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Attached Mama Nighttime Parenting |
I called this section "nighttime parenting" because I feel that parenting doesn't end at bedtime. We're still parenting, even at 2 in the morning. Especially at 2 in the morning! I think it's crucial to be in "parenting" mode during these times because we're tired, we're cranky...we're prone to resorting to old parenting methods that we might not agree with in the light of day. And nighttime parenting can take many forms. For us, it was nursing to sleep, dancing to Fleetwood Mac or Johnny Clegg at midnight, walking the halls...whatever it took to get our babies to sleep without abandoning them to cry themselves to sleep in their dark rooms. Obviously, I am vehemently opposed to the "cry it out" method of getting kids to sleep. So if you support that "theory" then you may as well stop reading here, lest you get offended. I think babies crying at night are telling us they need us, they need comfort, they need to feel the body they lived in for 9 months. It seems unfair that they were right under our hearts for all those months, then we send them to their own room, far away from our warmth and comfort. I fully support co-sleeping and it's worked wonders for us as far as everyone in the family getting more sleep. No getting out of the warm bed to feed baby, no letting baby get totally awake and riled up before we hear him and get to him to nurse...at the first rustling, I can nurse him right back to sleep, neither of us fully waking up. It's been wonderful for us. I know there are a few families out there who have said no one got much sleep in the family bed...while I think that's rare, I imagine it can happen so co-sleeping isn't for everyone but I imagine most babies would prefer it if they could tell us. There are a lot of misconceptions out there concerning co-sleeping, and I think I covered a lot of that on the Positive Parenting page. I don't support the idea that babies need to be taught how to sleep. If you've spent any time with a newborn you'll know they don't need to be taught how to sleep. It's like saying they need to be taught how to breathe! My kids have all slept with us, and they sleep fine without us now (except Mace, who's does sleep fine but still with us as he's not yet ready to venture out of the family bed).
I think the key is just being available to your baby at night. Being there to nurse him when he wakes up, being there to help him get to sleep when he is having trouble. I think the key at first is just getting them to the understanding that night is for sleeping. Keeping the room quiet and dark, talking in hushed tones and again, nursing/rocking/parenting back to sleep.
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