Attached Mama Breastfeeding

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew I wanted to "try" breastfeeding again. I hadn't been able to breastfeed my son three years earlier, so I was hesistant about trying again - I remembered what an agonizing experience it was, trying then failing. Breastfeeding Gage had been a problem because I didn't have support or information - I didn't know what I was doing. But I thought I'd give it a try with Maddie and see what happened. After all, breastmilk is best. After she was born, it seemed she really wanted to nurse. She was fine once she got latched on, but therein lies the rub. The getting her latched on was the difficult part. I remember calling the nurses station in the middle of that first night asking them to bring me a bottle of formula. I cried as she drank it. I also remember one nurse, a little old lady, who said "boy if you want to nurse, that's the one to do it with" because of how well Maddie nursed once I got her positioned. So I kept trying...I went out and bought a few books and found a great breastfeeding support board on-line and started attending La Leche League meetings. Of all of those things, I reccommend LLL meetings first and foremost. Breastfeeding my daughter has been one of the most rewarding experiences I've had. It's wonderful to know I am nourishing her in the healthiest way possible. It can be a very daunting task, though. With Gage, I had such lack of support and information that I gave up after a week. Yes, he's very healthy, but I do regret not sharing this same experience with him. There are a lot of myths out there concerning breastfeeding. Let's dispel some of those right here. You can breastfeed multiples, you can breastfeed if you have small breasts or inverted nipples, you can breastfeed if you work full time (or part time) and you can breastfeed even if it seems you can't express much milk (babies are better at this than you are!). You can also breastfeed preemies or babies with physical problems such as cleft lip/palate or Down's Syndrome (these babies probably need to be breastfed more than others). It can be done, but it can be far from easy. Nursing while working full time was the difficulty I faced. I learned a lot about the various pumps and became quite proficient using one!! I learned that Medela was the best for me. You can even rent pumps from medical supply stations - or you can buy one depending on how long you plan on using it. One of the problems you can run into pumping daily is a decrease in your milk supply. But even a supply problem can be dealt with. It can be hard to pump at work if you can't find a decent place to do it or the time to do it, but it is highly rewarding. I found that I felt attached to my daughter during those few pumping sessions each day. Also, that wonderful relaxing hormone released during nursing (and pumping) was a great stress reliever in the middle of the day! Society continues to tell us that formula is "just as good" or that nursing is inconvenient, but these things couldn't be further from the truth. Formula can be a viable alternative if you cannot breastfeed, but it just doesn't compare to the real thing. Breastmilk is a living substance, full of antibodies and white blood cells. It's made specifically for human babies! It's easier to digest, helps baby fight off infection and viruses and helps reduce the risk of allergies. It's also been shown to increase IQ by a few points. Breastfeeding is good for mom, too. The hormones released during nursing helps you relax and breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain types of cancer in the mother. And I haven't even touched on the bonding that breastfeeding ensures (no one else can do the actual nursing) or the convenience of breastfeeding (you always have the perfect food, in abundance, at just the right temperature!) Maddie's 2 1/2 years old now and we're still nursing. We've progressed to Extended Breastfeeding. Lately the thought of weaning has crossed my mind, but I know it's best to let her lead the way. I can't believe this was so hard that first month or two - it gets 100% easier after the first two months. It's second nature to us now - and so much easier than mixing formula. Please do check out some of the links below and do your research before deciding how to feed your baby. This is another instance where you need to trust your instincts and do what feels right to you. I didn't think I'd be nursing this long - I thought I'd try and probably give up again. I was surprised at how much I wanted to continue once I started. It truly is a mystical experience - you feel tied to your ancestors in a way that is inexplicable. You just know when you're nursing that this is right. This is good. Breastfeeding Q&A Getting Started Breastfeeding Supply Issues Scheduling vs. demand feeding Working and breastfeeding Extended breastfeeding Weaning Just one quick caveat: I am no expert. The information herein comes from LLL publications, breastfeeding books I’ve read and other breastfeeding moms. Of course, the information is in my own words, but it is just what I’ve learned thus far. I’m one of those people who likes to know as much as I possibly can about something when I set my mind to doing it, so I’m pretty well read on this subject! However, if you have breastfeeding problems or need help, do seek out a LLL leader/group or lactation consultant. That said, here goes… Getting Started This was the hard part for me, and is usually the reason women stop breastfeeding. Just remember, those first few weeks are the toughest…you’re just getting used to this new person, trying to rest as much as possible and trying to figure out this breastfeeding thing. Because even if you’ve breastfed one baby, no two nursing relationships are the same so each time there are new things to learn. You won’t feel like you’re producing much milk at first, you’ll wonder if they’re going to starve (no, they won’t!) and you’ll wonder why this is difficult. Granted, some women and babies do this automatically, but nursing is not as easy as it sounds for most women. It’s a learned skill, it doesn’t just come naturally even though it is a natural function. I won’t go into all the practical details of the beginnings of a nursing relationship, because as I mentioned earlier, I really recommend La Leche League to help with the fundamentals of nursing. And there are a lot of other medical oriented sites out there to help you with all the different positioning and such. I just want to share my experiences and what helped me in those early weeks. The first things that helped me were books. I went out and got The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which is published by LLL. I strongly recommend this book – even before baby is born – because it addresses almost every possible element of the breastfeeding relationship. I started surfing the net and found a great breastfeeding support/message board where you could send a question out into the cyber-world and lo and behold an answer (or four or five!) would come back from experienced moms and LLL leaders who would comfort and assure you. It’s very helpful to surround yourself with supportive people who can help you, whether that be a friend who offers to make you dinner so you can relax or an online "friend" who’s been there and done that. I guess my advice for those first few weeks are to relax and have faith in your body. Breastfeeding is possible for the majority of women out there, you just have to know you can do it and get help when you need it. One last bit of advice (if you’re expecting or expecting to expect) is to get the information and support before you have the baby, that way you’re prepared and you know where to turn before you even run into problems. ~~back~~ Supply Issues Problems with supply come up in just about every nursing relationship at one point or another. I had several bouts of low-supply problems, and some women actually produce too much milk. These issues usually can be easily solved. First of all, you have to determine if there really is a problem. Some women think their milk supply has gone down when baby starts to nurse frequently, because baby reduces the amount of time he spends at the breast or because their breasts feel "softer"…all these things are totally normal. With low supply, one of the main things to do is try to pinpoint the problem. Sometimes an illness causes decreased milk production – even an illness in baby can cause this because with decreased numbers of nursings, your body will adjust the amount of milk it produces and therefore make less. Sometimes stress and lack of rest can cause your milk supply to plummet. Not drinking enough fluids or eating a proper diet can sometimes effect milk supply. Medications can also effect milk supply, so be sure to discuss breastfeeding with your doctor if they feel the need to prescribe medications. If you do feel that you need to increase your supply, there are steps you can take to try to do just that. You can offer baby the breast more frequently as nursing stimulates more production. And be sure to offer both breasts during a feeding. You should make sure baby’s not filling up on anything else for a little while – stop supplementing gradually in an effort to have baby nurse more frequently. You should reduce the amount of time baby uses a pacifier or takes a bottle – the more he’s getting sucking satisfaction from another source, the less he'll want to nurse. One little tidbit of advice I got from a nursing mom was oatmeal. For some reason, eating oatmeal had helped her milk supply and it helped mine too. Of course, if your baby seems unusually fussy or isn’t gaining weight you definitely want to see a doctor and work with them to keep the nursing relationship going. As mentioned, some women produce too much milk. From what I’ve read, this usually happens after a growth spurt when baby was nursing more (and therefore more and more milk was produced) or after frequent pumping. Usually the body will adjust and reduce the amount of milk being produced but that doesn’t alleviate the engorgement or soreness that will accompany the reduction in most cases. Usually a warm shower or warm compresses do wonders for engorgement/soreness. Here again, follow your baby’s cues. If he seems happy and is growing well, don’t spend too much time worrying about supply. If he does seem fussier than normal or has stopped gaining weight, or if you’d just like some affirmation, you can visit your doctor. Many doctors will let you come in just to have your baby weighed during those first few weeks just to ease your mind. ~~back~~ Scheduling vs. demand feeding When breastfeeding, your body takes it’s cues to produce milk each time your baby nurses. And in those first few weeks, that can be a lot. This supply and demand set-up would be compromised if you tried to set a strict schedule to nursings. You could end up being engorged and uncomfortable, and baby would end up hungry. It’s best to feed your baby when they seem hungry – after all, all babies are different. One baby may be able to go a few hours between feedings where another one can’t. I never like a one size fits all approach to anything in parenting, and where feeding is concerned that type of approach can even be dangerous. By demand feeding, you are ensuring you baby gets what he needs, when he needs it. Keep in mind also, that breastmilk is digested more quickly than formula, so whereas a formula fed baby may go 3-4 hours between feedings that time span is very rare in young breastfed babies. I guess I just don’t understand the mind-set involved with scheduled feedings, especially for young babies. They aren’t trying to manipulate you – they’re just hungry. You aren’t teaching them anything by delaying feedings – the reasoning here is totally lost on me. Again, think about other cultures…in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, a study is cited on women of New Guinea…they nurse on average every 24 minutes for a few minutes at a time. They don’t look at clocks or watches, they do what is natural. I guess I just imagine a mother cat trying to schedule feedings for her kittens. Doesn’t happen. We’re mammals just like that mother cat. ~~back~~ Working and breastfeeding There are, of course, special challenges faced by a working mother who wishes to breastfeed. It can be done, I’ve done it. The first thing I think is important is a long maternity leave – as long as your company and your finances allow. Remember, the Family Medical Leave Act guarantees you at least 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave if you’ve been at that company one year and if that company employs over 50 people. I took full advantage of that! During that time, you can ensure that your supply is adequately established and that the nursing relationship is well under way. Before going back to work, it’s a good idea to invest in a breast pump and start freezing breastmilk a couple weeks before going back to work so you have a headstart. I didn’t do this and regretted it a couple of times when I had to run home on lunch break to bring a fresh bottle of breastmilk. If you’re able, that’s a good idea – to run home on lunch breaks. I did that so that Maddie could have her lunch from the real deal! As far as breast pumps go, I love the Medela pumps. They have a Pump In Style, but I rented one of the Lactina Select’s…these are electric hospital grade double pumps. Double pumps are great time savers. The first thing to do is figure out where you can pump at work. Some companies now have lactation rooms, but not too many unfortunately. I used a small store room with a chair…it wasn’t the most calm inducing atmosphere, but I pumped pretty easily anywhere. You can also get adapters for most pumps so that you can use them in you car if you need to. Most of the pumps come with bags that look relatively inconspicuous and that have pockets to put your ice packs and bottles of breastmilk. I usually had to pump at least twice a day, sometimes three times if I could squeeze it in (no pun intended!). Some women have trouble “warming up” to the pump. Bring along a picture of your baby, or even an article of baby’s clothing and think of baby. These things can help achieve let down and get your milk flowing. Don’t worry if you don’t get much to start with, the important thing is that you continue to pump. Several shorter pumping sessions are better than one long one, because each time you pump you stimulate milk production. Some babies also have trouble adjusting to the bottle. This can be very frustrating. I really liked the Avent bottles, most nursing moms recommend these because the sucking action required most closely mimics breastfeeding. I tried quite a few before finding Avent, so do try various types until you find one your baby will take. Sometimes, this bottle-aversion means you’ll have to start baby on a cup sooner than expected which can be quite messy!! Then there’s the storage problem. Well, not really a problem per se, but a challenge!! Once you pump milk, it needs to be refrigerated. Like I mentioned earlier, most pumps come with bags with pockets for milk storage. Be sure to use a few ice packs in the pocket with the bottle and it should be fine until you get home. Once at home, if you plan on using the milk within the next day or so, put it in the refrigerator. It can be refrigerated up to 8 days according to LLL, but I’d never go more than 4-5 days just to be on the safe side. If you need to store it longer, it needs to be frozen. Breastmilk can be stored for 3-4 months in a regular freezer, but up to 6 months in a separate deep-freeze type freezer. I always like to err on the side of caution, though. Make sure to date the container before putting it in the freezer. You should freeze in plastic bags (these aren’t just any plastic bags – you can get them usually at the same place you get your pump) or in opaque plastic, never glass. One bit of advice I got that really helped was to only freeze milk in several ounce increments. That way, you don’t thaw more than you need. Once you thaw frozen breastmilk, you can refrigerate it but you can’t put it back in the freezer so you don’t want to thaw too much and end up wasting it. You start to see breastmilk as liquid gold when you have to pump…you work very hard to provide this for your baby and you don’t want to waste a drop! ~~back~~ Extended Breastfeeding This term applies to nursing past one year of age, usually until the child weans himself. Before I started nursing Maddie, I was sure that I wouldn't be doing this. I thought maybe 6 months, but after that it would just be kind of weird. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's just one more way that I can reconnect with my toddler. And the fact of the matter is, the world-wide norm for weaning is 3-7 years! (Another example of how we feel in western cultures the need to push our kids toward independence!) Most moms I know who are extended breastfeeders report an average weaning age of 2 1/2 years old. In the scheme of things, that's really not a long time. And yes, there is still abundant nutritional value to breastmilk after one year. Even though your child will probably be eating a variety of foods, breastmilk still is better than cows milk (again - made for baby cows folks!). ~~back~~ Weaning I don't have a lot of personal experience with weaning. When I got pregnant with Mason, Maddie was still nursing at just over three years old. She gradually weaned because the milk just changed taste. It's funny, because I do remember not enjoying breastfeeding while pregnant so I'm sure I encouraged Maddie in weaning, but I don't recall doing anything to get her to stop per se. I think I probably used the "don't offer, sometimes refuse" tactic. Some disagree with this and say it's not true child led weaning, and while I agree with that thinking (that it's not child led) I can see that it has a place in a nursing relationship. Many people try the other route, "don't offer, don't refuse". That way you're not actively refusing asked-for nursing sessions, but you're also not offering when unasked-for. This is probably the most gentle way of weaning, but it can take longer if that's a concern. Both of these ways, though, are peferable to going cold turkey in my opinion. Weaning will probably be a bittersweet stage for both you and your child. It's best to acknowledge that and make sure to offer lots of other forms of love and comfort to your child during this stage. It's also best to delay weaning until after big life changes like moving or divorce. Nursing is a major source of comfort that children will need to get through those changes. ~~back~~

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