What did one cloned sheep say to the other?
I am ewe.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
The survivors were marooned.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you,no charge."
A Buddhist refused a shot of novocain during his root canal work, so you can say he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
The first atom asks, "Are you ok?"
The second replies, "No, I lost an electron."
The first one inquires, "Are you sure?"
Whereas, the second atom states, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
There was a king who was so fond of animals that he forbade everyone from hunting anywhere in his kingdom.
This law so enraged the people that they revolted and threw the king out.
This was the first time in history that a reign was called off because of game
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle searching for food, when he came across two men. One of the men was sitting under a tree and reading a book and the other man was keying in a story on his laptop.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book because the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Two boll weevils grew up in the cotton fields. One decided to make something of himself, and moved to New York and became a successful businessman, while the other one stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one became known as the lesser of two weevils.
There was a mushroom who couldn't get a date.
He doesn't know why the girls don't like him since he is such a fungi.
A three-legged dog walked into a saloon and annnounced to all the cow pokes,
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, hoping at least one of his puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.