold on to the sleepless nights
When she kept me up with her endless
  snores
Sometimes she'd say things mumbled
  under her breath
I'd laugh and answer back
She'd lay there tangled in sheets
  embraced by the dogs-same thing every night
Just to remember her sleeping
  is a blessing to me
When I think about my sister
I find myself blank
So many things she would have been
my bridesmaid
the loving aunt of my children
my comfort
my reason
my best friend
my sister
I have now-memories of her sleeping
Thank God I watched her while she slept

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