Welcome to my "redneck" room!

First, being a true redneck is a work of art and a state of mind. Not all are blessed with this gift. So for the rest of the world and all the "redneck" wanna-be's...dream on and wish upon a star...but leave the rednecks alone.

First things first, one must know if they are a "redneck." Please take this test, and good luck(no one under a third cousin can grade the test for you.)

 This test really can't be cheated on... either you know answers or you don't.   Yankees may score a 2 or 3, whereas the natives typically score around 20+.   If you score over 50, you should be living in a trailer park with the Trans Am up on blocks.

 Score 3 points per correct answer.  You're given 1 point
              to start.  Answers follow below, so don't peek.....

                 1.How many Vienna Sausages are in a can?
                2.What was the number and color of Richard Petty's cars?
                3.Bill Dance is good at what?
                4.What university does Bill Dance root for?
                5.Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football?
                6.After boiling peanuts for an hour you have what?
                7.In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block
                   V8?
                8.A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language?
                9.What is a chigger?
               10.What is scrapple?
                11.Where is "The Redneck Riviera"?
               12.What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees?
               13.What follows logically?  Johnson,
                   Mercury,_______________.
               14.What's the common name for a bowfin?
               15.If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?
               16.Who sang "Your Cheatin' Heart"?
               17.What are grits made out of?
               18.Who was nicknamed "The Bear"
               19.Why is the Blue Ridge blue?
               20.What did The Baldwin Sisters make?
               21.Who was Andy Taylor's love interest?
               22.What are the radio station call letters that carries "The
                   Grand  Ol' Opry"?
               23.Where would you find Vidalia County?
               24.What sport requires 3 legs and a rope?
               25.What instrument did Bill Monroe play? (typically)
               26.How many strings on a banjo? (two possible answers)
               27.When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?
               28.What is a scuppernong?
               29.Do you want the goats to get into the kudzu?
               30.Why do you want to eat "high on the hog"?
               31.What color is a John Deere?
               32.What do you call the offspring of a mule?
               33.What will you harvest when you plant "shade"?
 

                 1.7
                2.43, red and blue
                3.Fishin'
                4.University of Tennessee
                5.University of Georgia
                6.Hard peanuts
                7.283
                8.French
                9.A red bug (small parasite)
               10.A sausage-like loaf made out of pig parts
                11.Panama City, FL
               12.Spanish moss
               13.Evinrude
               14.Mudfish
               15.Nothing.  A steer has been castrated.
               16.Hank Williams
               17.Corn
               18.Paul Bryant
               19.Because of the pollen
               20."The Recipe"
               21.Helen
               22.WSM
               23.Georgia
               24.Calf roping
               25.Mandolin
               26.5
               27.The same thing
               28.A wild grape
               29.Yes
               30.Because that's where the better cuts of meat are. Rich folks
                   live high on the hog.
               31.Green
               32.Another trick animal husbandry question.  Mules are
                   generally sterile.
               33.Tobacco

I hope you did well. I also would like to announce that yin-yang has
been voted in as an honorable mention "redneck".

Do you know this man?...If not leave NOW.

Another Test to See if...
You Might Be A Yankee If...
1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY.
3) You don't have any problems pronouncing
"Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4) You don't know what a moon pie is.
5) You've never had grain alcohol.
6) You've never, ever, eaten okra.
7) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
8) You have no idea what a polecat is.
9) You don't see anything wrong with putting
a sweater on a poodle.
10) You don't have bangs.
11) More than two generations of your family have been
kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
12) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all,"
you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
13) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
14) You have never planned your summer vacation
around a gun-and-knife show.
15) You think more money should go to important
scientific research at your university than to pay
the salary of the head football coach.
16) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
17) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone
from getting on a freeway on ramp.
18) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
19) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.
20) You don't know what applique is.
21) You don't know anyone with two first names (e.g. Joe Bob,
Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
22) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
23) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
24) None of your fur coats are homemade.
25) You think stock is an investment, not cattle or hawgs
26) You don't know the joys of shopping Wal Mart
27) You think the capital of Kentucky is pronounced Louieville.
(For the record, it is Frankfort.
The largest city in Kentucky is Lullvull.)
28) You think the capital of Alabama is Birmingham.
(For the record, it is Montgomery.
The largest city in Bama is Bumminham.)
29) You think Hank only sings for Monday Night Football.
30) You have a Blazer or Explorer and call it a truck.
Thankya Shy for the de test..she is the model female redneck. Fact is one cute heffer.

A topic to be disscussed later is "The War of Northern Agression"...