This page will look a little plain for a while. I'm in a hurry to get it up and running. I think this will be a Journal of sorts and I feel the need to write today.

Today I watched the launch of another Space Shot. Doesn't that sound blase'?
Another Space Shot.

We're so used to them now that I don't even watch them most of the time. Our kids can't even remember when they weren't a fairly common event. We've come a long, long way.

I was born in 1937. We had no electricity, no running water, my parents didn't own a car. At that time people were just starting to climb out of the great depression and everyone lived in poverty. I think about how hard life must have been for families at that time and wonder at how they survived.

In my lifetime I have seen so many things happen that we take for granted.

I remember living in St. Louis during the war and feeling rich to have an electric light. No matter that it was a single bulb in the ceiling of a made over garage. Apartments were scarce. An icebox sat on the back porch. The ice truck came by and left ice for us. A kerosene cookstove seemed modern after cooking on a wood stove.

I woke my son up to watch the space crew walk on the moon. He was not impressed. He was only 7 or 8 at the time. But I wanted him to have that memory. He does remember being wakened and made to sit in front of the TV, not much more than that. But, I sure tried.

And, this afternoon, I watched the launch of another Space Shot.

One of the big news stories today (other than the launch) was that we have been invaded by beetles. Turns out they are lady bugs who are getting ready to hibernate. Came in here to write a little and guess what I saw running across the bottom of this page!

It's really time for me to go to bed but I had to write a few more lines first. You've no doubt noticed by now that I have a fondness for cats. Most of the pictures taken of me as a child have a cat in them somewhere. I've had many cats own me over the years and I must say I was always easy to train and pleasant to be around.

Now that this illness has captured me I can't have animals in the house. So, I find other ways to enjoy them. I love the graphics you will see on these pages and I love to hear about the antics of other people's pets. Once a catlover, always a catlover. If you had any hope of the cats leaving here you're just out of luck. We always pick up strays.

Talk about uncanny! Finished this last entry in the wee hours and this
morning I had mail from my cousin in South Missouri. She is owned by a
cat named Cally. She also writes poetry and I know at least one children's
book, maybe more. She sent this poem to me and I asked her to let me put
it on this page. She graciously agreed.

With paws on my shoulder, she purrs her requests.
So I feed her;
After she bathes and bathes, the chase begins:
She crouches, watching for me to move.
I hiss, she bounds
Across the floor, over the chair, up on the table;
I follow, she scrambles, races past,
Jumps on the bed, off the bed, under the bed, out from under, with
Headlong swoop dodging me and making the circle again.
Anyone watching would think me crazy and her possessed.

In bed, I feel her flop next to me,
Turning and coiling to be close as covers allow
Weighting the quilt so tugging and pulling are required.
(Awake, she’s eight pounds; asleep she’s a twenty-pound sack of flour.)
She hardly moves, waits til I’m set again, snuggles close.

Mornings, before I’m ready, she’s at my face
Eager for the day;
Paws gently pat my face-- cat napping is over.
So
I get up, feed her, play with her, and leave for work
Knowing when I return, she’ll be waiting to
Pace in front of me, waiting her opportunity--

by Joy Grogan

My thanks to Joy for sharing this.

I'm writing just before bedtime again. This may become a habit. Today (or rather, yesterday) was election day. I did something I'd never done before. I voted an absentee ballot. Since I can't depend on being able to get out at a certain time it was the sensible thing to do. It seemed so important to me to vote. I never feel like I have the right to complain if I don't. There weren't any really HOT issues locally but my vote is in there.

Working on these pages has become an obsession. I'm spending most of my time here now. Spent a lot of time today doing little housekeeping things. Locating errors and correcting them, adding a graphic or two, each time I read it I see something I could have done better.

I talked to my good friend Kitty yesterday. We have known each other most of our lives. We have been close friends for a long time. Like most families in this day and age we moved around and were in and out of touch with each other at various times. But each time we met again it was like there had been no "break in service". We seem to pick up right where we left off.

She is a breast cancer survivor. I know she went through a horrible time with several surgeries and chemo treatment. I don't know how she made it through all that but she did. She looks at me now and thinks I have the most horrible situation. When we talk and I'm short of breath she breathes as hard as I do. We laugh about it and I tell her to go ahead and breathe, I'll catch up. We formed a mutual admiration society, each of us thinking the other had a far worse time.

It makes me think we got the diseases we were supposed to get. Just could not have handled the pain of the other one. The Creator does know what he's doing.

Election day has come and gone and the world is still turning. Isn't it amazing how little difference it makes in our day to day lives? The only thing that changes immediately is the television programming. As usual, I won some and lost some. This past year has been so hurtful to our country and I'm glad to see things moving on. Hopefully we will soon see a reasonable ending to the impeachment process and start thinking about what we can do to make life better for all of us.

Our weather has been gray and gloomy and I'm afraid it's made me feel a little gray and gloomy too. I've been turning on more lights and listening to happy music to keep things brightened up. I have found, over the years, that music does more to alter my moods than almost anything. When I have a lively tune playing in the background my feet will start moving and I'll soon be humming along. I highly recommend it. It is a little difficult to type in time to the music.

And, for a little more fun for your day be sure and click on the four leaf clover.

John Glenn is back on Planet Earth safe and sound. They traveled millions of miles the past ten days and I thought it showed on him when he came out to do the walk around. I'm sure he is okay but I'll be glad to see him tomorrow when hopefully he will be rested and sound exhuberant again. It's been so much fun to hear him talk with such passion about this mission and his part in it. He certainly has put a new face on those of us called "Older Americans". Thanks John! We needed that.

The weatherman hasn't seen fit to send me any sunshine yet. And, he's even mentioned the possibility of snow flurries tonight. I refuse to look until morning. Maybe they will have come and gone and I won't even know it.

I wish I could do that with the things I worry about. Just not look till morning. And then maybe the problems would solve themselves and I'd never have to be concerned. Problems do solve themselves sometimes without my help. Now if we could just find that button to push on worry that says "Don't Look till Morning" there would be a good many of us sleep a lot better.

This is the time of year when we get more and more catalogs in the mail. One of my e-mail friends told me yesterday that she got 12 catalogs in the mail that day. I always enjoy looking at them, most don't tempt me, but a lot of people consider them a nuisance. I remember when they were a very vital part of our lives.

We got "big" catalogs twice a year. Spring and Summer and Fall and Winter. The days the catalog came were very good days. That's when you could see what was fashionable to wear, what the new shoes looked like, maybe even some pretty undies. One thing for sure, that book wouldn't lie idle for a while. Someone would be looking through it almost all the time.

When you lived in rural Missouri the catalogs were the source for most of your "store bought" clothing. And they gave you ideas for the clothing you could make at home. We got one from Sears Roebuck and Montgomery Ward. Some years we would get one from Aldens and once in a great while we would get a Speigal catalog. They, however, were more expensive so we didn't order from them. We also got a smaller catalog from National Bellas Hess. They were the least expensive of all the mail order companies and were the source of supply for most of our underwear. No one would see it anyway so cheap was the main objective.

Catalogs were even part of our social life. It was very common for someone to bring their catalog and come over to see you. We would make coffee and sit at the table and shop together. Kitty and I spent hours and hours looking at catalogs together.

When you borrowed a catalog from someone you didn't dare use their order blanks. You only got a few in each catalog and when they were gone you had to write letters to order things. The companies would send new order blanks with the packages but they sometimes forgot and they sometimes got lost. And you returned catalogs promptly. If you didn't, the next time you wanted to borrow you might be told that "someone else had the book right now".

And when the Christmas catalogs came it was really exciting for the kids. All the toys were there and in vivid color. Many long hours were spent looking and deciding what you really wanted most for Santa to bring. And, you kept changing your mind right up to the last minute.

I stopped ordering from catalogs for a long, long time. I was able to go out and shop and find things and enjoyed doing it. Now I find that I'm catalog shopping more and more. And enjoying the packages being delivered. Each is like a present to open. I never really remember for sure what I ordered.

I think the cycle is turning again. Except for one thing. We don't take the old catalogs to the outhouse anymore.

Today is my Dad's birthday. He would have been 88 years old today had he lived. Many people do live that long now but he died young. He had a massive heart attack at age 53. Looking back, I know that he probably had emphysema too. The symptoms were all there. It was quite a loss to me when he died. I was a "Daddy's girl". I loved my Dad better than anything and wanted to spend every minute I could with him. He was very good company. My life was always much better when he was around.

He taught me to sing. We sang old folk songs together. He had a beat up guitar and knew a few chords. We made beautiful music together. Our favorites were about twenty verses of Barbara Allen, Froggie Went a Courtin' and, much to my Mother's chagrin, Preacher and the Bear. She felt that was not a good Christian song.

I remember living in the pole woods in Colorado when I was small. Dad would snowshoe out to get supplies. He would go down the mountain to the commissary and come home with everything in a gunny sack. He looked like a poor man's Santa Claus. There was always a bit of candy in the bag for me.

He never yelled at me. All he had to do was say "Now kid" and he had my complete attention. He was a special person and my happy memories of childhood revolved around him. He was a hard working, honest man and I still want my actions to please him. If I ask myself what Dad would think I know what direction to go.

Here I am again in the middle of the night, just before going to bed. Everything gets quiet and peaceful this time of night and I seem to be able to think more clearly.

After several days of sunshine, woke up this morning to a cloudy sky. Looked like winter was coming again. Most of the leaves have fallen now and while the temperatures are still warm you just know it's coming.

When we moved here in 1986 Ralph planted some trees in the back yard to help provide some much needed shade and privacy. Our lot here is very small and we have been used to living on an acre plus so we felt the lack of privacy very much. He put two maple trees out and they grew very well. Two or three years ago one of them died. We still don't know what caused it, no one seemed to be able to tell us. We were just sick about it. But, the other tree thrived and is now my "deck tree".

It shades the deck and the dining room window in the summer and offers a home to nesting birds. This time of year when the leaves start falling we can see how many homesteaders we had during the summer. Right now the tree is a beautiful gold color. By the weekend the leaves will be gone. Then all the backyards will be visible and all the machinery that it takes to keep a yard will be in view. Several little storage sheds will appear and one big blue plastic swimming pool that has been drained and covered for the winter.

Now it's time to buy bird feed, get the feeder in good shape and wait for the first snow. We'll feed the birds and squirrels and enjoy them all. And while I sit there and read my paper and drink my coffee and watch the birds eat, I'll keep an eye out for the first sign of spring.

I was feeling lazy today and tried to watch TV. I was faced with my same problem on the weekends. A lot of ball games of this kind and that, which don't interest me or news commentators still talking about the same thing we've been listening to for so long. Not much of a choice for me. So I found my way back to the computer.

We've been hearing a lot about lies. What is a lie? When is it perjury? What is it okay to lie about?

I remembered something that happened to me when I was about 4 years old. We were in the camps in the pole woods. I've written about that earlier and about Dad teaching me songs.

There was a couple living near us that was a bit older. He was a foreman in the woods. I can't remember their name but it started with a B. Mom and I sometimes visited in their home. Mrs. B. always asked me to sing for her. And, when I did, she always had a treat for me. A piece of candy, or some jelly and bread, always something sweet. So, I was more than happy to entertain her. She would always ask me if I knew a new song.

I was allowed to go there by myself sometimes and one occasion in particular is what came to mind today. Mrs. B was glad to see me and I told her that I had a new song for her. She sat down in her rocking chair and I stood in front of her and started singing. Now, since I didn't have a new song I had to make one up. I thought I was doing fine until I noticed her sniffling into her hanky. A little tear or two came and soon she was boohooing and crying and terribly upset. I didn't know what to do or say and before long I just started crying along with her.

She finally collected herself and explained to me what made her cry. She told me that it made her so sad for little girls to tell lies that it broke her heart. And it always made her cry. Well, I could vouch for that! I, of course, promised her that I would never do that again and we parted friends. But, I didn't get my treat.

When I got back home Mom asked how Mrs. B was. And I burst out crying again. I knew I was in trouble. So, I told my story, trying to make my blame as small as possible, but not succeeding. I ended up with a spanking which didn't hurt nearly as much as watching Mrs. B cry.

I've thought of her often over the years. I can still see her clearly. I wish I could say that I never ever told another lie. But I can't. I can say that I surely did think about any time I played loosely with the truth. I knew first hand that you could hurt people with a lie. Maybe if we all had people in our lives that were willing to teach us life lessons in kindness the world would be a nicer place. And, maybe we wouldn't be hearing all this sad commentary on television.

Today is Thanksgiving Day. The weather here is beautiful and warm. I'm always glad not to have bad roads for the holiday travelers.

This year I have a new reason to be thankful. This week I had a letter from a long ago friend and we've started a correspondence. We've been walking down memory lane together, remembering school days and things we got into. I'm sure there will be a story or two to tell but that will be later.

In her note this morning she said something about two little country girls using computers to email each other and travel the world on the web. The concept of using a computer was beyond our imagination then. We were learning to use manual typewriters and we thought we were pretty cool doing that. We had Underwood and Royal typewriters and everyone tried to get to class early for a Royal. Those machines are now collectibles but not very good ones.

And this year we're thankful for healthy families and friends. We have an abundance of food, warm, comfortable homes and a wealth of things to keep us entertained.

Ralph said maybe we should be thankful for things we don't have. And I think he's right. When you look at the news and see people starving, being flooded, young people dying in the streets, you know that there are those who are in dire straits and think about how lucky we are not to be there.

So, today I am thankful for things I have and also for things I don't have. The balance is working well at our house.

It is really a joy to renew an old friendship. The e-mmail has been flying back and forth and the memories are rushing in. The names we can't remember are bothersome. Slowly, we're catching up in general terms. We're planning on a real live meeting one day soon and then come the details.

We've talked about several things we got into and out of, like broken bed slats on a cold winter night, a teacher we learned to maneuver into talking about the "old days" so we didn't have to take a test, and many others. But, sometimes, I managed to get into trouble without this friend. And sometimes she was very glad not to have been with me when I accomplished that feat.

One of those times was during our Freshman year of high school. I was dating a Senior boy and felt pretty big for my britches. When it was time for Senior sneak day I was faced with a major problem. The school system didn't mind for the Seniors to take a sneak day but they didn't allow anyone other than Seniors to participate. Well!!! What girl is going to let her boyfriend go off for a whole day of fun without her? Not this one!!! I knew I would be in trouble but it was just a chance I'd have to take. Only one thing could keep me from going and that was Mom. Had she not told me I could go I would have to stay home. I was too afraid of her to disobey. But, wonder of wonders she gave me permission. <

So, away we went. As it turned out there were several non-Seniors along that day. We went to two State Parks in the area. Drove around the country side feeling terribly important and had a barrel of fun. We came back to town just as it was getting dark that night. We met some friends on the Square and discovered that there was an emergency school board meeting in progress to determine our fate.

This was not welcome news. No one I knew wanted to be the topic of conversation at a School Board Meeting. Needless to say, I didn't rest well that night. Next morning I was up early and got my note from Mom and headed to school. I knew I was in trouble and in those days they still applied the board of education. So, I thought I'd be smart to get there early and get it over with before the building filled up.

I went into the Superintendant's office with my excuse from Mom, trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary. He silently took the piece of paper and read it. I stood and waited for him to say something. Finally, he said, Did you hsve a good time yesterday? I managed to squeak out a "Yes, Sir". He said, was it worth two letters on your quarterly grades? I choked out "I hope so" and was dismissed.

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I was relieved not to have been the recipient of whacks from the Board, but devasted at the reduction in my grades. I was never athletic and my grades were my source of pride. The punishment was swift and made it's point. I could not blame anyone but myself. And another educational experience was mine. My grades were high enough not to cause me a problem but there were two students who failed to graduate because of this experience.

It seemed harsh and maybe it was. But I wonder if we might get better results from our educationsl system today if we administered some swift, harsh punishment for those who defy the rules of the system. Maybe a little fear isn't such a bad thing.

We've reached the end of November and I was looking at this page and how it's grown in the short time I've had it here. It is getting rather slow to load and I think we need to rethink how to do this. So, I'm going to start a new page, linked to this one for December. We'll see how it progresses for the month and we may just have a new page every month. I'm thoroughly enjoying having a journal and maybe this will make it a little more pleasant for you to read. I'll place the link at the top of the page and you can start there the next time you visit. You are always welcome to read all this one too if you want. But, if you're in a hurry this should help.

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