Connor Edward Sargent
September 29, 1998 at 9:21 p.m.
7 pounds 6 ounces
CONNOR'S STORY
I had longed to get pregnant
again but didn't think that
it would happen, we thought
our family was complete
with two beautiful girls
and one angel in heaven.
But God had something else
planned for us. I found out
that I was pregnant again
in Jan 1998. I couldn't believe
that I was pregnant again. I didn't
know how my husband was going
to react to the news. My
youngest daughter was only
8months old, and we didn't
plan on another pregnancy.
I wanted another child but
my husband hadn't felt
the same way, so I thought.
We thought that Sarah was
going to be our last. Sarah
was a subsequent child.
Tyler had died six months
prior to me getting pregnant
with her. So I had been
pregnant for 2 years and
only got to bring home one baby.
Finally I was holding
another baby. My arms still
ached for Tyler but I loved
the feeling of holding
another life in my arms. I
so wanted to feel that again,
so even though I didn't
plan on getting pregnant I
was wishing for another baby.
Deep down I was glad I
got pregnant again and to
my surprise my husband was
thrilled with the news of
another baby. In the beginning
I had a great pregnancy, never
got sick. In fact I didn't know
I was pregnant in the beginning
until my period never arrived.
I was two weeks late but never
did I think I was pregnant. Everything
was going great I didn't gain
much weight and I felt terrific.
The appointments were going well,
I had a scare at 13 weeks but on
the ultrasound we found the baby's
heartbeat. My oldest daughter,
who was almost 5, asked if it
was a boy. She had wanted a brother
so badly after Tyler died. My doctor
and I laughed and told her we
couldn't tell yet. With each passing
day my fears decreased, I
couldn't wait to hold my
baby in my arms. The
pregnancy progressed well.
I had an ultrasound
to make sure everything
was OK because of what
happened to Tyler. I knew
everything was fine because
how could anything go
wrong again. God wanted us
to have this child I knew
that because of the way I had
gotten pregnant, I conceived
after my period was due.
So when the doctor told us
he saw something on the ultrasound
I couldn't believe it how could
it possibly happen again.
They wanted to do an
amniocentesis to rule out
Trisomy 18, which is fatal.
The next week would be very
stressful waiting to find out
what was going to happen to
my unborn child. May 1st.
came and I called for
the results. GOOD NEWS the
baby was fine. I asked
what the baby was, I knew
in my heart it was another boy,
so when she said it was
a boy I started to cry.
My husband was so nervous he
asked what was wrong?
I thanked the woman and
then told my husband it was
a boy. We were so delighted
we couldn't wait to tell everyone
we were going to have a
HEALTHY boy. I told my father
first because he was
really nervous; he had just
had emergency open-heart surgery.
I was glad to be able
to tell him that he was
going to have another grandson.
We had already decided
on the name Connor because
of a dream I had. So he
became known as Connor Edward,
Edward after my husband. The
pregnancy continued along great.
Connor was a very active little
guy and I enjoyed every kick
and punch. I would rock him
in what would become his room.
As the days passed so did some
of my anxiety. I knew everything
would be all right. We had
decided to let nature take its
course so I decided not to
be induced. I had already had
a healthy baby since
Tyler died and I had passed
the 30-week mark so nothing
could happen. I had another
scare in my 32 week. I didn't
feel him move much so I
contacted my doctor and he
told me because of my
history why don't I go
and have a nonstress test.
I contacted my husband,
he was at work, and he met
me at the hospital. Everything
was fine Connor was moving
and his heartbeat was fine. I had
felt so silly after I got to
the hospital but my doctor
didn't mind, he reassured
me anytime I didn't feel the
baby move I could come in
and be checked. The end of my
pregnancy was fast approaching
so I decided to start the
nursery. I had to get everything
right for my little baby boy.
I picked out everything
with such care and friends
made things for the wall.
Everything was coming out great.
His room had a NASCAR theme,
Ted loves car racing. It was
perfect; my father finished his
shelf, which would be
over the changing table to
put the wipes, cotton balls
and the qtips. I couldn't wait
for Connor to arrive. I took
everyone up to see his room.
Finally I decided it was time
to pack my bag. So at
38 weeks I packed it, I was
already to go. I went to my
doctor's appointment at 39
weeks and I was only 2cm and I was
still thick but I could have
him anytime. My doctor told me
he didn't think I would
make it until next week but
schedule an appointment. So
I did, my next appointment
would be one day after
my due date. I waited and
waited hoping labor would start.
Finally I thought I was
going into labor, it was Sunday
Sept 27, 1998. I told Ted I
think this is it the contractions
were different. But as I went to
bed in hopes of being woken
up to go to the hospital to have
the little guy and to finally hold
him in my arms the sun rose
and the pains stopped. I was
starting to get discouraged,
I didn't think he was
ever going to come. The next day
was my doctors appointment I
decided I had to have the baby
I wanted to hold him
so I was going to ask to be
induced. When he went to check
the heartbeat, like he always did,
there was no heartbeat. He
told me it was probably because the
baby had moved down so he wanted to
check me. I was still 2cm and thick
but he also didn't feel the baby
so he wanted to check with an
ultrasound to see where
he was. At that point is when
I became alarmed. My husband
tried to reassure me that
everything was OK.
I knew he had to right because
we already lost one son it
couldn't possibly happen
again. When my doctor was doing
the ultrasound, it was so quiet in
that room, I just wanted to scream
would you stop fooling around
and just show us the heartbeat! I
finally got up the courage to
ask the question that I didn't
want the answer to. I said
"there's no heartbeat is there"?
The answer I got in return I was not
prepared for, the answer was no. I
couldn't believe it; I had to bury
another child. He asked us what
we wanted to do. I said I had to
go home first I wanted to
tell my 5y.o. that her brother had
gone to heaven. Tyler wanted Connor
to play with. As I held Megan I
just kept wishing I could run
away and take all her pain away.
I so wanted to spare her
of this pain she was feeling
yet again. I am suppose to
protect her and keep harm and
pain from her and yet I had
to tell her that her baby brother
had died, again. It was by far
the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I went into the hospital
that afternoon to be induced.
I knew I was going to have him
that day I just thought
I would be able to bring him
home when I left. It took 6 hrs.
But I delivered a very healthy
looking baby boy; he just didn't
have a heartbeat. I left the
hospital the next day without my son,
again. I long to hold both my
boys again and someday we will
be together until then I think
of him everyday and love
him more and more. I didn't
think I could ever survive the
loss of another child
but I have and in time I
will be together with both
of my sons. I have two very
special angels watching
over my family.
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