Welcome Daa-aaa-aaa-ahlings! How Maa-aaa-aaa-ahvelous That You Are Here!  I will gladly answer your question, but you must let me know a wee bit about you and your previous experience with other caprines. I wouldn't want to seem too capricious with my answer for those who have yet to venture into the wild and flip side of Capriculture. To submit your question, click on "Ask Cecelia" in the left hand button panel. Below you may read all my maa-ahvelous answers to those who have wisely sought out my maa-ahvelous advice. I kid you not! *wink*

Q:  Regarding the questions about the two bred does...(Worrier 01/13/2000)

A:  These questions are of a more sensitve nature than is normally dealt with in this "Question and Answer" format, which is set up more for humor than serious advice. But if you will email my owner directly with your email address, she will respond immediately with my answer. Have patience Worrier, she will send my reply as soon as she hears from you.

Q:  How do you milk a cyber-goat? (LOL 9/30/99)

A:  Ahhhh LOL, I could join in and make a clever answer, "Why with a cyber-milking machine!" But as you should well know by now I am much, much too dignified for that. Any upstanding dairy goat, especially all my Alpine sisters, would never even consider "cybering" - REALLY! How could one possibly be milked when one's owner is busy typing away at the keyboard?

Q:  My name is Maddi, I'm a 6-month old doe living in western N.Y. My problem is this, I desperately want to try out for the Caprine Olympic Team (Vaulting is my specialty) and my owner won't let me. What should I do? (9/30/99)

A:  Dear Maddi, It can be so disappointing when one's owner doesn't acknowledge or recognize one's true talents. But all is not lost! If you are set on keeping this particular owner, you might want to explore other athletic avenues for drawing your owner's recognition - the "Rump Bump," the "Open-the-Latch," or the ever popular "Stay-at-Arm's-Length Walk-away" events. However, if you are head-set (as so many of our Caprine cousins tend to be) on vaulting, I would recommend that you practice every single chance you get. Then, with luck, your owner might send you to a new owner who would be more understanding and supportive of your sport!

Q:  This is Crystal Doe...Gwen thinks she owns me...:) Anyways..what would you do?! Gwen wants me to breed with Mr.Xcitement again this year. While he is a handsome American Alpine Cou Blanc, there is a new buckmuffin on the farm named Hot Flash - a Sundgau! I really, really love this new buck but alas, Gwen won't let me near him. She wants Mr. X and I to have one more doeling together. Should I bust out of the fence and meet up with Flash secretly while she is at work? So far I have succeeded in thwarting Gwen's attempts at getting Mr. X and me together, in hopes that she will see that I'm in love with Hot Flash. Oh.. what's a Doe to do? Please help! (9/29/99)

A:  Poor Crystal, I do understand the problem daa-aahling and my heart bleats for you. Owner's have a need to believe they alone know what's good for us...and usually if we let them it works to our advantage. However, in matters of love, our heart-felt wants are often disregarded. Oh, the Caprinity of it all!!! And fences if strong, can seldom be breached. But Flash is a new buck on the farm, and you can feel fairly certain that he will undoubtedly be there next year and hopefully your owner will consent to your courtship with him at that time. However, if you absolutely feel that you cannot wait, have you considered backing up against the fence if you are able? My owner had a Togg doe one year that tried it...you should have seen her face when those triplet kids were born looking like Alpines!

Q:  My Buck Brother has yet to even try to use his natural cologne like a normal buck would do, but he is out with all the does. None have kids so far. My owner won't let me have a chance. Is he any good? He has been with the does for 6 mos and no results. Do I need to let my owner know I can do the job and something might be wrong with him? He is 18 mos old and should know what he is doing. Please reply back soon. I need to get out of this buck pen! (Kool Guy 9/29/99)

A:  Ahhh Kool Guy,...young impetuous youth! Here you are all ready and set to prove your worth to both your owner and the does, and you feel that you are being ignored. But have you ever questioned why you are separated from the does and your buck brother is not? Perhaps your owner knows perfectly well how capable you are and incapable your brother is - I would hazard a guess that he's not quite the buck he once was. I predict that your time to court those lovely does will soon arrive. In the meantime, use your own cologne to full advantage...you will soon be noticed by everyone if you do!

Q:  I have two pygmy goats, Willie and Waylon. They are wethers (I think that is the right term for ones who have been fixed). They are not quite two years old, and I love them as much as my dogs. I was wondering approximately how long they live.  (S.O. 9/21/99)

A:  Well S.O., I am sixteen and my herdmate Velvet is fifteen years-old! But we both are "old" just like how older people get - we've got a little arthritis and we both are missing some of our teeth. And, I hate to admit it but we just don't get around like we used to. Most goats, if well cared for by their owners, will live 8 or even 10 years. Wethers, though, require a bit more attention to their diets in order to help keep their urinary systems healthy - they can be more prone to urinary blockages caused by calculi formation in their urethras. Calculi are mineral "stones" which can form in bucks and wethers. You can help prevent this by making sure they always have fresh water available at all times, limit their protein feed amounts (a 12% non-medicated ration is perfect!), make sure they have access to fresh grass and weeds, and never feed them alfalfa hay. They should always have a balanced goat mineral with salt available to. Keep them vaccinated on a yearly basis and worm them quarterly and that should do it. Hope you enjoy the company of Willie and Waylon for years to come!