Welcome to the Law Enforcement Forum's Domestic Violence Information page. This page is currently under construction, as we are researching the latest issues and assistance programs for victims of Domestic Abuse.

I know it may not seem true, but there IS help available. If you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Abuse, notify your local Police Department or Court-Appointed Domestic Violence Victim's Advocate for assistance.

I asked K9Narc to dedicate part of his home page to the fight against Domestic Violence. So, with his help, and the help of local, state and federal authorities, I hope to provide you with the most accurate information possible.

I won't bore you with statistics right now... I'll save that for later. Right now, you're probably asking yourself on what authority do I speak. My answer to that is personal experience. Allow me to share just a piece of my experience with you.

Before I met, fell in love with, and married K9Narc, I was married to someone you might never suspect to be abusive. For almost 9 years I put up with verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse. Because I tried to convice not only myself, but everyone around me that nothing was wrong, I kept letting it happen. That's MY fault.

Shortly after we were married, I was so tired of the abuse I had been getting for so long, that I fled to another state, but he followed me... making promises and handing out apologies like they were candy. So, I caved in and forgave him, helped him move, and tried to make a better life out of the mess it had become.

I learned, however, that it wouldn't last. In the state where we were married, he already had one conviction of domestic violence on his record. The sentence was 13 weeks of Anger Management classes (which I'll go into later). Like a fool, I stayed with him and supported him through it.

In 1992 I obtained a restraining order (No Contact Order), hoping it would protect me and help him realize that he couldn't keep abusing me. When he ransacked my home one day while I was at work, I called the police, but they allowed him access to the home to take whatever it is he wanted.

Shortly afterwards, he apologized again, and again, I forgave him. It wasn't long after that, though, that the physical abuse started again.

Now, I'm not talking about just slaps on the face, or being pushed into a wall, not that those aren't horrible either. I'm talking choking, punching, kicking, popping eardrums... hospitalization type of stuff.

And let me reassure you... NO ABUSE IS RIGHT... NO MATTER HOW BIG OR HOW LITTLE !!! It all starts with a simple little slap or push or punch, but then it works into all night boxing sessions, with you being the punching bag. And this doesn't apply to women only. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men abused as well !

In 1995 I had finally had enough. In March, while he was at annual training, miles away, I packed up my belongings, and moved into a little apartment on a side road, in a quiet residential area where I THOUGHT I'd be safe.

I obtained the Order for Protection in May of 1995, and from the day it was issued, until April of 1996, he had 16 charges of Violating the Order for Protection that he had to answer for. Believe me, those are not even a FRACTION of the amount of phone calls I received.

I appeared at every hearing date, every trial date, all of it. The depressing part of it was that no matter how much hell I went through, no matter how much of my time had been sucked up by all of it (the abuse, the recovery, the therapy, the court dates), he was sentenced to three years of probation, is not allowed to possess or carry a firearm during the probation, and served only 7 of 10 days in the Work Release Program. The three days suspended were for good behavior. And it was deducted from his sentence BEFORE he even went in.

In 1996, when the order was set to expire, I applied to have it renewed indefinately (no expiration date). When I went to court, I was sitting in room with 6 other women who were there for the same thing... Orders for Protection. Of course, we were the last ones heard that day.

To my surprise, of the seven of us, I was the ONLY one there to renew my Protection Order. The other six ladies were there to drop there POs. I was shocked ! They actually wanted it to be safe for the MEN to return home to beat the living tar out of them ! I must have cried that night for hours.

I have left that state, and now live with a wonderful man who would rather die than hurt me. And now, I want to do all I can to help the men, women, and children who are victims of Domestic Violence. This madness cannot continue. We must stand together and fight Domestic Violence just as we do every other horrible crime that exists today.

And I must tell you... as disgusted I am with the system the way it was then, it has improved greatly in the past year, and I will continue to encourage victim's to prosecute ! Every time the perpetrator violates the order, call 911. Tape record the conversation. Have witnesses. Anything you can do to build a strong case. This person who abuses you is sick. He/She needs help. The BEST thing you can do for him/her is to press charges. The more you allow it to continue, the more it will, and the worse it will get.

I want you to know, you aren't alone. I am here with you. I have been there, done that, and have the T-shirt to prove it. I am going to dedicate part of my life to changing the system, finding better programs for victims, and getting the information out there where it can be found easily. So many people continue accepting the abuse because they don't know there is a way out. I want to be the voice that says, "HEY, OVER HERE !!". But until that happens, there are things you can do:

Look in the blue pages of your telephone book. If you don't have one, call your local police department or sherriff's office (call the business line, only call 911 if it's an emergency). Ask them for the name and phone number of the Domestic Violence Victim's Advocate in your area. The DVVA can help you find a "safe house" and other resources to assist you in getting out of the circle of abuse.

It's not easy. It's even frightening. But you have to take care of YOU.

Be safe, and come back to visit. I'll be posting more information as I get it, and I'll be changing the page to keep more information available to you. Take care !

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© 1997 peachezzz@juno.com