You know you need a life when....

You eat your fruit loops according to color.

You sign up for everything that's free
just so you'll get mail. (e-mail included)

You take coffee breaks even though you don't have a job.

You're on a first name basis with phone solicitors.

You never pay your bills on time just so they'll call you.

You sort your towels according to how much fringe
they have on the edges.

You watch the washing machine do the spin cycle
because it's the most movement you've seen in months.

You try to slice cheese as thin as Kraft Singles
just for the hell of it.

You name your house plants.

You take items back to the store just for the fight.

You consider going to Wal-Mart a big night out.

You set your alarm clock according to the TV Guide.

On job applications you see the "position held" box
and think it's got sexual overtones.

You brag about getting to talk to the host of the hour on
The Shoppers Network.

You actually invite the Jehovahs Witness to come in.

When you hear "We'll have a representative in your area"
on the phone, you get excited.

You hear imaginary sounds in your car
just so you can take it to the mechanic.

You go to the airport just to be approached
by the bald guys handing out flowers.

You consider it a moral victory when the fast food joint
gets your order right.

You actually know what way the water twirls in the toilet.









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