I have an undergraduate degree in physics and, though I am not working in
that field, I have spent time with those who are. Contrary to popular belief,
physicists are not pointdexter dweebs--they are funny, vulgar and crude. Good folks.
In 1998 at Case Western Reserve they had a conference allegedly about microgravity
transport phenomena. I happen to know the code words they used in advertising
the conference and present them below. (This is sort of like revealing a magician's
secrets.)
Official Title of Paper
|
Title Translated into Plain English
|
Thermocapillary Flows with Low Frequency g-Jitter |
Constipated Eskimo farting at a summer concert |
Attenuation of Gas Turbulence by a Nearly Stationary Dispersion
of Fine Particles |
Seated musician's splatter fart |
Fluid physics in a Fluctuating Acceleration Environment |
Wet fart in an elevator |
Constrained Vapor Bubble |
Scuba diver fart |
Frontal Polymerization in Microgravity |
Space shuttle cockpit fart |
Effective Forces Between Colloidal Particles |
Squeezed out lumpy farts |
Absolute and Convective Instability of a Liquid Jet |
Diarrhea on a roller coaster |
Linear Viscoelasticity of Hard Sphere Crystals from Resonance Detected
with Dynamic Light Scattering |
Rock candy farts at a fireworks display |
Weakly Nonlinear Description of Parametric Instabilities in Vibrating
Flows |
Cheek flapping fart |
Analogies between Colloidal Sedimentation and Turbulent Convection
at High Prandt Numbers |
Mathematician farting while flushing the toilet |
Dynamics of the Molten Contact Line |
Burner fart |
Two-Phase Flows |
Burping and farting |
Inertial Effects in Suspension Dynamics |
Loose stool in a toilet on a train |