Actual church announcemets:
Don't let worry kill you---let the church help.
Thursday night-potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
Thursday at 5:00pm there will be a meeting of the little mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Other funny stuff:
How can you tell if your sour cream goes bad?
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather......not
yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Words to live by:
Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling when you feel like stripping your gears.
It's better to be silent and considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
When God measures a man, he puts the tape around the heart instead of the head.
A persons true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.
The bridge you burn now may be the one you later have to cross.
Some people complain because God put thorns on roses, while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.
Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
Conscience is God's built in warning system. Be very happy when it hurts you. Be very worried when it doesn't.
The measure of a man's character is not what he gets form his ancestors, but what he leaves his descendants
Falling down doesn't make you a failure, but staying down does.
