Thank you for coming to this very special page that I would like to dedicate to FEELING's. Good, Bad, Happy or Sad.

Did you ever give thought to what happens to you when your children grow up and move away?

I didn't either till the other day. Oh, I thought about them and what they were doing and how they were doing, but never about how I felt about it. I am thinking about it today allot. Maybe it is because I talked to my son on ICQ or maybe because of what I saw on the highway Saturday night and I could do nothing to help. Why? It was to late for the person I saw. He needed help a bit sooner than my arrival or anyone else's as far as that goes.

My sons I love more than words can express. My grandchildren also. I think, if ever anything happened to them I would not be able to survive and live in the way in which I do today.

As I was talking with my son today, I was reminded of how very dear life is.

As I told him of the site at which I was unable to help a young man who had been hit by a car several times on the highway last Saturday night. He started to tell me of how close I was to not having my son and his pregnant wife and my grandson thanks to a drunk driver. Thank you God, my son and his family was spared. The other couple were hurt but survived the accident. They were drunk and wore no seat belts. They hit the windshield. Now, isn't that a hard way to stop? How would they have felt if they had hit this young family and killed them? Would they be able to live with themselves? Would they be able to function normally? PROBABLY.......people who drink and drive have not much of a conscious. They must be hard core. As I do not drink and never have, I find it hard to believe that they must get behind the wheel of any vehicle after drinking.

I thought Saturday night of the Mother and Father who lost a child on that highway. Not knowing how their child was really killed. Only knowing that some one came upon his body in the middle of the highway. Where was his car or the people he was with? Did he really have to die that way? Was he in the back of a truck and fell out or was he crossing the highway on foot? Was he with someone that got mad at him and shoved him out of the car? Only God and the person that last saw him alive knows this.

As I was talking, I started thinking about a few years ago when my son was in a car accident and NO one saw fit to tell me about it till three weeks later. I know at that time I was so helpless I couldn't think right. He was already out of the hospital and on his way back to a normal life. He was eighteen at the time. A young man nearly on his own. His Father was called to go to the hospital and he went. BUT he thought I couldn't handle it and forbid him to tell me. My son needed me and I needed him.

I wonder about this young man laying there on that cold dirty payment alone. Where is his family and what are they doing? Why wasn't he home with them? Was really there something so important that this young person had to go out? My heart keeps saying please God, I pray you let him go fast and not linger and feel the pain I am sure he must of felt for too long. Please God, let someone know where he is. Please God, let someone care enough to claim him. Please God, Please go with his Mother and Father and lead them to a place where they can survive this awful message they have been given.

This evening I sit here writing this and I am still wondering if he has been claimed. Did he know that his family loved him and did they tell him? Did he tell them? I feel for his parents and family. I want to cry for this young man. I want to reach out to the people that know what happened to him and ask WHY? How did this terrible thing happen? WHY DID YOU LEAVE HIM on that highway alone?

No, I didn't know this person, but my heart still goes out to him. I am still sad that he died in such a terrible lonely way. This accident happen a little over one hundred miles from my home, but I know it could happen right in my front yard. We have such a busy busy road here with little kids riding bikes and roller baldeing. People use this road for a speedway. I know any number of animals could be killed on this road at any time. I thank God I taught our dog, June, to look before going in the road. I am glad that she would rather stay in her own yard.

None of us are immune to this sort of thing happening to our loved ones. Maybe not on the highway alone, but any time any where our loved one can be taken away from us. We just have to be sure and tell them everyday how very important they are to us. I don't even let my hubby go off to work or sleep at night without telling him that I love him. You never know what is going to happen at any given time.

As the mother of three, stepmom of three and the grandmother of six, I pray that I never have to hear anything as bad as my loved one was taken.

I know this is rather long and maybe some of you think I am just rambling. That is ok. I feel this needs to be here at this time just in case for some dumb luck this young mans family should happen by, that they know some one cared about him. Even if I didn't know him. I want the parents to know that I tried. So did a couple other young men. It was just to late. To know that some one cared enough to write about what happened to him. To let others know to PLEASE watch out for your loved ones. Not to let them die alone. Tell them that you love them more than life it self. That they are important to you.

As a parent, I think it important to let your children know how you feel and not be afraid to show love to your family and friends.

UPDATE ON HIGHWAY ACCIDENT

I have found out more about this accident. This was a 40 year old man who had been out drinking. He was taking a short cut home by way of crossing the highway. This man was so intoxicated that he didn't realize what even happened to him.

This man has a name but I will not use it. I can see no reason too. His family is hurting enough knowing what happened.

I do want you to understand what can happen when you drink and how your decisions can turn out not so good for your family, as well as that of anyone else involved.

Upon cutting across a four lane highway in the dark wearing dark clothing and being intoxicated this man walked into a protruding piece of metal from a passing semi truck. This killed the man instantly. He was NOT hit by the truck head on. But because it was dark and the cars behind the truck did not see him laying in the road was therefor ran over by two other vehicles before he was seen.

This is where we came into the scene. Can you even imagine how the people felt when they realized that it was a man that they hit. I know they must be feeling rather ill. Because I am and I didn't hit him. I just saw him laying there.

There are two reasons to thank God in the terrible accident and one doesn't sound very good till you think about for a moment. The first reason and most important reason is that he didn't suffer and he didn't feel the other two hits. The second is and this, he was a grown man, not a young teen. At least he lived 40 years and I hope they were 40 good years.

Here is a good example of what drinking can do to you and your family. PLEASE don't let this happen to YOUR family and friends. If you must drink and I know some of you think that you must, PLEASE do it at home. Don't go anywhere in the car or walking on the road. Your reasoning is grossly messed up and you can not think right.

I want to tell this man's family how very sorry I am that he died. That I am sorry I couldn't do anything to help. That if I could I would turn back the clock a few minutes and maybe we could have gotten there first and kept him off the road. I also want to tell them that he is now in a wonderful place watching over all of his loved ones. To try and remember all the wonderful times you had and as long as you have memories he will always be with you.

I also want to tell his family that when they need a hug and there is no one around, they can put their right hand on their left shoulder and their left hand on their right shoulder and give a squeeze. This will be a hug from HIM to YOU. The tears that start to form in your eyes is because he just said, "I LOVE YOU".

I hope this helps someone other than myself. It has taken lots of thought and tears to get this to sound right. It has also reminded me of other times in my life that were not so good. I don't know why or how some of us can continue on living as if nothing has happened terrible in our lives, but we do. It can only be, God has something more instore for us and only time will tell.