Is what I go by!
I got arrested for public intoxication and went to court and the
judge said, "Hillbilly
you can either have two weeks of AA meetings or ten days in the
county jail." Of course
I took the two weeks of AA meetings, and on the second week of
the AA meetings I
got caught with a fifth of whiskey in my pocket. So then you know
where they sent me?
They sent me to AAA and I said "I don't need a freakin map, I know
where to go to get
drunk!"
I got so drunk on my uncle's moonshine one night that I backed
out of this old honky
tonks parking lot and forget to put it in first gear, so I was
backing up all the way
down the highway, with the law chasing me, but I was so messed
up I thought I was following
the law. After I crashed my 69 Dodge Charger 500 with a 426 HEMI,
the law asked me
"Hillbilly, do you need a ambulance?" I said, "Hell no, I need
a bartender because
Im still conscious!" So the next morning I was so hung over I didn't
feel like going to
court, so I asked my horse, Coty, if it was alright to ride him
to Indiana. He said, "As
long as you can feed me, you can ride me as hard as you want."
It only cost me five
gallons of oats to get my Hillbilly ass up here, I made it all
the way to Louisville, KY
before I realized I had forgotten to put the saddle on my horse,
so for the next five days
I walked bow legged. Now I know why horses and women get along
so well...all my ex-girlfriends
used to say as long as you feed me, you can ride me as hard as
you want!" So now I take all
my dates to the local CO-OP for dinner!
Three men were standing at the gates of heaven waiting for their
new cars, which
are assigned on the basis of how many times each has committed
adultery. The
first man, who never cheated on his wife, is given a Rolls Royce.
The second man,
who played around on his wife a little, is given a Cadillac. The
third man, who cheated
on his wife with anything that walked, was given a Volkswagon.
Later that day the
man with the Volkswagon noticed the guy driving the Rolls Royce
pulled over to the side
of the road crying like a baby. He pulled up along side him and
said, "why are you
crying? They gave you a Rolls Royce." The man said, "yeah, I may
have gotten a Rolls
Royce, but I just saw my wife riding a skateboard!"
I have performed at...
Crackers Comedy Club, Inc
8702 Keystone Crossing
Indianapolis, IN (317)846-2500
Indianapolis Comedy Connection
247 S. Meridan St. 2nd floor
Indianapolis, IN (317)631-3536
Stacy L. Harvey
Comedian and Entertainer
212 E. 39th St.
Anderson, IN 46013
Coming Soon To..
Broad Ripple Comedy Club
6281 N. College Ave. 2nd floor
Indianapolis, IN (317)255-4211
It may take a couple days for me to respond to email!
COOL LINKS
Hillbilly's good
ole boys homepage-great page...lots of cool stuff!
Hillbilly's
Medical Terminology
Hillbilly
Mom's letter to son-very funny!
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