Bless Your Heart 
OK...I know some of you are Northerners and
some of you are
Northerners converted to Southerners and
some of you are the
real thing, but I thought yall' would
enjoy this. Bless Your
Hearts, Yall!
Someone once noted that a Southerner can
get away with
the most awful kind of insult
just as long as it's prefaced with the
words, "Bless her heart" or Bless
his heart." As in, 'Bless his heart,
if they put his brain on the head
of a pin, it'd roll around like a
BB on a six lane highway." Or,
"Bless her heart, she's so
bucktoothed, she could eat an
apple through a picket fence."
There are also the sneakier ones : "You
know, it's
amazing that even though
she had that baby 7 months after they were
married, bless her heart,
it weighed 10 pounds." As long as the heart is
sufficiently blessed, the insult can't
be all that bad.
I was thinking about this the other day when
a friend was
telling about her new Northern friend
who was upset because her
toddler is just beginning to talk
and he has a Southern accent. My
friend, who is very kind and,
bless her heart, cannot do a thing
about those thighs of hers, was
justifiably miffed about this. After
all, this woman had CHOSEN to
move to the South a couple of years
ago.
"Can you believe it?" said her friend.
"A child of mine is
going to be taaaallllkkin
liiiike thiiiissss."
Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest
friends are
from the North, bless their hearts.
I welcome their perspective,
their friendships and their recipes
for authentic Northern
Italian food. I've even
gotten past their endless complaints that you
can't find good bread down here.
And the heatherns, bless their
hearts, don't like cornbread!
The ones that really gore my ox are the native
Southerners who
have begun to act almost embarrassed
about their speech. We've
already lost too much. I was
raised to swanee, not swear, but you
hardly ever hear anyone say that
anymore, I swanee you don't.
And I've caught myself thinking twice before
saying
something is "right much"; "right
close" or "right good" because
non-natives think this is right
funny indeed. I have a friend from
Bawston who thinks it's
hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my
daughter to the doctor or "cut
off" the light. She also gets a giggle
every time I am "fixing"
to do something. And, bless their heart,
they don't know where "over
yonder" is , or what, "I reckon" means.
My personal favorite was my aunt saying,
"Bless her heart, she
can't help being ugly, but she could've
stayed home."
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed
by your
Southerness: take two tent revivals
and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your heart.
And to those of you who are still having
a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff,
bless your hearts, I hear they
are fixin to have classes on Southernese
as a second language!
Bye Ya'll.
I laughed soooooooooooo hard when my sis-in-law sent this to me because it is so true!!!!