THING MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME, a satire

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

(a satire)

"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

"If you don't pass your spelling test,

you'll never get a good job!"

"Put your sweater on; don't you think that

I know when you're cold?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Answer me when I talk to you...Don't YOU talk back to me!"

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

"How do you think you got here?"

"You are just like your father!"

"Close the door, were you born in a barn?"

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

"Just wait until your father gets home."

"You are going to get it when we get home."

"When you grow up and have a kid, I hope he acts just like YOU!"

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