Thanks to T-Mom for the following receipe....
MOM'S BROWNIES
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing
shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows
for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call
was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct
dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you
have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside
while there's still time and he's still able to run away.
FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away --far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr. in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for
ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.
Well, due to all the harrassment about my brownies and the different uses for them I have added the following section...thanks to Mrs. & Mr. Mike, Tigger's Mom, Jrs50, T4runner, Village Farmer,Alasklab, Pearlring, WalkerLady, Tigger's Dad (Sasquatch), Marie 96, 4M, Zirnon, Slowhand, Maatkare, Cruella and various others for their suggestions.
kill my fellow co-workers
bookends
bombs
door stops
car blocks
buidling bricks
Department of Defense secret weapon
beat husband with
heat shield tiles for space shuttle
how I really broke my ankle was when brownies fell on foot
someone's husband submitted a suggestion to the Department of Defense on making a new missile. The intercontinental Munchken Brownie Missle. If it hits you your gone and if you eat the fall-out you are just as gone. They have one reservation though, they worry about the damage to the wildlife and the ozone (do you know the half life of your brownies and how long we would have to store them in underground vaults after we are done using them).
Make sure the prisoners don't get hold of my brownies during a riot they could be used as weapons
If the inmates got them for dessert, it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment
Paperweights
Ballast in ocean liners
Counterweights on dredges
Landfill
pool tiles
extra balls at batting practice
hockey pucks
Use them as ice scrapers
Soak them overnight
in water and then use them to chink log cabins..you don't even have to stain them
as the color blends in with the old wood
To fill in the potholes in Minnesota's roads
Use my brownies to grind diamonds into diamond dust
Use them as a boat anchor
I make "blackies" not "brownies".
...More suggestion will follow...some I've forgotten, but I'm sure my good friends in PetChat will remind me..
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