Andy's Reviews

THE SIEGE

Starring Denzel Washington, Annette Benning, and Bruce Willis

Aiight. This was the patriotic movie of the year award. First of all, check the logo. Title superimposed on American flag. Can you get more patriotic? And how bout Bruce Willis? Find me a more patriotic individual. I know what you're thinking. "First 3 DIE HARDs, the ARMAGGEDON, and now Bruce saves New York once again." Nope. For once in his life, he plays the bad guy. Kinda in spite of all those casting directors who call him up when they need a tough skinned but gooey centered hero. OK let's do the review now. First though, I'm not like all those other "4 stars 2 thumbs up" reviewers who get paid to say BARNEY'S GREAT ADVENTURE is the "most inventive, enthralling movie of the decade." So let's go. I saw this movie with my homie JD and my dad. Normally my dad wouldn't have come, but the started this dumb rule that parents can no longer sign the ticket stub for R movies for minors, they have to actually go to the movie. So we all went to this. Theater was really crowed, so we had to sit in the front. This is stadium seating now, so we had to look straight up to watch. And lemme tell ya also, our viewing experience was impaired by the fact that there was this retarded (not mentally handicapped, just dumb) lady sittin in front of us. Before the movie, she was throwing popcorn. Popcorn! This was like a 40-year-old woman! Then during the movie, whenever Denzel threw a punch at one of the baddies, she would clap rapidly and elbow her husband next to her. And after Denzel dissed some guy, she let out one of those real loud "OOOOOOOO"s, know what I mean? And then after the movie, her darling, kind-hearted little son reached down to pick up his empty popcorn bucket, and she slapped his hand away saying "No no Johnny, just leave it here. That's why we pay $10 for a ticket."

And now to the movie. Lots of Arabs are protesting this because they feel it portrays them in a "negative light". If you're worried about seeing this because of that, let me settle your fears. It doesn't. It really gives the moral that just because a guy is Muslim doesn't mean he is a terrorist. The plot was basically like a update of what happened to the Japanese-Americans during World War II. There were several bombings in New York connected to Muslim extremeists and so the army comes in with their martial law and whatnot and arrest all the Arab males, etc etc etc. There's the plot, here's the analysis: The opening sequence is exciting. Footage from the recent bombings in Africa combined with ficticious news voices proclaiming it as the bombing of a Marine barracks, the worst terrorist crime against America ever, etc. The news-y stuff ends with a sampled shot of President Clinton declaring that the US will not negotiate with terrorists and that the war has begun. Then there is a covert ops sequence where CIA-types kidnap the bin Laden-modeled guy allegedly responsible for the bombing. Unfortunately, he never shows up again, leaving for me a kind of hollowness. The action moves back to New York where it builds up with several bombings. Denzel Washington is excellent as the FBI agent hardset to finding the perps. Tony Shalhoub (Primary Colors, Men in Black) is also very good as his Arab partner, representing the underdog, minority side. They begin to investigate, and Annette Benning comes in as the "State Department" (really CIA) agent obstructor of justice trying to conduct her own covert investigation sleeping with the Arab contact type of chick. All three, plus Denzel's team (strikingly similar in character to Tommy Lee Jones's team in The Fugitive/US Marshals) investigate with the help of said Arab snitch. Behind it all, secret meetings are taking place to debate whether to institute some sort of martial law. Things begin to look up, Denzel and the gang successfully stop a couple of attempts, when a devastating incident takes place causing the proverbial camel's back to break. Up next, the incredibly majestic/morbid scene of American soldiers marching across the Brooklyn Bridge, tanks rolling through Times Square. Stones, cans, and bottles are thrown at the tanks a la Israel/Palestine. It almost brings a tear to your eye. I'm gonna leave you there plotwise. But I can tell you that the rest of the movie, barring a slight dramatic twist, is quite cliche. Ah well. The incredible patriotism-antipatriotism makes up for it. Bottom line:

If you like Denzel and drama, check it out. If your just Willis-crazy from Armaggedon, don't bother.