He's been there for me for the last 14 years, we met when he was 18 and I was 25. No matter what we have been through he's been there. Not always supportive, not always seeming to care, but there nonetheless. What is it about a man that makes it seem that he has no feelings when you can be totally emotional? Anyway he has taken on 2 children that were not his without looking back, and has seen me through the death of a son that he was not the biological father to, and then experienced the death of his own 3 month old son to SIDS and still is brave enough to try to raise another baby. I'm not saying he isn't scared of having another baby in the house, but he will brave through it.
He is one of the hardest working men I know, yet at home I have to beg him to mow the yard or take out the trash. Why is this?
Scott has done so many things in the 14 years I have known him. He started out as a cashier at a Shell station, went to being a shoe sales person for a Shoe Carnival, where he was promoted to Floor supervisor when they opened a store more local to our home. Then he decided we should move to Florida and he became diesel mechanic on cranes. He was so good at what he learned that when the company opened a new division of product sales he was moved to the small engine repair shop with the promise of being Shop Foreman. Unfortunately the manager of the store didn't feel the same way and he was let go before he could receive his promotion. Next he became a mechanic for an international company based out of England where he repaired diesel engines, hydraulic brake lines (all hydraulic lines) etc., on garbage trucks. Eventually we moved back to Indiana where he went to work for a Heating and Air Conditioning company and became a certified HVAC technician. He decided that the person that he worked for was just to hard to work with and left to come to work somewhere closer to home. He got a job working at the Country Club with me as a busser. We trained him to serve, bartend and bus. With his knowledge of repair and after 8 months of service to the club he was promoted to Banquet Coordinator which is what he does now. He works very hard helping to put together the floor plans for banquets and pulling them off. He also helps to oversee certain repairs on equipment if he isn't actually doing the repairs. I see this as a long term job for him if the management team ever gets their stuff together and he can do the job he was promoted to do. Can't explain all that right now. Could be a breech of verbal contract.
I see Scott as a good father, if not always attentive. He doesn't complain about taking care of the kids and has always been a pitch in dad. Changing diapers, washing clothes, fixing meals, doing dishes, etc. But he is a little lax on the discipline side. My fault probably. I tend to be protective of my kids. Even though I do not have a problem dishing out the punishment.
You may wonder why I don't understand my husband much. Well, he can be too contradictory. If I ever get him figured out I'll let you know.
SPECIAL NOTE: What a man!!! He was such a help during the recent delivery of our newest child. I thought that he might be too unattached to the process due to his fear of losing another child. But he was great, he stayed right there with me and when I was in a lot of pain he was brave enough to rub my back to help relieve the tension. He stood a very good chance of being punched just for touching me. When it came time for her to be born for the first time ever he caught her coming out. Then he cut the cord. These are things he had never done before and he was so touched by it all that he had tears in his eyes. I am very proud of him, not to mention that being so involved helped to bond him to his little girl in a much quicker time than I had expected. He is being wonderful. He even is paying attention to her before me. I don't mind. She'll only be a baby for a little while, we'll be together forever.
Update (December 15,1996): Well, bad news, Hubby is very disillusioned with his work place. They have dumped so much work on him and do not give him the cooperation that he needs from the dining room side of the house that he is ready to just chuck it all and move on. I tell him this is not a wise move yet. I see changes coming in the near future and he would do well to stay until we see what the changes are. Could be a bigger promotion in store for him. I keep my fingers crossed. He is a valuable employee and cannot be replaced as easily as some of the others can be. I will let you all know how it goes, and come January, if anyone in the Anderson Indiana area is looking for a hardworking no nonsense employee skilled in the above mentioned areas you can email Scott at tempter@netdirect.net . He will reply to all email.
Update (May 16,1997): Would you believe that he is still disillusioned
with the job and he won't leave it!! What a glutton for punishment. I won't
say he is being dumb, but he sure lets them walk all over him to be able
to provide for his family. I wish he could just say Shove This Job, but
that is not his style. They have made him head of Maintenance also, and
this is really draining him. The changes we foresaw have not come through
yet, and the promotion has not materialized. He has even more to worry
about now. We have bought a new house and this is one of those fixer uppers.
Barely fit for human habitat. But it is livable, much more so thanks to
dear Scott working diligently at home to make sure that he has a home for
children. Recently we had problems with my 15 year old which caused the
police to come to my house, when they saw the condition of the house (my
housekeeping was no help) they took everyone of the children right out
of here. Scott worked hard on the necessary repairs to bring them home.
Not to mention that he also made it to work everyday, I did what I could
to prepare the house for an inspection that would satisfy Child Protective
Services and together we got it done in one week. The children (save the
15 year old) all came home. This was hard on all of us but I saw in Scott
many moments when he wanted to just break down and call it quits. But not
at the risk of losing his children. I saw him telling someone on IRC that
going through this was as bad to him as when our son died 3 years ago.
I really felt for him, he does not like to show emotion and sometimes I
do forget he feels too. But we have gotten through the worst of it and
now with intermittent inspections to see how the work is coming and him
staying on me to stay on the kids to keep it clean and safe things are
going well. I still don't understand his reasoning on a lot of stuff and
he really irritates me sometimes but he more often makes me very proud
to call him my husband.
Update June 22, 1997: HAH The changes have finally begun!! The coworker giving him so very much grief was fired a few weeks ago. HURRAH!! He is still overworked and underpaid but he is paying the bills. And we see light at the end of the tunnel. In just a couple of weeks he will be able to work a few less hours each week, and spend some more time with his family. And we sure miss him too. I am hoping he will finally ask for that raise he so deserves. Or if we are really lucky he will begin to make some money on a business venture he is undertaking with another co-worker. This will be helping people to keep their homes that they have tried so hard to keep yet have run into financial problems and are facing foreclosure. It is an interesting business but I will not be involved in it. Too much knocking on doors for me. Do not mistake my mentioning this as a solicitation for business, it is not, the process doesn't work that way. Only mention it so that you will know he does have another avenue to support his family so that eventually he will not have to depend on the country club for his income. I think the club is totally wearing him out. I would prefer to see him more at home and be a month behind on all our bills, but he is a true provider for his family. Gotta respect that.
Updated: October 06, 2000