LOVE ALISON

When I walked into class yesterday, no one really said a word. Everyone seemed to have a look of shock on their faces. My professor asked us to write our feelings down on paper about how we reacted to what happened Tuesday tothe World Trade Center. They said it wouldn't be graded, it was just for us to write about to get it off of our chest. And so I did. For two hours I wrote non stop about how I felt, where I was and what I saw. Many thoughts filled my head and pictures in my mind that will never go away re-appeared. This is what I wrote:

Yesterday, September 11, 2001, will be a day that America will never forget. It was a day that started out well, and still has not ended. I pulled into work at 7 am, just like any other day. Who would have known that not even\two hours later, a disaster would occur that would leave America wounded and never the same?

I was sitting at my desk when one of my co-workers came up to me and asked me if I had heard what happened. When they told me, I thought it was some kind of misunderstanding. I remember getting up, and going to where the television was and staring at it in disbelief. It was 8:50 am … five minutes after the first plane, which was high jacked from Boston, hit one of the towers of theWorld Trade Center. The room was crowded with people and everyone watched silently as the second plane, high jacked from Newark,NJ, deliberately crashed into the other tower. I will never forget that picture as long as I live. Both towers, still standing, had gigantic flames and clouds of black smoke.

I can not close my eyes without seeing all of those people just hanging out of the windows, begging for someone to save them… waving their t-shirts in the air in hopes that someone could get to them. I am haunted by the sight of people jumping out of those windows, plummeting to their death, just so they wouldn't feel the heat from the flames anymore. It was even stated that an older couple, stuck in one tower together, held hands and jumped … neverletting go.

It wasn't long after we saw the second plane hit, that we got word that the Pentagon had been hit as well. Next was the Washington Mall, which was set on fire. Then we heard that Camp David would be next It just seemed like one thing after another. We watched in disbelief as one of the towers banished into nothing; crushing everything and everyone below it. A while later, the second one collapsed as well, making New York City nothing but a dark cloud. The news stations looked like they were playing scenes from Independence Day
and Armageddon. Only it was real. I could actually hear people in the streets crying for help and glass and other pieces of debris falling from the buildings.

I heard the cries of children, who had no idea what was going on. Not all of them saw what happened, but the loud noise was enough to scare them. For those children who actually did see it happen, I feel so bad. It was like the innocence was taken right out of their once perfect and care free world. And they didn't ask for that. Some of these children will have the pictures of yesterday's tragedy forever embedded in their minds. Some of them are still wondering why mommy and/or daddy haven't come to get them yet They will have to grow up knowing that their parents died because of another man's
hatred and ignorance.

It was said last night, as of 9:45pm, that 285 fire fighters and 45-50 police officers were not accounted for. They did everything to save those who needed to be rescued. For this they will forever be heroes. Hundreds of innocent people, of all ages and races were taken up to Heaven yesterday. None of them knew they were going, and many didn't get to say good bye. Their families had no idea that yesterday morning would be the last time they would see their loved ones. The saddest part is that we are not even close to finding the exact number of victims killed yet and there are already so many.
The President and Govorner of New York ordered 11,000 body bags from the FBI. Why does this have to happen to innocent people?

So when asked how I feel about the whole thing, I can't help but get upset. How am I supposed to feel?

I watched, along with many other people, while smoke filled Manhatten and debris floated three miles away from the actual explosion. I watched New Jersey's backyard turn into nothing. Everyone in New Jersey has been to New York City. It was a place to go that was always filled with excitement. And it will be again, I'm sure. But not for a long time. So I am heartbroken that the city which never sleeps has been silenced.

I am shocked and confused because I don't understand how people could be so cruel to take the lives of so many innocent, unaware people. I am angry a those who are trying to gain off of so many people's tragic loss. I am angry that this country can no longer be considered safe. I am angry that so many lives were taken and there are people in other countries laughing and dancing in the streets because of what happened to us.

And I am angry at the security system in airports all over. What is it going to take to get them to see that they need to pay attention to what is going on right in front of them? How many more people will be able to bring deadly weapons on board an airplane before this actually gets through? Sure, the system will boost security now… because this just happened. But look at what we had to go through to get them to open their eyes. And in a couple of months, when things die down, it will go back to how it was before.

It makes me sick to my stomach to know that the people who we call "security" at these airports are paid minimum wage, and have little experience. LITTLE EXPERIENCE. Who the hell hired them?! It's just so comforting knowing that some low paid, idiot is the person who is checkin bags and in charge of security in our nation's air ports. That is just so great to know.

And I am angry that I had to watch all of this happen, via tv, knowing it was so close to where I live, and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. No one could. I am scared because like everyone else, I don't know what is going to happen next, or if anything is going to happen at all. I pray that this is over, but I fear that it is not.

But as I sit here in class, with all of these emotions going through me, I can't help but also feel a sense of relief for my family and friends safety and for my safety as well. I look around at my classmates and wonder if they are feeling the same way; Grateful that they are safe, but compassionate for those who may not be.

I thank God that I am still here and my loved ones are safe. And I know that those who are not will be welcomed by Him with open arms.

In all of my 19 years, I have never been exposed to anything nearly as tragic as what Iexperienced yesterday. It is something that plays again and again in my mind and I will never forget it.

Some people's first reaction was to panic and show our weakness. This gets you no where and is exactly what the terrorists wanted. They want us to walk on eggshells and be afraid of our very own shadows. It is up to us to not let that happen. We are America. All of us who are citizens in this country are America. United we stand. In God we trust. I have had adults come up to meand
say they feel sorry for my generation because this is what we have to look forward to. Well that's a nice thing to say at a time like this. But you know
what? This won't happen again if the peope of today, not tomorrow, do something about it instead of letting other countries walk all over us. And as a "child of the future" I will NOT accept that this is the way of things
and I will be damned if I am going to live on my knees.

I am scared, but not so scared that I am going to stop living. I too would like to know when this is going to end and IF it is going to end. We can only hope and trust in God to take care of us. I have faith that He will.

The people whose lives were taken will forever be remebered. They are our city's angels now.

So this letter is for them. And it is for the citizens of the United States of America. May we continue to live freely. And may we look back on this day and teach our children's children that yesterday is what follows with
hatred and no good can come of it.

I write this with tears in my eyes, sorrow in my heart and hope for future to only get brighter.

** I wrote this mainly for myself, but I wanted to share it with my family and friends. I am not a professional writer ... I just wanted to speak my
mind. Forward it along to others if you want - add on to it... delete it. Whatever... I'm not picky! I just thought I would share it with anyone who wants to read it. Thank God we are all safe, and God Bless those who may not be, as well.
Love,
Alison