Mary Evelyn Johnson
June 22, 1937 ~ May 23, 2001

It is with sadness in my heart that the time has arrive to fullfill a promise to a friend.

Mary Evelyn Johnson, known as Evelyn to family and some friends, and Mary to myself and other friends passed away on May 23, 2001.

For those who are new to this site, Mary suffered from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or more commonly known as COPD. Many who hears that term immediately thinks of a smoker's illness, but in actuality, COPD is a broader term for a host of Respiratory illnesses, which does include emphysema, which was the form of Mary's.

Mary talked of wanting to start a site when one of our cyberfriends started one. After viewing a "journal" on the web that a cancer patient had wrote, she said she  liked the idea and wanted to do a site similar to that. She wanted to share her life, her illness, and experiences with others in the hopes that it might help others. She tried to provide information and links for sites on COPD, as well as how she dealt with certain restrictions from the illness.  Above all, it was her hope that if her site would just help one person avoid starting or  to quit smoking and avoid having to live with COPD, then her work and efforts were not in vain. Together, Mary and I started our own webpages and I can assure all that Mary loved each minute that she could spend working on hers. It has frustrated her that the physical constraints of her illness has prevented her from adding to her pages in the past several months. To "lighten things" she added humor, shared her family and friends and created a "Peaceable Kingdom".  Mary also hoped to provide a place where her family and friends could come to visit whenever they felt the need to be close to her.

Not long after Mary started her site, she told me that she needed a way to let all who visit know when her journey on Earth ended and that she was starting a new journey on another dimension. My promise to Mary was to link her final page when I heard the news of her passing. Tonight I am honoring that promise as a way to honor her memory as well.

There is so much I want to say about Mary, but I don't even know how to get started.  Mary's last leg of her journey was a rough one. Beside the decline in her own health, she had to witness the decline in the health of her soul mate, Ralph  and all to soon Ralph started his journey in that next demension on February 17, 2001.  This was an unexpected twist for Mary in her journey as she always expected to take that walk first.   With the love of friends she walked forward in her journey to carry out the plans that she and Ralph had made. She knew she would not be able to remain in her own home and she moved into an assisted living facility in March, near her surrogate family ~ Judy, Joe, Brett and Lauren.  She was happy once she got settle in her own "nest", but she truly missed her "Ralphie"  and it got harder for her to go on.  Her health steadily declined and on May 17, 2001 she was admitted to the hospital. The news was not good for her family or friends . Mary was preparing for her next journey, but she wasn't quite ready. Family and friends decided that Mary wanted to be in her own home. I know personally that that is what she had hoped and wished for. She was moved back to her "nest" and Hospice would come in .  From what I was told,  she stepped peacefully into her next journey not even an hour after being told she was back in her own room and when she was ready  ~ she was free to continue onto her next journey with the blessings of all who loved her.

Mary and Ralph touched so many lives over the years. They truly were a special couple and it was easy to see how one could not last long without the other.

I met Mary and Ralph through the computer in February 1997, and from that a lasting friendship grew. Along with others,  we formed a group.  Mary referred to us as her "chicks" and she was our Mother Hen. Ralph ~ he was "The Chef". He kept our Mary well fed and tempted us with recipes and tales of what he was cooking.  Together they worked and sent each one in our group a cookbook and we all cherish the trivets Ralph made.

I had the pleasure of flying out in May 1998 and meeting them. Sadly, I have never been able to make a return trip, but we kept in touch with email and often by phone.  The thing that always stood out about Mary was her eyes. I remembering looking at them and the word that always came to mind was peace.   With Ralph it was his huge smile and his laughter. Above all, the love stood out and they shared that love with many others.

Both, afflicted by a disease that will only get worse with time, were determined to live their life to the fullest. As you read through Mary's site,  you will see how they worked around physical restrictions. The biggest thing that help as well was being in contact with the outside world through their computer.  Even though they couldn't travel anymore from their home, they went traveling each day from their computer and they made many friends along the way. In one of my calls to the hospital, Mary's friend, Lucy, mentioned it surprised her how many calls there was from all around the United States.  It didn't really surprise me.

I do want to take time to mention a few of Mary's and Ralph's friend, before I link her final pages. Mary worried often about when the time grew closer how they were going to manage with her son living in another state and Ralph's daughter having many commitments with her job and family. We talked often about the relationship I had with an elderly man and how he became a "surrogate family member". She knew from our many talks that he shared the same illness as her and Ralph and how much help was going to be needed in time.  Neither wanted to have to impose on their children. It was my prayer as well as Mary that along with good friends, such as Norma, Lorie, Evelyn, Carole and Lucy,  that someone would come along and "adopt" them. God does answer prayers.

As I sit her now, I have a smile  for my friend:

Judy, Joe, Brett and Lauren came along and before too long Mary realized her and Ralph were "adopted". A young couple with teenagers, but a very special family.  I can hear the joy in Mary's and Ralph's voice as they talked about their new "family". On the days that Mary voice would sound weary on the phone it would light up when she started to talk of them.  I remember the day I said " Mary - do you think you were adopted" and she said "I believe so, Judy could not do any more for us than if she was our own daughter and Brett and Lauren are like grandchildren ~ I get such a tickle when they all come to see me."

With the help of Judy and her family, as well as  many other friends, Ralph and Mary were able to live their lives pretty much to the end as they wish.  At the end, her family, adopted family and friends took turns to stay constantly at Mary's side. I know that had to have brought Mary a great amount of joy.

In honor of Mary and Ralph's memory I would like to take the time to ask each and everyone who reads through Mary's site, to look deep into your hearts then look around. If you see  a person who is ill, or an elderly person who doesn't have family or a family near by, someone you feel is in need of a friend ~ reach out and lend a hand.  Sometimes just stopping by for a cup of coffee  and saying hello is all that is needed to lift the spirits of another. Other times it might be the offer of doing an errand or two. Sometimes it may be a little more involved and you find yourself stepping in to be a caregiver.  There is so many ways to help another. One can call the local Area Agency on Aging and volunteer. Call your local Home Health or Hospice office. Contact the church.  I know as a Home Health nurse there is a great need for volunteers to help the elderly and shut ins. Considering becoming a surrogate family member.  It takes a deep commitment, but the rewards of knowing you made a difference in another's life are worth the time involved.

To Mary and Ralph ~ I hold your love within my heart and I find peace in closing my eyes and seeing the two of you walking hand in hand as you start another journey again.

Jeanne
 

When I went to link Mary's final page, I noted she had started another page on May 10, 2001. I don't feel she had this page completed, but I wanted to link it as well. HeartBreak It was Mary's hope that her site will always be here and I have no intentions of taking it down. If it is taken down at anytime, it will be the decision of Geocities/ Yahoo to do so. I will be going in and fixing some links that I know are broken. If anyone wants to report a broken link, please email me.
Jeanne