1. How can someone that's as good looking as yourself be so intelligent?

• I don't know.

3. Why did the chicken cross the road anyway?

• I don't know.

4. Okay Phil 'fess up: Where were you on the night J.R. was killed?

• Ummm . . . helping the chicken cross the road - yeh - yeh that's it see.

5. How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

• 4, one to screw the light bulb in and the others to keep their mouth, ears and eyes shut. - see.

6. If I can travel so far south that I'm eventually traveling north, will east automatically become west?

• Errr - uhhh. . . that depends if the chicken is traveling with you.

7. Would you please stay off the chicken for a moment?

• Sorry, just winging it - see.